For those who while participating in the FoF discussion felt the need to move elsewhere and concentrate on other projects.
May 4, 2007
May 4, 2007
For those who while participating in the FoF discussion felt the need to move elsewhere and concentrate on other projects.
May 5, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Reflections on The Fellowship of Friends No. 1
I wish to spend sometime simply trying to write out a list of titles that seem relevant to reflect on. I would appreciate it if others suggest titles or areas that I have not looked at that also seem relevant. Participation is appreciated. I will slowly fill in under each title things that seem relevant that have been posted in other blogs or are part of Fellowship published material.
During this first month I will probably renew the presentation of titles every week, then, as we settle into a structure that seems comprehensible enough, maybe it will get corrected once a month.
If you wish to participate in this reflection on the Fellowship of friends, it would be appreciated if you could choose one of the following subjects as title of your input so that the rest of us can be more clear about the area you are trying to address. You may also suggest the addition of other areas not presented here that you find relevant.
It is assumed that everything presented here is the subjective view of the people writing in it. Each one takes responsibility for what he/she says. It would be appreciated if people would use at least half their name.
1. The Fellowship of Friends
History
The Arc
Other aims
Art
Legitimacy
Relevant information by other authors
1a. Money in the Fellowship of Friends
Relevant information by other authors
2. The Teacher
“Known” biography
The Man, the King, the Priest.
Relevant information by other authors
2a. The Ministers
Relevant information by other authors
3. The Inner Circle
a. At Isis
b. In Centers
Relevant information by other authors
4. The Students
a. At Isis
b. In Centers
Relevant information by other authors
c. Ex-students
5. Theory and Practice
Three lines of work
“Biological” families
Consciousness without functions
The lower Self, the king of Clubs, False personality
Feminine Dominance
The King of Hearts
The exercises
Living in Renaissance, Apollo, Isis.
Living in Centers
Self Remembering, Presence.
Sexuality
Good householder
Relevant information by other authors
6. History of legal conflicts
7. The Human or Inhuman aspects of the Fellowship of Friends (Different cases)
Health.
Indoctrination
Idolatry
Coercion of speech.
Control and omission of information
Mental and emotional “programming”
Exploitation of human resources.
Use and abuse of individuals
Inconsiderateness
Control of participation
Privileges of a few.
Relevant information by other authors
8. Personal testimonies.
9. Rough Statistics
Total number of students
Students in the Fellowship as of may, 2007
Ex-students as of May, 2007
Suicides
People that had to look for “Professional” help to overcome the traumatic experience of being a student of the Fellowship of Friends.
Relevant information by other authors
May 7, 2007 at 10:59 pm
This deeply moving letter appeared in the Fellowship of Friends Discussion of Animam Recro.
WhaleRider Says:
May 5th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Reading this blog has been a very visceral and emotional experience for me, which I am grateful to transform into presence, for I live the work every day of my existence. When reading it I perspire heavily. In the past week since I was informed of it and dived in, I have had many instances of energy shooting down my sides, and I am moved to tears several times a day when I reflect upon what I experienced in the FOF. Yet the sheer energy contained in this blog, both raw and refined is quite impressive as I am sure the venerable sheik and knight will agree, and I cannot stop reading it. I find myself hoping of recognize my story, only to realize that it is not there because I have not told it.
I want to be clear that I do not wish to be part of any lawsuit against RB or the FOF. I am not motivated by any hope of financial gain, nor am I willing to join a crusade to end the FOF. It will undoubtedly collapse under its own excesses, or not, I could care less. Each person, in or out, must choose for themselves, which I believe is one of the reasons this blog is so valuable. I have built a comfortable, happy life and successful business post-FOF for myself and my family which I wish to protect. I ask anyone whom may recognize my identity to please respect my privacy and keep my name anonymous. Although current FOF members may wish to argue that in divulging my story I have violated the personal privacy of RB, that his public life is distinctly separate from his private life. My response is this: when a teacher brings his student into his private life and uses “work” language in his seduction, that distinction is gone. For each of us, no matter how long we have contact with the FOF; it is and will be a deeply moving and personal experience, not because of the man, but of the possibilites of growth within each of us.
To Golb:
Now that your tail is out of your mouth, you glibly strike at this blog-my air, at the children, and at me? You have no idea who I am and what I have been through, Golb, whatever the heck that name is supposed to mean. I am WhaleRider. I have ridden the BIG FISH into the deepest, darkest, coldest depths until my lungs have screamed for air, my soul choking in my throat, and I have survived. I let myself be swallowed whole, have kept myself intact, had my semen drained nightly by a sex maniac who gave the most wondrous, intentional, conscious blowjobs, had my essence gouged open as I lay resting on the Goethe Academy floor as a human shield for the precious artwork, the lights left on the LeBrun all night to keep my exhausted body in first-state deprivation, my king of clubs bound and gagged, unable to protect me from this terrible angel who would rouse me and lead me secretly, stealthily into the dark of his gilded bed-chamber to service his need for the good of us all, in this school of “shut up and be present”, this silk-lined labyrinth of luxury complete with the matching salt and pepper shakers, where I puke out his semen in the imported porcelain toilet along with the fine wine and pepper steak from the teaching dinner earlier that night and wipe my face on the Egyptian cotton towel just before I’d retire until dawn cracks open another day and he slumbers peacefully until lunch dreaming of sugar plums because they remind him of testicles…while the rest of us toiled in the searing hot sun the next day still weary from our lunatic efforts the day and night before…not once was I told that I was loved in this school of love, but he loved when I returned the favor-only to have to excrete myself one year later, quietly leaving in a gentleman-like fashion, not making a splash, barely a ripple, so as not to disturb anyone else who might be sleeping…to remain alive, and carry out my prophesized soul death sentence as a life-person-oh yeah, that’s right, there was no gun to my head…but thankfully his predictions don’t come true either, do they?
And Howard, Girard, Golden Fleecer, the brave-new-man and miscellaneous moon angels…with your eloquent tongues and trite, text-book explanations for our suffering…I have seen 50 like you dis-“membered” by the insatiable Minotaur at the center of this perpetual labyrinth you call haven, home, Isis… do you have the balls to hear the truth?…the graphic truth?… the painful truth? The truth I paid for with my own hydrogen 12? Do know why he calls himself a goddess? You think an angel told him. Did you know the prostrate gland is the male G-spot? He would orgasm from anal sex without any penal stimulus, and think he had awakened his female side, just as a woman does during anal sex without ever touching the clitoris… He taught me that, he’s such an elevated and exalted teacher! Look it up on the internet, or better yet, try it for yourself sometime…
And can you even FATHOM the nauseating, soul imploding disgust I felt the night he did “rimming” on me, without my consent, and then brought his fecal coated lips to mine and kissed me? Try separating from that. The Darvons he used to hand out were not enough to quench the pain, for this pain is exquisite and it leaves no visible marks! Think of me the next time he kisses your forehead…once those lips had been planted firmly on my asshole and probably countless others from all corners of the planet. And that’s the ultimate of all ironies; he kisses your third eye with those lips, coating the seat of your very soul with fecal matter from the seat of his inner circle.
Please, by all means, stay in the Fellowship as long as you like! Stand by him! Support him! Bring him fresh new, exotic meat, he’s HUNGRY! Or if you like, have a look down the escape hatch he had installed in his closet just in case C-influence happened to be on vacation and he read the tea leaves wrong. Then you will know the darkness that resides under that silk suit. You might want to have your own plan B just in case the Earl has run out of man number five party hats that you have been so patiently waiting for him to bestow upon you…
WhaleRider
1979-1985
May 7, 2007 at 11:03 pm
WhaleRider Says:
May 7th, 2007 at 7:36 am
Whew, more tears, more sweat…I tossed and turned all last night…In the spirit of sharing and completely divesting myself of the FOF brand of personal improvement, cuz’ I’m feeing a distinct Hawaiian vibe here, thanks Arthur, Charles R (I remember you well), Jeannette, Vena, and everyone else for your kind thoughts…what made up my mind to take Morpheus’s little truth pill and flush myself from the Matrix 22 years ago was this: (for which I paid dearly) being close to RB afforded me the chance to see and understand first hand that his relationship and use of the concept “C-influence” was actually in fact ‘magical thinking’ (angels are hovering over the table right now) and ‘ideas of reference’ (the number 44 appearing somewhere just for you), which are two neuroses that function as defense mechanisms for individuals with ego deficits. I am deeply thankful to Miles Barth, who introduced these to me when he followed his conscience out of the school; it awakened mine. I left the FOF five months later.
An easy way to understand how ‘ideas of reference’ works is to assign strong personal meaning to a number other than 44, which I did, and voila, there are just as many shocks out there for those willing shed their FOF blinders and look for them. Don’t take my word for it, do it yourself.
When I began the work, I understood that Gurdjieff’s original definition of C-influence was this: it originates from the lips of a living, breathing, conscious teacher to the student, directed specifically to them, for furthering the student’s evolution. B-Influence was whatever the conscious being produced and left behind when they pass over. (After all that effort, who’d want to hang around on this plane, anyway?) Everything else was A-Influence. Ergo, you do whatever you can to be close to a conscious being to get what you need to evolve. But that was not RB’s brand of “C-Influence”, and it irked me.
