My parents are Christian but luckily they’re incredibly open-minded and loving. They’ve granted me a great deal of freedom and provided me with wonderful opportunities throughout my life. My parents made me attend Sunday school for several years during my childhood and adolescence. I resented getting up on Sunday in order to be bored out of my mind for an hour and a half.
Living in an incredibly atheist country for half my life definitely had an influence on my religiosity. This does not mean that I am nor ever was an egotistical hedonist who broke all the rules, quite the contrary. Of course, some would just label me so simply due to the content of this blog.
An internal compass has always guided me through my life and it is something that I’m incredibly proud of. Was it a result of a good upbringing by my parents, early childhood experiences, role models, or all these combined? Was it learned through experience or is there something deep down at the core? I honestly don’t know.
My confirmation was uneventful, certainly nothing remotely similar to the incredible ‘coming of age’ rituals performed around the world. But, there was a point where I stood up and the entire congregation clapped for me. I felt something at that moment, it was unusual but I could never figure out if it was a divine moment, psychological reaction caused by the environment, or just self-induced. Probably, more like the later two than the prior. It felt like an important moment but also unclear in a way. It’s difficult for me to describe.
I will never forget the moment which occurred only a few years later. At the age of seventeen I refused communion at church while my parents sat right next to me. I’m pretty sure they noticed even though nothing was said after the fact. All I know is that my parents never made me go to church again. To clarify, the reason why I didn’t partake in the ritual was not out of rebellion towards my parents or even the Church. I simply didn’t feel right partaking in an act which was holy to some but meaningless to me.
Many years have passed since then and through my various experiences I somehow feel closer to the religion then ever before. Don’t get me wrong, I still denounce belief and faith. To me religious faith requires the voluntary suspension of knowledge and commonsense. It’s the act of accepting something as a truth in accordance to ones will alone.
I would prefer a kind of intellectual anarchy where whatever was pragmatically applicable was brought to bear on any situation where belief was understood as a self-limiting function. Because, you see, if you believe something, you are automatically precluded from believing its opposite; which means that a degree o your human freedom has been forfeited in the act of committing yourself to this belief.
Today, Christianity gets a lot of criticism from many different groups. It seems to be the cool religion to bash and due to many events from the past and present it has gone beyond the necessary prerequisites to deserve such a harsh critique. Islam has also been hit hard; many people lead us to believe that an extremist hides behind every follower.
I find many popular religions to be like the diet coke of the people. “Follow this doctrine and your soul will be saved!”
Yet, I still find many ideas presented in Christianity and other religions very similar to my own. My respect for those who practice a religion has grown immensely. Now, I won’t say these are my beliefs; I’ll be slyer and say that I like these ideas but don’t hold them to be true.
God is omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. Energy, consciousness, and existence can be equated with the very same concept. There is not an action that can be performed which is outside of God. The image of the father figure who gazes upon us like the owner over his fishbowl is a glitch in the mainframe.
We arose from a void to create and experience. God is playing with itself; we are the actors, the spectators, and the show.
“the devil? that still exists, that concept? really? does it really exist? the devil? a devil really exists? does it really, ya’ll? well tell me something, what could oppose god’s will…? nothing, could it? hahaha! a little delightful little realization. NOTHING COULD OPPOSE GOD’S WILL! NOT NOTHING!”