I still find it quite funny that I actually read this book after 2 years of criticizing its ideas. I am one of those people who are too intelectually arrogant and pretentious to read a book which has gathered quite as much popularity among the common folks (for I, the Esoteric Sheik, am of a noble breed – blue blood, two cocks – that sort of thing), seemingly for all the wrong reasons. I wasn’t intrigued by the ideas that the author proposed – I already knew a fair amount of them, more than enough to be able to tell where the author was fabricating his ass off. Yes, Dan Brown did a great job in writing an entertaining piece of literature – his novel is very cunningly written and once I picked it up I couldn’t let go. It’s a good book, it’s a great thriller, the story is captivating and the plot well researched – for a novel that is. But that’s not the reason that the Da Vinci Code became so big and the reason it did infuriates me. And that is where trouble enters paradise.

Spoiler Alert!

You know, I am a sucker for the Knight Templars, for identification of the faults of Christianity, and all that esoteric ‘nonsense’, the worship of Isis above all. What pisses me off is that the author portrayed numerous pieces of information as facts, oftentimes these pieces of information were speculation at best, bullshit at worse. As far as I know the controversy around Mary Magdalene and the possibility of Jesus’s marriage are the only possibilities for truth in Dan Brown’s novel, out of the truly controversial topics. There is some archeological evidence of Jesus’s existence, logic beckons that he had a wife, him being Jewish and all. Mary Magdalene could have been very easily smeared by the church, they have done worse. As to the outrageous claims about the Holy Grail, the Templars, Da Vinci and so on – fabrications one and all. As to blaming the Christian church for the death of the worship of the female and of nature, well, that’s rubbish – that has started happening way before the birth of Christ and not only in Christian parts of the world. He also claims that 5 million women were killed by the inquisition, errrm, In Britain 300 women were killed (hanged not burned), in other places I somehow doubt the number was higher. I believe that the number will be in thousands, not fucking millions! As for tracing the end of matriarchal values and the end of the equality of the sexes to the birth of Christ, well, that’s even more rubbish.

So, once again, I have to pat Dan Brown on the back for writing a good novel. But I also have to give him a slap or two for using a Harvard professor as him main character to give credibility to his bullshit, for making a Louvre curator a grandmaster of a non-existent secret society, for making the villain English (isn’t this American cliche too proliferated already?) and so on.

I have spoken very briefly with the Monochromatic Knight about this novel and he said that he believed that this book carried a more deep purpose and as such warranted less attention of the negative kind. I will let him defend the Da Vinci Code at his own time. En Garde!