My direct experience was that RB was not intellectually sophisticated enough for the task of focusing that much attention (and love) on any one student, he likes to play the field so to speak. So he merely projected his own defense mechanisms into the group to mask his inadequacies. (If shit happens, it is God’s will, not mine.) He diverted our ingrained religious beliefs to the 44, and we bought it. He’s a master of spin.
After posing the question at a meeting in Renaissance, “how does one prolong a higher state?” after much silence and one helpful angle, I received a photograph for vanity feature from Belinda and the subject was changed. Undaunted, I asked Robert the same question during a discrete lunch, with only two others attending so as not to put him too much pressure on him. His answer was to place a wine cork under his French sleeve cuff and to show me how a person in his position could create a memorable state in others who look up to him, but that would not be enough for awakening, the rest is left up to the individual. In other words, he didn’t have the answer. (The thought of doing the sequence 24/7 doesn’t seem to be the answer either.) It then became clear to me that Robert’s self-assigned role as teacher was how he kept himself dialed in and relatively present, but not fully awake in his higher intellect. He wasn’t one for “long thoughts”. All the emphasis on being present seem to inhibit critical thinking, lofty or not. We students were his reminders to pay attention, and he was feeding on us because he had a role to play.
A good example of “ideas of reference” is RB claiming the detention at the airport being a grand play designed by higher forces specifically for him and his entourage to transform into a higher state. (Jeeze, I get that friction every day just riding the bus!) The detention at the airport was a indirect result of his actions, in that he created and maintains the FOF, and it’s always been an odd bunch, to say the least. They raised the suspicions of the airline workers. That’s pretty understandable post-911. “C-Influence” providing friction just for him…I don’t believe so, that’s the snake biting his own tail, he doesn’t know himself. Robert caused this friction on himself and the others by virtue of surrounding himself with a “school” of entitled odd ducks that behave strangely. The idea of not losing your temper and going off at some underpaid, over-zealous republican homeland security dude with an attitude because you have ballet tickets… well, that’s common sense, unless you are looking for a full body cavity search or something.
True C-influence is designed for you (customization- 5/318-innernaut) based on direct observation and means you actually get to evolve, eventually becoming equal or surpassing your teacher (which I don’t claim to be)…but wait…evolving students? That presents a dilemma for the teacher who happens to have developed narcissistic personality disorder (not a disorder that would meet the legal definition of insanity, by the way). Here’s the rub, the nature of that disorder would instinctively compel that teacher to undermine anyone’s evolution if they were to get anywhere close to his level because that teacher always has to be top of the heap, maintaining an unreachable status. (First people RB clears from the playing field, women, no WOMAN will awaken in HIS school, by God. He personally prefers men.)
In groupthink the commonly held myths (i.e. beliefs that cannot be verified) function as an adhesive, binding the group together. Most of us have the need to belong, to feel part of a bigger identity than our small subjective one (a school is for those who know they need one) and the fear of abandonment (shunning) is so strong it keeps the members in line, censoring themselves and putting up with more and more cognitive dissonance. Fear manipulates the members into making excuses for any shortcomings or glossing over the glaring contradictions in order to maintain the status quo and retain membership. And by fear, what could be more frightening than losing your most prized possession, your soul? (In other less materialistic times, it was the fear of everlasting pain.)
So how can you debate the belief that “C-influence” had its hand in creating this school and will determine its fate? (Howard espouses Robert’s beliefs the best.) Or angels guard the gates? Or that God made the world in a matter of days? Or that Allah is the ONE and ONLY prophet. You cannot. Religion is not subject to debate, it is based on faith. You either buy into because you need the eggs, or you don’t.
Discussing these realities to others within a groupthink structure though, would be the equivalent of attempting to describe water to a fish. Besides, I was in my mid-twenties when this was happening, who would listen to me? I’d just get the boot on the spot. Given all I had experienced with RB and that at the very core I disagreed with his definition of “C-Influence” but could buffer that no longer, there was no choice but for me to walk. I did it on my terms, without fanfare. I went out, made a life for myself, and created a family with someone who had no relationship with the FOF. I love them deeply. I am eternally grateful to have accomplished this and worked hard not implode.
I still do believe in synchronicity IN MODERATION. Would I stake my children’s life on it? Hell, no! I use for personal validation purposes only, not to divine the future for others. Remember, the house always wins, as long as you choose to play.
Now I can have some peace.
WhaleRider
1979-1985
May 8, 2007 at 6:45 pm
The following appeared in the FoF discussion in AnimamRecro, page 8.
Ames Gilbert Says:
May 8th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
On the subject of ‘awakening’ in the FOF
I agree with John (#331) and Rabbi Burns, that many practices in the FOF lead to deeper sleep, not awakening. A German woman student shared an exercise to help ‘self-remember’ that could be used for long periods, far longer than the ‘twenty minutes’ that O. claimed would lead to breakthrough. The exercise consists of deepening presence while clenching first one buttock, then the other, very slowly. For some reason, one can do this and not go into imagination for quite long periods; I was able to do it for as long as half an hour. Imagine my disappointment when I didn’t break through!
Another practice that leads to greater, not lesser, sleep are meetings. They are especially dangerous, because this is where the group comes to get inoculated with the latest groupthink. I gather the format of meetings has changed since I left, so some of the details of this letter I sent to Girard Haven on this very subject have changed. But, not the gist. I’m sure these observations contributed to my downfall!
For those interested, here goes:
Either I’m nuts or nearly everyone else is!
Sunday, November 7, 1994
Dear Girard,
Thank you for leading the meeting on Saturday night. I’m sharing some observations and opinions about what went on then for two reasons; I hope they will be useful for you, and I want also to clarify my own thoughts.
There are several areas I wish to write about.
To start with, I assume that to some degree you were intentional when you chose the people who supported you on the podium. It was certainly an imposing array of the ‘old guard’, and had its intended effect. When you and those who you associate with are up on the podium, have you considered what is happening? You are transmitting borrowed power (which comes from Robert, who get all of this particular kind from us). It may make you feel good, but it is not real. And all those in the meeting receive the radiations and also feel good, aligned with you, aligned with the organization, facing the sun—Robert. And we mistake this energy for spiritual energy, and say “If it feels good, I must be more awake!” But, not so! I say this because it relates to what follows.
It is only at a few special periods, such as the one presently unfolding, that an amazing process becomes clear to me, and on Saturday night there was crystal clarity. What I saw was the phenomenon of using the work angles to send ourselves to sleep. A strong statement indeed! Yet, consider this. What were we after when we joined the Fellowship? For me it was an environment that would allow me to wake up as soon as possible. And what does that mean? It means waking up my conscience and learning to distinguish its voice from the surrounding rubbish. Why wake up conscience? So I can listen to it and act on it, making it my internal master, the only valid and real master. If this happens, and it is the only reason to me for living, there becomes no need for an external master. There is only one valid objective for temporarily hiring an external master and borrowing his will, and that is to speed the waking and learn to serve one’s own Ideal the quicker. If I dedicate the perceptions and fruits of my Self to an external master and to an external ideal, no matter how noble, then all I am is a noble slave. This is for me one of the few absolutes.
So, what I saw was that whenever our consciences stir against slavery to Robert’s ideals (which may be noble, but are outside ourselves, and so are just enticing mazes where we lose our individuality), we use the work angles to squash the discomfort. During this extraordinary period of possibilities, the consciences of many students are stirring. But you, I hope unwittingly, used the dead, misused, abused, now lifeless work tools to squeeze the messy struggle of life, and encouraged us to do the same. When you demanded that the angles be objective, you enlarged intellectual center was mistaking dryness and impersonality for objectivity. You set the rhythm for the hypnotic, sleep-inducing delivery of the angles. And so again we simply stopped daring to ask personal questions, or give personal answers, the kind that are bursting with blood, and anguish and caring. If only you had looked, you would have seen from the sappy looks on the faces of those supposed to be your friends the familiar hypnosis of students at meetings, the weird mixture of mild comfort and mild guilt. The same look was on your face, and on the faces of your companions. I only heard two angles that dealt with transformation on a level accessible to us—the ones that used the word ‘love’. That is how difficult the subject is, how mysterious, how out of control and far from our intellectual understanding. The first beautiful angle of the evening, from Ivy, could and should have set the tone for the rest of the conversation. But instead we decided to use the work against ourselves. Any decent emotion has to be “transformed”, not lived. Any questionable attitude has to be euthanized. Any genuine feeling has to be stifled. Any sense of wonder has to be squeezed to death. All this is “transformation”. And this is good because Robert seems to want it. We can support this with dozens of angles that he has passed on, or hundreds of suitable quotations from the work books, or any number of testimonials to Robert’s consciousness.
The second time the word love was used was in your quotation at the end, and I thank you for that. You seemed to come to life, and we responded by coming to life a bit. And we even changed the energy in the room to something higher than comfortable self-congratulation. How can things be wrong when the meetings feel so good? Did you mean it when you called for us to put off childish things, become men? None of us so far seems to be able to. We are satisfied by being told that we are all men number four, that everything is fine, that the gods are on our side. And you are told you are a man number five, or whatever! I hope you don’t believe it. Girard, when we begin to listen to our consciences, and swear loyalty to our internal Ideal over all other ideals, then we will become men number four. When we make our verifications more important than anyone else’s, then we may become men number four. Only then will the shackles that we voluntarily put on ourselves fall away, and the words you quoted start to come true.
Girard, you seem driven by your intellectual center. I’m dominated by my moving center. We can’t solve the real problems by using our centers of gravity alone. If we try, then when we can’t find the answer through them, we just go back to sleep. You told us you are attracting something new when you start skipping. So, why don’t we try ‘skipping’ at meetings? We could try to move in the opposite direction—no poppycock, no unverifiable angles (for example, talking for five minutes about Robert’s consciousness). We can intentionally make them more personal. If we can’t, let us abandon large meetings and try smaller and smaller ones until we reach a size where we can give and receive personal energy among ourselves. The form of our meetings hasn’t changed for twenty-five years! Not very successful results when our watchword is supposed to be to change patterns! My conscience is stirring and making me uncomfortable. It needs room to stretch. Our consciences need exercise. Our job in the school is to exercise our consciences and learn to trust what they tell us. We cannot make any real mistakes if we do this.
To end, I’d like to share some words by Kabir Helminski that another student sent me recently.
“In this time when spiritual fellowships are confused with cults, leadership with tyranny, and submission with the abandonment of conscience, I want to speak for the unpopular and easily misunderstood values of spiritual leadership and the group process… A saying has it that one log will not burn by itself, but with a little kindling a number of logs leaning against each other will make a good fire. A group, any group, generates energy, but the quality of energy and the use to which it is put will determine whether that group becomes a mob, a cult, or a circle of lovers… The power of love is waiting to do its work, and if we independent and isolated people would allow ourselves to overcome our separateness, our suspicion, and our pride, the miracle of unity and affection is still possible. According to a Sufi saying, “Grapes ripen in the sun smiling at one another.”
Sincerely,
Ames Gilbert
P.S. I enclose a copy of a letter I sent to Steven Dambeck after he led the last meeting. I think there is a strong correspondence between the contents of that letter and this.
My illusions fall with the leaves.
The wind—it doesn’t care!
Phew! Just finished keying all that in because the original file is lost. As I mentioned above, this letter, and other letters and activities, surely led to the Big Boot a short while later. Although the format of the meetings may have ‘changed’ superficially, I’d guess that the combined effect of the Big Kahuna pontificating and the distribution word-wide of the subsequent video (a known hypnotic medium in itself) would make the sleep even deeper. I did not receive a reply to this letter, or any others. To be fair, Girard did try to corral me outside the Lodge soon after this one, but I was too angry to stick around to hear what he had to say. I had just been watching him and a couple of flunkies go through the letter boxes, removing what he judged to be subversive material from all the slots. The fact that he took this task upon himself showed me something important about the FOF, and I hadn’t had time to digest it.
The haiku is my own.
With love to you all, ‘in’ or ‘out’,
Ames
May 8, 2007 at 7:09 pm
To the Sheik,
Thank you for the “sketchbook” change and thank you again for having us in your site.
I am wondering to what extent it is possible to keep this “sketchbook” site free of discussion. Basically the aim here is that students or non students write their story and it is fine if in their story they wish to support the Fellowship or question it but posts like Plains, No. 4 are simply detracting from other posts without supporting their statement with their own experience.
I can understand that this may not be possible if it gives you a greater amount of work than you are willing to put in and have no judgement against you for that but if you can think of a way I or others might help and see the reasoning behind my wish, you might consider it.
Basically, many students or others are not willing to read the blog because they are not interested in our personal small or big struggles with each other on the blog and I can very well relate to that. While that has a purpose of its own that I find very useful to keep one’s self in constant questioning, my aim in the sketchbook is to inform, not to discuss. From one angle, anyone wishing to inform about their experience is welcome but posts simply detracting others are not and if I could, I would not post them on the sketchbook, so that it can collect a material that goes very much to the point. Positive or negative but to the point.
The sketchbook as I see it is not about freedom of speech in any of its forms, it is about freedom of expression with an aim. The aim to tell your story, your experience in the Fellowship wether it was very positive or very questionnable of the Fellowship itself.
On the other hand it is not that this insubstantial angles like Plains, do not show the level of mindlessness of the Fellowship responses and that will show itself for what it is and it actually allows for a certain dynamic that is not all uninteresting.
I guess I just wish to share this thoughts with you and am willing to abide by your conditions but would also enjoy hearing your position.
Thank you again
May 8, 2007 at 7:26 pm
To Plain No. 4.
Dear Person behind Plain,
While I appreciate your participation in this site, the aim here is not to have a discussion, to reject or question each other’s statements but to allow for each one of us to tell his story as he/she has experienced it.
The discussion is a much better place for posts like the one you’ve submitted where we measure each other’s oil without compassion. The aim of this site is different. Here we accept each other’s experience and thoughts on the many different aspects suggested to reflect on about the Fellowship, and will not argue or detract from your statement even if it is different to how I or others experienced it. It does not matter wether other’s think it is right, wrong, subjective or objective, it is what each one of us thinks it is and that is enough to be accepted here.
If you wish to support the Fellowship, the best way you can do it is by telling us your own story, what about your life in it has made you love it, grow, live. Surely we have all been in that place and will understand you.
Perhaps you can try to understand where others are, having experienced what they experienced, without undermining them, labelling them or judging them.
Thank you.
Elena
May 9, 2007 at 6:58 am
Appeared in FOF discusion of Animam Recro. Page 8/38
Lady B Says:
April 29th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I am still in the school but I am not a student anymore.
I joined the school 20 years ago with all my heart.
I survived several of the school’s big intervals, when Influence C was “shaking the tree.”
When other students left, I never wanted to know the reason. Each time, some “good student” or center director would act as a filter, saying that the student left because their instinctive center didn’t want to pay any more or because their American puritanical morality made Robert’s sex life into an excuse for leaving.
After a year in the school, a friend of mine left, and before she did she told me that her friend had a relationship with Robert. It was a bad experience, and he left in shock. I was actually relieved to hear that Robert was gay. I’d already been in a group where the teacher was gay. In a second group, where the teacher was straight, and very interested in women, his “wife” had me kicked out because she imagined I was having an affair with him.
In the FOF, I lost a husband, a house, and a lot of money that I didn’t have and don’t have, but none of that bothered me enough to make me leave. Robert has never spoken to me directly — I don’t have money, I’m not rich, I’m a woman. I’m not an artist or actor. I don’t have blue blood or a name of noble origin. So, my role in the school — according to other students — is to pay. That’s my role and for many years I’ve been paying my teaching payment.
I began reading this blog and the letters sent to me by ex-students. I told myself that I’ve been in the school so long that I wouldn’t hear anything bad enough to change my mind, my desire, or my love for Robert.
It didn’t take long to realize that I hadn’t been aware of the level of suffering that many students endured. When Elena wrote, it was as if she read my heart. Now I understand why friends who became Robert’s lovers are so depressed and unable to have a full emotional life. I’ve seen mothers who are happy that their sons were chosen to be Robert’s lovers, and encouraged them not to lose the opportunity to experience higher levels with an angel.
At Isis, children are the last concern. In fact, a friend who doesn’t have children told me, “I think that Isis needs an orphanage.” I was shocked and offended.
I believed that I was helping to build a new civilization, not supporting and paying for all this suffering. I can’t be an accomplice any more. This isn’t the school I was looking for. I’ve learned a lot, but at a very high price. I have a conscience — someone might call it feminine dominance, but I don’t care. All those years I’ve pushed down that inner screaming voice, and had — as many others have — health consequences.
I want to leave the school without a fuss, the way I came, but I want to give a warning to potential students so they have an idea of what they’re getting into. If this blog was available to me 20 years ago, I probably would have made a different decision.
Someone said — I wish I could remember who — that you can see the level of civilization in a country by looking at the way they treat children and old people. Elena, you’re right: I don’t recognize the same Ark that I boarded 20 years old.
During these 20 years, I’ve met some wonderful people, and leaving those friends is going to be a much bigger payment than I’ve ever made. I’m sorry, and I love you.
May 9, 2007 at 7:03 am
Appeared in Page 8/70 of FoF discussion of Animam Recro.
butterfly Says:
April 30th, 2007 at 10:43 am
I am a student as I mentioned in a previous post, but I enjoy the ability to make observations and to make criticisms constructive or otherwise that this blog gives the freedom to do.
Two things I have observed from living at Apollo/Isis is that if you want a job done properly do not hire a student ( with a few exceptions). ‘Life’ people are more reliable.
The second is that, has anyone else ever thought that the Galleria, from the outside, just looks like a Mc Donalds?
May 9, 2007 at 7:30 am
From FoF discussion at AR Page 8/134
To: Clara Helena Haven (#124)
Please get a lawyer to give you general advice before you make any threats to the FOF, however subtle or unsubtle. You need to protect yourself in the visible world as well as the invisible world. Do not make the mistake of thinking Abraham Goldman is the mild, gentle man he projects himself as to so many. When it comes to protecting the Fellowship, he is to Burton as Karl Rove is to Bush—utterly and completely ruthless, and completely without conscience. For him, ANY means justifies the end. He has huge resources behind him, and can easily tie you up in expensive litigation; you might ‘win’ in the end, but you may also be bankrupt. Remember, this country may have quite a different legal system to the one you are used to. For example, in most cases, parties to litigation usually pay their own fees. That means, even if you ‘win’, you are unlikely to get back the costs of defending yourself, at $200 or more an hour, court costs, deposition fees, and innumerable more expenses, not to mention your own time.
I’m not trying to frighten you. I’m not a lawyer, I’m advising you to talk to one before you go too far on your own. I personally know how Goldman works. For example, he sent an employee of the Church of Scientology, an ‘investigator’ called Ingram, to threaten me and my family with harm if I did not help the FOF by withdrawing my help for Troy Buzbee. The sleazy Ingram at that time was wanted in two states for his abusive investigations. Ingram also went to Troy Buzbee’s mother (who knew nothing of the case) and revealed what was going on—not to obtain information (she had none), but to use her horror and dismay as a weapon against Troy. That is the kind of person Abraham Goldman is, behind the soft smile and the ‘harmless’ act.
Another piece of ‘non-lawyerly’ advice: document everything, from now on. Make copies of everything you have that is pertinent to your aims, and put them in the hands of people you trust (and at least one copy abroad, beyond the jurisdiction of a United States court). Do not let Goldman defeat you with a ‘gag order’.
I wish you well.
Regards,
Ames Gilbert
May 9, 2007 at 7:32 am
From FoF discussion in AR P.8
alice in wonderlust Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 1:45 am
Greetings.
I was in ‘the group’ late 70’s and early 80’s, lived at a center and then at Renaissance. I left for several reasons: there was a pervading sense of superiority, separateness, fear and desperation. There was just so much that was about escape and I began to get tired of the desperate desire to escape (the machine, the ‘I’s, ‘life’, and life….etc.) For all the talk of RB being conscious he was not very observant, was way into himself and lacked compassion. I did not want to become dependent on the emotional group thing and it just seemed so small and rather petty wrapped up in big talk.
I wasn’t aware of RB’s predatory behavior – just thought he was gay. Being a predator is different.
What I have found post-fof has been very wonderful. I am very involved in community (more fluid than a small rigid group) and have been able to continue my spiritual interests. My life has not been easy, but the struggle has been alive. I didn’t feel isolated till I moved to another state, but with effort, that has completely changed.
I’m a very private person and I’ve just not mentioned the fof much since then. I guess I’ve felt somewhat embarrassed because of the creepy, sleazy, deluded dark side of this school is very apparent to most everyone except current students. As great and godlike RB and his followers think the fof is – it has that great a shadow which, it seems, they are still unconscious of. For me the process of leaving the group was one of facing shadow material – mine and fof’s of which I partook. Facing shadow is painful – accepting responsibility is worse. I knew that if I stayed longer and bought in any deeper I would not be able to face it – disavowing and running from shadow is deeply ingrained fof behavior. Its interesting…such a tiny group with such delusions of grandeur and light and no recognition of shadow– but the perception of the group my most people (and some former students) is that it is all shadow. (a parallel is the rigid Mormon communities in Utah and their ‘lost boys’.)
The released thoughts of Mr. O (#7-352 ) have been my findings too. My heart and mind are much cleaner and richer cleared of the superiority, rigid rules, desire to escape. Being present is for no reason other than it is its own reward. It is not a bargaining chip, or points accrued for a more ’saved’ status.
I had a lot of good, simple fun in the group and loved California (I was rather young at the time too). I didn’t keep the rules very well and mostly flew beneath the radar – never wanting to become a power position parrot student. Met some very cool, odd, fascinating people some of whom have remained friends and I’ve watched them mature. I don’t miss my ‘in the group’ fof friends since they became extremely negative and dogmatic. Besides, my involvement was very long ago and I’ve made and rekindled some wonderful friendships. Generally, the experience honed my BS-o-meter which has been very useful. Fof is life in tiny miniature- fundamentalists, power plays, control, secrets, politics…politics. Nevertheless, I think we are connected somehow and I have really enjoyed hearing the voices here!
May 9, 2007 at 7:36 am
From FoF discussion of AR. P.8/67
Cake please Says:
April 30th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Dear Siddiq
The school – we all seem to have created our own reality of this. In this instance yours, mine, Lady B’s.
In regard to Lady B, you say “ I am very sorry for you..” What about compassion, do you not feel the suffering?
“ children appear to me healthy and well adjusted, not mistreated, not in any danger.”
Did you read the posts 7/254 of Ms. Reality Check and 7/255 of Heather a daughter of students. Maybe will learn more of what our children actually experience as more of them are now accessing the blog.
Again to Lady B “…parents (of which I am one and I assume you are too, which makes me wonder why we have never connected…”
Not sure if Lady B is a parent but I am. And I guess I could pose the same question to you. But real no matter, there are worlds within worlds here.
And being a parent is not the only criteria for caring about children. Some have given up that opportunity to follow the will of the Teacher. Some far more than that.
As the terra firma now shakes beneath my feet, more and more of my thoughts turn to my children. Fellowship born and bred. Wonderful and magical, constant source of joy.
But also, my thoughts turn to the payment they have made for me to follow my path. Uprooted from centre to centre, city to city, country to country in my pursuit of the good student.
My solace was the students that formed a major part of their life.
Then we moved to Mecca.
Hey mama, your emperor wears no clothes.
This is a real school, real school. Wonderful students, wonderful students. I chanted.
Still love you ma, but really no clothes, no clothes.
Best to you Siqqid, may your children have the love and care of fellow students as mine have had, but have no illusions that this is a school with a heart for children… or women for that matter.
Cake
May 9, 2007 at 7:42 am
From FoF Discussion in AR. P8/144
NoName Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:14 am
I guess it is easy for me to think about lawsuits or class actions lawsuits around someone like Robert Burton.
The man has been so greedy and ruthless, he definitively exploited almost all the members who gave money and time and energy in many forms.
Many ex members here mentioned legal action is a futile route…. Majority will win!
I personally do not have money, or knowledge, or leadership abilities to even initiate such thing.
I would have to know in advance if such effort could be rewarded after all. Someone was joking sarcastically about paying me back with Chinese pottery or some other valuable objects from RB’s collection I suppose…. but realistically I do not think about getting my money back. It would be nice perhaps, but it would not happen.
It is also true that not everyone gets on their feet after leaving the Fof, it has been a few years now and I am still paying personally the consequences for having invested in the fof…
This is hard to forgive.
I am sure someone here could come out and tell me that I should not blame any external circumstances, that it was my choice, etc., I was fully adult and was not “forced” into anything with coercion.
Ok, Ok, I can take responsibility for my foolish choices and can even thank the fate that overall brought me here and also past the fof, after all I have learned a lesson , a huge one and am still learning!
But what I would really like is to make RB’s great lie widely PUBLIC, it has already harmed and continues to harm many people.
There are many nice fellows in the fof among the less so, but even these decent human beings how can they not know of the horrible stories behind the great façade of the teacher? This is what bugs me the most: people continue to fall and to follow a very sick man.
The price in the end is really too big, is a loss of soul for sure, not a gain, unless one eventually realizes the illusion and wakes up, claiming back what is personal and real.
May 9, 2007 at 7:47 am
Excerpts from post 8/149 of FoF discussion in AR
Yesri Baba Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:46 am
I was expelled from the fof in 1980 and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life (that it was much my own responsibilty and fault for giving myself too much to it does not change the pain it caused me).
Most of my evolution has occurred in the 27 years since through my own studies, meditation and just living. Most of my work has been in construction related fields and i can relate to your conversation with the biker.
May 9, 2007 at 7:50 am
From FoF discussion in AR 8/153
butterfly Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 3:53 pm
#8/70, Butterfly
“The second is that, has anyone else ever thought that the Galleria, from the outside, just looks like a Mc Donalds?”
Anonymous Says:
“I had not quite noticed the similarity. The amusement park for kids is missing. You are right to only point to the outside though, because most people would find the interior decor more attractive and the food more interesting.”
Thank you Anonymous and I would like to use this as an example of a deeper malaise within the fof. You are allowed to have your opinion on what you think attractive or not as does everyone but there are many areas in the fof which as Kiran mentions above are “unquestionable”.
The architecture of the Galleria is of the same style as a Mc Donalds and thats fine, if thats all we could do at the time in terms of budget, but don’t fool ourselves that its beautiful just because someone says so.
I personally find the interior fussy, ornate and camp, and as i often feel after a concert, when everyone is saying how beautiful it was, I wonder what is happening. Yes, we do have some gifted musicians, the lady flutist was one example but she just left the fof. We also have a lot of amateurs and those concerts are not always good.
There is a lot of peer pressure to toe the line though and for everyone to forget to mention all the bum notes.
The Russian students who, incidentally, have a higher understanding of music and other arts from their education, do recognise the workings of the old communist party in the style of our own ‘benevolent’ dictatorship.
A piece of plastic is of a low ‘alchemy’, no matter how much gold paint you add on top.
The Galleria is a meeting place for the fof, you do not, however, have to check your critical faculties at the door.
yours, butterfly
May 9, 2007 at 7:57 am
From FoF discussion in AR. 8/158
Whale Rider Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:05 pm
The newer branch of Science called behavioral evolutionism offers this explanation for promiscuity in humans: it is likely a character trait buried deep in our reptilian (instinctive) brains that all men and women, gay, straight or bisexual share with the animal kingdom for survival. The majorities of creatures, big and small are naturally promiscuous, seeking to spread their genes among as many others as possible within their species. This insures the survival of their particular genetic lineage. The alpha male establishes and vigorously defends a hierarchical social structure (pyramid) through intimidation and brute force when necessary, fending off other usurping males, sometimes even seriously injuring himself in the process. This sends the would-be suitors to the margins of the herd as the alpha male engages in unrestricted sex with as many females (partners) as possible within his harem. Thus the sex drive among earth dwellers is, at its core insatiable. Sound familiar?
This would characterize RB as having transformed (evolved?) into more of a “man-beast” (satyr, Minotaur) than an angel or goddess. (Yes, he personally said to me, “Don’t worry, you are with an angel right now”.) Could a satyr give you a higher state if you met one? You bet. Is that why RB was so inspired by the cave paintings of the couple engaged in “doggie-style” sex (probably an early sex manual)? Did he recognize something in himself and buffer it with school language? And the sexual preoccupation with peepee and poohpooh, sounds fairly regressed to me!
May 9, 2007 at 8:01 am
“On saturday May 12th we shall celebrate our teachers 68th birthday on this auspicious year of our first anniversary of the sequence- six – and the – eight – wordless breaths.
if you want to wish our teacher a happy birthday, you may send him a card with a personal note. if you wish to give robert a birthday gift, you may enclose a cheque, made out to Robert Burton
if you are mailing a card and gift send to : Robert Burton, Galleria, Post Office Box 100, Oregon House. CA 95962″
May 9, 2007 at 8:09 am
From FoF discussion in AR. 8/164
A word to the wise… Says:
May 2nd, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Good Advice to Elena from Ames G.
Elena, you may well be risking everything you own. You may not care today, but this can change rapidly when you get sued.
The potential for lawsuits for defamation for both invasion of privacy and the careless and libelous comments you have made about Robert, Girard, and many others now, could undoubtedly lead to successful lawsuits against you by any of a number of people.
To top it off, you are getting ready to launch another project dedicated to repeating your “facts”–with your uncontrolled outbursts of emotion, it is simply a recipe for your personal disaster.
A word to the wise!
May 9, 2007 at 8:13 am
From FoF discussion in AR. P 8/168
Ludger Kreilos Says:
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:56 am
Dear Ladies & Gentleman,
it´s now two days ago that a very good friend of mine and also a former student of the FOF, found this blog and we are still amazed about the amount of articles written in the last month. So first of all a very big “Thank You”! for the founder & moderator of the blog. We all think that You must be the one who must be shaken to the bone of the huge tidal wave that You started without knowing it!
In Robert Burtons words “A joke of the gods” and we think if this blog is still going on, it might be the end of the FOF.
If I would be Robert Burton or the board I couldn’t sleep anymore, ´cause this blog extremely diminishes the amount of new students! Good work!
So first of all a brief summary of my FOF career: My name is Ludger Kreilos, I have been a member of the FOF for seven years, You see I completed my octave. I joined in Sept.1986 and left in Sept.1993,
maybe some remember me, I was part of the so called “Bochum Bunch”. At our peak we were 22 students all coming from Bochum, Germany.
I started in the Cologne Centre, my center directors were “Rolf Disselhoff & Cheryl Disselhoff !
The first two years in the FOF were the most outrageous years I´ve ever experienced, ´cause they gave me a lesson that I´ll never forget my whole life.
The ideas and thoughts of Gurdijeff & Ouspensky were part of my whole being as we mentioned in school language, and being born and raised as a cold war kid. I wouldn´t ever dreamt of becoming a “Hitlerjunge”.
My whole education and socialisation was totally directed to the opposite,
not to become a follower of a cult, strictly guided by very obscure rules!
But the ideas and stories of Gurdijeff & Ouspensky that I heard, read and experienced were so strong, that the FOF seemed to be the one and only “Emergency Exit” out of my unstructured life, even of the weird rules, I was ready and desperately seeking for the guy to come and take me by the hand!
Robert Burton!
A very good lesson to learn. To find my self totally under control of a weird, self mixed theory by ignoring my needs, believes and moral structures. What I learned of it?! That no one as clever or intellectually structured is free from getting trapped. Every party, group, cult or movement works with the same emotional idea:
”You can decide, whether You are one of us or one of them! The sleeping machines with no souls!” And I wanted to be part of the saviour side!
I was the ideal German follower, I would have sold everything or do anything for the school, but fortunately the teacher never asked me to, otherwise I would have gone to “Stalingrad” and fight for the FOF.
I’m still gratefully for experiencing me, myself & the many I´s that everything is possible. For everyone here there is the right cult there outside!
So nearly everyone of my friends joined in the recent years, and we became a more or less stabile group in the FOF, in the end we were the whole Berlin Centre around 20 members the rest located in Renaissance.
Only one was left on our mission to awakening: Andreas Jewers he seems to be still in the FOF! Hey, guy we often think of You !
Strangely enough I must admit that the seven years in the FOF were great, they made me to the man I am!
The FOF was a great opportunity to learn , it was a cultural mind blowing experience. It is still the foundation of my thinking and cultural expression and profession! Thanks for that!
But also I must admit , I had luck, fortunately I never lived in Renaissance except harvest holidays, I wasn´t alone in the FOF , I had my friends with me and we had our doubts and a lot of discussion too, believe it or not the FOF is still a topic of interest for us. Nearly everyone of my friends from Bochum who joined in the mid 80´s and left in the mid 90´s is now living here in Berlin again. Even me, recently moved again in the apartment that was once called the Berlin Centre, funny isn´t it!? Everyone survived the FOF with his or her personal scars, but to be honest if we would have the chance of informing us about the FOF on the internet in the 80´s, we wouldn’t join it! So this forum is a big help for esoterically seekers!
Don´t sell Your soul, to the FOF, ´cause You have One;
The FOF is a degenerated 4th- Way School.
And don´t be naïve, most of all the ex-students didn´t have such luck and stabile social contacts as we all have! Most of them struggle with severe psychic problems after leaving it! Have that in mind!!
So playing with fire is the right picture, some have and will be Burtoned!
I was never abused or raped by Robert Burton, and as far as I know, only one of my friends had to go this way. Sadly enough, but that seemed to be the price of being in the inner circle! Getting a high status in Renaissance, Apollo or now Isis, you have to pay that certain price. And than You will be used and thrown away if You aren´t of any interest of the “Teacher” anymore, as many others experienced before.
Of course we all know Troy Buzzbee and the hundreds before and his followers. This is and was sick, unfair and extremely cruel!
But excuse me Mister Burton, this is Your price; You have to pay; the long ever lasting minute in the moment of Your death when Your little soul is chopped into pieces and every second comes back to Your mind;
where You abused all the people who put their trust in You!
You sold Your soul!
Not the little sheep’s, who gave life time, spirit, money and nearly the best of what they had to serve You!
In the end You´ll recognise it and You even know it !
You can fool some people some time, but You cannot fool all the people all the time!
So You got the best men & women, it was all in Your hands.
You have chosen! You are on the dark side of the moon!
P.S.: Feel free to contact me ,if You wish.
lkreilos@aol.com
May 9, 2007 at 8:18 am
From FoF Discussion 8/180 of AR.
Fellow Traveller Says:
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
The criteria for a genuine spiritual teaching according to Selim Aissel:
(taken from the website http://www.epag.org)
flee those who demand unconditional obedience to themselves or to their representatives or assistants.
flee those who require you to cut yourself off from your family or social relationships.
flee those who prohibit you from seeing the people you want.
flee organisations that demand large sums of money.
flee organisations that display their luxury and wealth.
flee those who deprecate other ways.
flee those who acknowledge their own teaching alone as valid.
flee those who teach you to neglect your family, professional, or social life in order to benefit their organisation.
flee those who make a rule out of limiting sleep and restricting your diet, and teach you all kinds of methods that make you physically weaker.
flee those who judge and condemn.
flee those who require you to believe instead of to understand and verify.
flee those who require you to confess.
flee those who make you believe you are guilty.
flee those who lack a sense of humor.
flee those who employ threats or fear.
flee those who only talk about spirituality without really practicing it.
flee those who promise Heaven after death (especially if you pay them!).
flee those who promise Hell if you don’t convert.
flee those who divide principles and people into good and bad.
flee those who adopt stereotyped attitudes, ways of talking, sitting, dressing, and moving.
flee those who take themselves to be prophets or messiahs.
flee those who often change teachings and teachers.
flee those who envy each other.
flee those who compete with each other or with other organisations.
flee those who only practice within their organisation and not outside of it.
flee those who claim that they understand everything and have nothing left to learn.
May 9, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Ask yourself Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 8:42 am
To Siddiq (#361)
I agree with you, that the new form of the meetings at isis has been more effective than the meetings that were student lead. The latter were filled with anecdotes and quips, but what did you expect- the teacher had stopped teaching (or, stopped leading meetings). I also agree with you that the time and research that goes into preparing the meeting does produce some very fine quotes from a varity of sources and they are inspiring. However, it’s Robert’s comments or interpretations that trouble me.
The quotes from the various disciplines do seem to penetrate something “higher” in myself, but Roberts comments additions seem to create confusion and doubt.
Once, at a Christmas dinner, he mentioned how he had been visited by Jesus Christ the night before. What am I supposed to do with that info? Should I be impressed? Can I verify it?
At another dinner he mentioned how when he cups his hand to his ear, it’s not because he’s hard of hearing, it’s because it slows down his higher centers which operate at an extremely high speed. Again, what do I do with that info, regard him as a superman?
He stopped attending many of the Apollo Arts events because from the surface, it looked like he’d rather stay home and make a bunch of cash serving 150.00 dinners- where you can’t take a bite of food unless Robert takes a bite of food.
The “higher state” we all swear we have at dinners and meetings is most likely produced by being with 50-300 people that are making an effort to stay in Kings of centers. When in life are you EVER in a room with 50-300 people trying to stay in the kings? The answer is NEVER. That’s why we love the fellowship. It creates an environment you can’t find anywhere else. But at what price and with what long term result?
By the way, here’s a quote from the Theory of Conscious Harmony (pg 154). “Someone said to Ouspensky in 1947: ‘I know I am a machine and that I cannot work by myself.’ He answered:’who told you that? Do not believe anyone that tells you that.’”
May 9, 2007 at 6:15 pm
From FoF Discussion in AR. 8/360
Joseph G Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 2:21 am
WhaleRider, I can vouch for your story, as it mirrors my own in many details. And of course we knew each other well. I was 23 in 1978 when Robert came on to me. Not as many times nor as intensely as you describe, but otherwise the same story. Some historic context: in those days many people slept on floors in sleeping bags. For some of us the Blake Cottage was simply an upgrade from sleeping at the Lodge under a dining table. When I moved in there I had no idea that Robert would do what he did. I think it happened less than ten times to me altogether. This covert sex life was emotionally stressful for me, but not unbearable. During my time in Robert’s entourage I received only three gifts that I can remember: a rosewood pen & pencil set, a special-press edition of the Rubaiyat, and an Hermes cashmere jacket. The jacket had actually been purchased for another student but didn’t fit him, so someone had the idea it might fit me. I was married in that jacket less than a year later. Not difficult to do the math in hindsight. There were no orgies back then, at least that I am aware of. There were no Russian students hoping to get green cards, or sex for vouchers either. I worked with a chain saw clearing land in advance of the vineyard landscaping and planting. Lots of poison oak. I remember distinctly that I did not want undue gifts for what I did. The pervasive sense of service, shared conviction and shared affection was very satisfying, probably addictive. We would work hard during the day and take turns serving each other at night. My evening job was providing wine, which strangely has remained my profession to this day. It’s hard to say exactly when I realized that I was not the one and only lover Robert had, but at whatever point I did realize this fact, I also assumed there were probably no more than a few others. I also had no awareness of people getting hurt at the time. I never talked about it, nor did my housemates. In hindsight this seems incredibly naive, even at 20-something. What needs to be understood is that the men close to Robert were envied by many in the community, and continue to be today. Not because of the sex or the gifts, but because they were allowed to be close to the teacher. This is important to understand because when you envy someone it is extremely difficult to think of that person as a victim. And when you are envied by others it is also difficult to think of yourself as a victim. This dynamic has become even more acute lately, as Robert has substantially withdrawn himself from personal contact with most of this run of the mill students.
The big difference in my story from WhaleRider’s is that I stayed in. It has only been one month since I left the FOF, and 31 years since I joined. Consequently I have many friends in the FOF today. Some are probably reading this. If I had known what Ames or Charles or Miles knew, I may have left earlier. But I did not know everything they knew. Even now I think many FOF members do not know, and some absolutely do not want to know. Although no longer an FOF student, some of the revelations of this Blog have been shameful and horrifying to me, and I agree with the many comments regarding conscience as a glaring weak spot, both within myself and in the FOF. In my own case it was not the sex or the abuse of power that provoked me to leave the FOF. I left because I lost all respect for the teaching. It has no integrity for me now. The “real school” I thought I joined in 1976, the practical school that urged me to verify everything and remember myself always and everywhere, that valued being over knowledge, has been turned into a weird circus of revisionism, numerology and inane ritual. With four children at home I simply could not justify paying $15K to $20K per year merely to attend concerts, community markets and potager lunches. Going to a meeting or dinner with Robert had become a dreaded experience for me; and yet I tended to blame myself for no longer being able to connect with my teacher or with his obtuse and increasingly delusional teaching. Being free is an unexpected relief. I am happy and grateful to find myself in the role of a beginner once again.
With love,
Joseph G.
1976-2007
As a postscript: A few months ago I received a letter from my high school regarding a Jesuit priest who had been institutionalized for having sex with students. His name was Father Bradley. He had been a disciplinarian at my school when I was a junior and senior. It was a strange shock. I realized that in hindsight several of my Jesuit teachers had clearly been homosexuals, and that the scandal in the Catholic Church had come uncomfortably close to touching my own play. What would I have done if that man had forced himself on me as a 17-year-old? Could I have avoided it? Would he have thought it was consensual? How different was it that Robert took advantage of my youth and inexperience a few years later? In point of fact there was one huge difference: Father Bradley was an unpopular sadistic-looking priest in a religion I had already turned away from, while Robert was my spiritual teacher, and the man who brought me the magic gift of self-remembering. For the record I still believe self-remembering is a great gift, despite all the interesting counterpoints within this Blog. And I am prepared to allow for an ongoing glimmer of karmic gratitude to Robert, in spite of what I now know about him. Just don’t mistake this for condonation or support.
May 9, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Most posts are being taken from the FoF discussion of Animam Recro, so I will avoid continuing to make that refference on each post and will rather state it if it does not come from that discussion.
May 9, 2007 at 6:19 pm
SandraC Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 10:38 am
I want to voice my appreciation for the posts by WhaleRider #262 and Joseph G #360 and #304 Dick Moron (and many others I have not noted) and share my sadness as others have done that you have had such traumatic experiences at so impressionable an age with someone you trusted and believed in. Your courage in coming forth with your stories inspires me.
As I have mentioned, I left FoF in 1992 after 20 years, 10 years of which I played a ‘leadership’ role, and I am JUST NOW actually beginning to come to terms with the personal impact of RB’s sexual behavior.
It has taken this long, I believe, to have the strength to bear it. And these heart-rending stories are helping. As I read them, I feel a heavy sadness and wonderment at the lingering power of ‘the trance’ to protect from unwanted truths.
I have been surprised also by how much has been stirred in me by the humanity coming through this exchange. I have been gripped with an achey grief about it all, something I thought I had thoroughly worked through long ago, but now it goes deeper.
I have been away awhile here, catching up, I want to share with you a few things that have happened in the past two weeks since I first encountered this site.
1) For the first time, I actually felt the kick-in-the-gut wrenching of having been lied to the first ten years. Not that I haven’t known about the lies, not that I haven’t been furious with myself and raged at Robert –in group, in therapy, to myself about so many things, especially in the early days after leaving — not that others here haven’t stated the same things I am about to say with more passion and eloquence, but after the way it has hit me this time, I just want to express my outrage to Robert here for this record:
How dare you lie to us? I believed you, I trusted you, I listened to you, I worked for you, I supported you, I influenced others on your behalf — I represented you to my shame, you, the celibate, heterosexual, loving, conscious being.
How dare you lie to me and other mere children in the name of ‘God’. Why? to have your way, to satisfy your appetites — mostly, I am afraid, to fuel your delusions. I have a 21-year old daughter now, and know how young, how green, how impressionable we are in the early 20’s.
2) With this has also come a wave of intense self-hatred: The voice goes: How could I be so blind, so naive, so susceptible to narcissistic manipulation? How could I waste my life, throw away the most productive years and misuse my talents and gifts? How could I let myself be used for a corrupt, even criminal enterprise, supporting addictive, harmful behavior and helping to keep the whole thing going with my energy, my money and my work, how could I not have noticed what was going on, how could I have unknowingly continued to procure new student victims with a smile on my face (any Portland, Paris, NY students who are still in FoF, it pains me to hear your names mentioned and to realize you are still there), all along imagining myself to be something special, evolved, turning away from whisperings of sexual misconduct, continuing to look only at the ‘work’, and never, never at Robert, allowing myself to be enthralled to the charisma, the thrill of contact and attention from ‘the teacher’.
3) I have also felt more deeply, as reconnections are made here with old familiar names and voices, the extent of the loss involved in having been ex-communicated from people I had known for 20 years of my life, how stiffling it has been to a huge part of myself to be involved in a gag-order of the first degree, to have a small army of old friends holding me as ‘fallen, moon food’. The cruelty involved hits me more fully now.
4) Meanwhile, I have recalled some things that have helped me make sense of it all along the way. Things that have helped me to forgive myself and other victims, even to experience compassion for the predator side of RB, to realize I have both predator and victim in myself, and so on.
I pulled out “Trauma and Recovery” by Judith Herman again. While published in 1992, I still find it helpful in understanding how the experience in FoF was an experience of psychological captivity (See Cpt 6 and the chapter on child/domestic abuse, the similarities to closed religious environments are striking. The sections on rape I believe could be helpful to those who were/are involved with him). Peter Levine’s “Waking the Tiger” also may be helpful in understanding and resolving the mental/ neurological/emotional aftermath of long-term FoF membership.
The explanation of symptoms concomitant with complex chronic trauma (denial, numbing/ dissociation,and intrusion of traumatic memory) have helped me understand the state of mind that allowed me and so many others to remain in this scarey environment for as long as we did and still not be able to SEE what are now the most obvious things.
5) I also have found myself asking again: what was my part? Soul-searching, asking, who in me attracted Robert Burton? And as of today here is what I come up with: an innocent, trusting, dependent, child-like part of myself, a powerless someone who is afraid of the big world, insecure in herself, someone who wants to believe somebody out there knows the answers, is powerful and can shelter me.
I don’t recall who said it, (and not that I believe in ‘evil’), but the saying makes a point that I begin to understand: Innocence attracts evil, perhaps needs evil to grow into maturity, into wisdom. The ignorance of naivite seems to me now only a part human state, for which we cannot absolve ourselves of responsibility. Apparently some of us need the RBs of the world to shake us out of this innocence into a fuller humanity. (In no way does this possibility absolve him of his responsibility, of course).
___________________________________
Thank you to Susan K (hello, Susan!) for #192 and your suggestion there for anyone leaving now, and I would say any long-time members, to get help in dealing with the trauma aspects of FoF. The effects do linger.
Bruce, your postings make me laugh, they contain what I always have enjoyed about you — a blunt certainty, saying it like it is, that seems completely congruent with who you are, special appreciation for
#344.
To whomever is the PAIN BODY proponent, I think that the idea (explicated in “Power of Now”) is one of the most amazingly useful I have ever encountered, so helpful for disempoweing an entire range of habitual, draining emotional states. I LOVE the idea, pure genius, I believe.
Thank you for reading.
Sandra
May 9, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Cake please Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 10:13 am
my mystical experience
It was a dinner, outside, heavy, full bodied September. I think the table was glass by then. Facing the rose garden, a small party, maybe twelve. Those who I remember were two prominent American students, a wonderful French student who kept apologizing because he was involved in munition manufacture, a beautiful solar maybe with saturn from Berlin. I still remember his name after all these years.
During the dinner, we talked about salmon in some esoteric sense. Which was of great interest to me, coming from a place where they (salmon) are a part of our psyche, In fact, this shy girl even commented.
The two American students recounted a ice cream eating contest they had taken part in that involved the teacher. Doesn’t sound quite right, I remember thinking. Oh well.
The dinner ended. My dress had pockets, I slipped my hands inside, maybe out of nervousness. It was a no-no at the time, the no hands in pockets exercise. I felt Robert touch my hand, was it a gentle photograph or what seemed a gesture of affection? No matter. A kiss to the forehead. We were on our way.
We walked back to the Lodge / now Apollo D’Oro. We three, the French student, the solar from Berlin and myself. It was dark by then and the stars were collapsing upon us. The German student talked about how bourgeois the best of the best American students were.
But words started to have no meaning, It was already happening. This state. I think but cannot know, was happening to all three of us.
This magical state of not wanting. Euphoric. Perfection had found us. The moment, this moment was all and everything. So full it brought you to your knees.
To be on this gravel road, in the dark and so cold with these two strangers was all you ever wanted or needed.
We wandered about the Lodge like masts. Wanting neither food nor drink. It was what it was and it was good, so good. Eventually we were scooped up by our respective countrymen.
It has reverberated within me ever since. I have no doubt (emphasis no doubt) it was because of Robert. It shocks me how indebted to him I feel for those few mystical hours. Never duplicated after excruciating effort or suffering for that matter.
II also know how far I would have gone to experience that again. Nothing to do with consent or guns. Only magic. Virtue here by lack of opportunity.
But now, not connected to my teacher by either proximity, gender or a myriad of other things must I finally be responsible for my own spirituality, states and life, finding my own magic.
Kind of glorious isn’t it.
Siddiq, referencing a post early on here, feeling sorry for someone and having compassion are definitely not the same thing, One is a wall the other a door.
Best to all
Cake
May 9, 2007 at 6:57 pm
Fellow Traveller Says:
May 3rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
The criteria for a genuine spiritual teaching according to Selim Aissel:
(taken from the website http://www.epag.org)
flee those who demand unconditional obedience to themselves or to their representatives or assistants.
There is no such demand in FoF
flee those who require you to cut yourself off from your family or social relationships.
There is no such demand in FoF
flee those who prohibit you from seeing the people you want.
There is no such demand in FoF
flee organisations that demand large sums of money.
There is no such demand in FoF
flee organisations that display their luxury and wealth.
There is no such display in FoF
flee those who deprecate other ways.
There is no such deprecation in FoF
flee those who acknowledge their own teaching alone as valid.
There is no such acknowledgement in FoF
flee those who teach you to neglect your family, professional, or social life in order to benefit their organisation.
There is no such teaching in FoF
flee those who make a rule out of limiting sleep and restricting your diet, and teach you all kinds of methods that make you physically weaker.
There is no such rule or teaching in FoF
flee those who judge and condemn.
Avoiding judgment is a central part of FoF teaching (plenty of judgement on this blog, however)
flee those who require you to believe instead of to understand and verify.
There is no such requirement in FoF; quite the opposite actually.
flee those who require you to confess.
There is no such requirement in FoF.
flee those who make you believe you are guilty.
FoF works hard to free students of guilt.
flee those who lack a sense of humor.
There is no such lack in FoF
flee those who employ threats or fear.
In 25 years in FoF I’ve never been threatened by anyone or intimidated by anyone in FoF
flee those who only talk about spirituality without really practicing it.
FoF is all about practice.
flee those who promise Heaven after death (especially if you pay them!).
There is no promise of Heaven after death in FoF. And if there was, it is not verifiable during life, so irrelevant.
flee those who promise Hell if you don’t convert.
There is no such promise or “conversion” in FoF
flee those who divide principles and people into good and bad.
There is no such division in FoF. Quite a lot on this blog, however.
flee those who adopt stereotyped attitudes, ways of talking, sitting, dressing, and moving.
Imitation is an inescapable part of life inside and outside FoF.
flee those who take themselves to be prophets or messiahs.
RB has never claimed to be either a prophet or messiah.
flee those who often change teachings and teachers.
Like many on this blog?
flee those who envy each other.
I’m not too bothered by them myself. Are they that important that they have to be fled?
flee those who compete with each other or with other organisations.
There is no such competition in FoF. Competition is a tactic of the king of clubs and FoF doesn’t hold much truck with that card, as you know.
flee those who only practice within their organisation and not outside of it.
You mean ex-students?
flee those who claim that they understand everything and have nothing left to learn.
As longtime appreciators of Socrates, FoF students don’t suffer from this one.
May 9, 2007 at 7:23 pm
She didn’t just play the flute but when she played, she knew her music. There was a time in which I could see her volunteering to work in every potager and event. She’d run around tirelessly as if imbued with divine enegy and I stared with envy. She had something I had long lost and if I could find it again I would try to copy her but I couldn’t find it, not even in her divinity, obvious as it was.
How many years had I not spent working with similar impulse to not know that it was energy for its own sake. Not that her effort wouldn’t be returned but not by the Fellowship. I knew that too well.
“One is not to work with expectations of return” said the echo of fellowship dogma; “effort, more effort,” that they’d stolen from Ouspensky; give all your being in exchange for nothing; “have no expectations”; why would you “when we are all beggers?”
Plant but never expect to eat from the crop. There’s only one mouth here. An insatiable void.
In every one’s willingness to give themselves up for the whole, we are denied from receiving back from the whole. The greatness of the crop is mutilated from our possibilities and our hope, our love, our integrity……dries up.
May 10, 2007 at 6:38 am
(3/53) FoF Discussion
Inner Jewels Says:
March 13th, 2007 at 6:41 am
Once more into the fray!
When I left the school (the second time) a student asked me, “so, how does it feel to fall back into sleep?” Then she smiled haughtily at me. I was stunned into silence. How can one respond to such arrogance coming from someone you once considered a friend? Surely even the die-hard FOFers can admit that awakening has nothing to do with flagrantly putting oneself above others and yet, and yet, isn’t that what the dogma of the FOF is built upon?: We are the chosen ones. This is the only conscious school, etc. etc. We all know the lines and some of us, on the inside and on the outside, say we never believed it. I experienced the untruth of that statement for myself when, after the first time I left, at 19, I had to confront the fears that tore at me from the edges of my consciousness, like some horrible Bosche painting, whispering that perhaps I had, in fact, lost my soul. And I had lost so much. I had lost the ability to be as close to my mother as I wished. I had lost so many fine friends who shared a passion for evolving. I had lost the theater, the concerts, the fine dinners, the orchard. But after the dust settled and the fears dissipated, I came to realize I had gained the most important thing: my own upward beating heart; my own capacity to meet these momentary days and joyfully add myself to the count. You see, I left the first time because my “work I’s’ had run amuck—I had become a talking head, sounding quite nice and spouting work ideas but disconnected from my heart, my body, my dreams. “Life” had mistakenly been discarded in place of my very real desire to grow internally. It took my many years, going back in and back out to come to realize that awakening is not inner vs. outer nor is it a solitary effort; That spiritual work isn’t necessarily contrary to “material” existence. I believe in my heart that when any of us raise our awareness, raise our conscious desire to speak/look/feel love in and for this moment and everything it contains, we lift the entire world with us, closer to the heart of God. I know too, the good of the FOF– I feel it in my dear mama’s heart and in her kind and strong husband. I’ve tasted the beauty of it, and I will always feel the sadness of exclusion, of being on the outside (as long as the FOF keeps the walls up;). But I was excited and even thrilled when I learned that this forum had erupted into existence. Not because I wanted to see anyone hurt or taken down –or out, but because I truly believe that we can all help each other, that we do help each other, every time we open our eyes, open our hearts and speak our truths with an intention to evolve. My truth isn’t the same as anyone else’s, and that’s the beauty of it. We are all on our own adventure, together—what joy! —and we can learn so much, if we truly allow the “other” in.
I’m sorry to say, though, that the tone here has changed. What happened? From my cursory scanning it seems a big bad cry baby heaved a cannon ball of negativity in here and lot’s of people (not toeing the line that is) scrambled. Sure I’m for the expression of differing truths but those are truths with a small “t”–not THE ALMIGHTY TRUTH WHICH I WILL BANG OVER YOUR HEAD TILL YOU ACKNOWLEDGE IT. Reading CB’s post reproduced that sickening feeling that I discovered when I tried to explain the FOF to a friend around the second time I left. I had to ask myself: How could I be a part of something that made me feel sick to my stomach when describing the behavior of the teacher? (And don’t tell me I don’t know by personal experience a little about the suffering RB is causing; I dated some of his boys and I heard first-hand about their struggle to confront him, provoking a powerful negativity when they dared to refuse RB’s demands). I apologize for commenting on CBs post as everyone is, no doubt, a bit weary of the back and forth. But I wanted it to be pointed out simply and clearly: CB’s post reeks of precisely what is so wrong with the FOF. No, not everyone in it feels that way but if you don’t, and you’re still in it, I hope you have the courage to confront that kinds of ugliness, wherever and whenever it appears. I didn’t join the school for RB but I definitely left it because of him. And even if, as has been implied, his behavior acts as a kind of filter ensuring only the really serious ones get in and stay in, well then that is quite a dangerous little truth to build one’s life upon…Personally, I don’t want to close my eyes to what sickens me, I want to look clearly at myself and what surrounds me and do my part to lift it up and in. I have my own sexual deviancies, but thank god don’t have a budget! and RB has provided a powerful lesson of where NOT TO GO.
Another student recently wrote me that if I ever get disappointed enough in “life,” she hopes I’ll return to the FOF. How subtly that sentence evoked a sickening feeling in me again—I have not been able to respond to her so perhaps I am as spineless as CB accused. But I think, rather, it is that I don’t care to respond. I am content to find my own touchstone, deep inside my own true life experience. I have come to trust my body, my heart, and my mind, to guide me where I can continue to evolve. (I had a barely English speaking Latino busboy remind me to be present in LA; clearly, the FOF has no monopoly on that!) I have found a wonderful dance work (5Rhythms, there’s a class in GV/NC if you want to dance yourself free) to practice being present IN my body, through my feelings, not by splitting off from them. I have several wonderful friends who I feel are evolving, I can see it in their eyes, I can feel it in their loving presence. And who knows, maybe someday I will rejoin the Fellowship, but that day could only come if and when RB lays down his instrument of pleasure/torture and admits he’s got a problem (hey, don’t we all?) or at least stops making his students pay royally for it, when all the spiritual tyrants like CB go bury themselves somewhere else in steaming piles of their own negativity…and I’m optimistic –or is it naïve?– enough to hope for that day…a day when I can walk freely with my mama again, through the orchards and the vines, around the ponds and the gravestones… and hold her hand as she holds mine, laughing and free (not that the FOF could EVER take that away from us, we have our ways—once a merc, always a…well you know)….
And so I leave you all with this wish, for the FOF, and for every city in this troubled nation and every town across the globe:
I dream’d in a dream I saw a city invincible to the attacks of the whole
of the rest of the earth,
I dream’d that was the new city of Friends
Nothing was greater there than the quality of robust love, it led the rest,
It was seen every hour in the actions of the men [and women] of that city,
And in all their looks and words.
Walt Whitman
May 10, 2007 at 6:40 am
Aspects of Indoctrination
Excerpts from
George Orwell says on 3/50
His words reflect a current mood or feeling – they don’t reflect the way things really are. To deal with the contradictions, students had to change their relationship to language and truth.
Another example: Great prophecies were intoned and failed. Most students say they ‘didn’t care’. But it did have the effect of teaching them again not to expect the truth, not to expect that words mean anything. Words are used as a mood-enhancer, or background — like Muzak, or wallpaper.
After all, as one of the organization’s foremost professional angle-givers says, ‘We cannot know the truth at our level.’ But surely, since Ouspensky defines the work as ‘the study of lying’, they ought to try. And certainly they might begin by photographing lying, for starters.
One way to observe lying is to watch what a man says, and how he lives. But no! That’s his ‘private life’, his ‘own stuff’, and therefore exempt, they say. But that is nevertheless his being. Without looking at his being, they are left examining his knowledge – usually that means his words. The words from which, paradoxically, they have come to expect nothing anyway. Hence, they have created an inescapable mobius loop and, as an unfortunate by-product, a class of professional angle-givers – people whose lives in no way reflect the elevated words that they speak so prolifically, but whose words continue to ‘inspire’, whatever they might mean (they are, after all, only a pick-me-up). Some of these angle-givers circle the globe, talking, talking, talking.
They no longer how to look at words attentively and critically. Hence, as others have pointed out, the Fellowship organization can send out emails calmly promising to protect their privacy while setting about to violate it. As I pointed out in my landmark essay, words are not selected for meaning, but used in prefabricated phrases and clichés (‘precious teaching,’ ‘beloved teacher,’ ‘willoftheteacher,’ ‘formoftheschool,’ ‘task has ended,’ ‘we thank thee’) meant to convey an ambiance rather than express a thought or feeling as clearly as possible. In some cases, words are used to hide meaning, or convey the opposite of what they mean – ‘opportunity’ means ‘job’ or ‘friction’.
And so people here are trying to discern truth when they have lost all standards for truth and any taste for fact – the truth that we can know, the simple facts that are knowable
“The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.”
“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.”
May 10, 2007 at 6:42 am
Keith Says:
March 11th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
When we give up the right to live from the dictates of our hearts by separating from those feelings of shame and remorse as if they were just ordinary negative emotions, we give up the chance to act and live from what is good in us, the highest parts of ourselves. We need to become ordinary before we can become anything else.
“In comparison with sleeping people dead people are very strong, because they have no conscience and no shame. What makes ordinary people weak? Conscience and shame.” The Fourth Way pg. 435
“the deliberate and often official killing of individual judgement and conscience constitutes crime on such a large scale that it becomes invisible, and men cannot even imagine living under any other conditions.”
“it is human sleep and sleep only-the wish not to see things as they are-which makes men ignore the clear warnings of corruption before its work begins.” The Theory of Celestial Influence pg. 192-193
In order for the process of healing to begin a person must recognize the process of corruption occuring and say no to it.
Thanks to Vena, Innernaught, Reality Check, devoted reader, Simon, Rita, Traveler, Truth is where, Kid Shelleen, Having Been There, Inconvenient Truth, Inner Jewels. BBB, Anonymous, Medusa, Cathie, Voice of One and all the rest for insightful, painful, humorous and thought provoking postings. It is amazing to find so many like minded people in one place.
keith.46@hotmail.com
May 10, 2007 at 6:43 am
3/12
Anonymous Says:
March 11th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Little Lamb in Post #336:
I know a woman who casually described Robert’s relationship with her husband as “date rape.” She isn’t disaffected; she’s close to Robert.
I know another woman whose husband was “with” Robert. She said: “To take a man from one off the poorest countries in the world, offer him a green card if he’ll submit, or else you’ll throw him back into the poverty from which he sprang, to call that a ‘free choice’ is cynical in the extreme.”
I know some stories as wild or wilder than some of the stories told here.
The mark of mature and loving sexuality is the wish for free and full of consent from your partner. Not someone who is tricked, deceived, drunk or paid for.
May 10, 2007 at 6:46 am
In the six processes Rodney Collin writes: “A man must speak and act as he thinks to stay mentally healthy…if not expressed can make terrible inroads on the whole physical and moral- well being of a man….”
“When we regard ourselves in the many situations life brings, we find that from first breath to last we are conditioned by external factors. Yet is that highest freedom left to us–to perfect ourselves within, so as that we shall come into harmony with the moral world order and attain peace with ourselves, no matter what obstacles may emerge. This is easily said and written, yet it is no more than a goal before us, to the achievement of which we must thouroughly dedicate ourselves. Every day challenges us to do what is to be done and expect whatever is possible.”
Johann Goethe
May 10, 2007 at 7:18 pm
It is in the intimacy of a marriage that a man and a woman can know where they are in relation to their own self, for a marriage is the reflection of two inner worlds, just as a community is the reflection of the couples’ relation to each other. An individual’s integrity reflects on the integrity of his/her marriage and the integrity of his/her marriage, reflects on the integrity of his/her community.
In the way of life, the aim for the community as much as for the individual is to balance the inner life with the external life, and marriage, work and play
express the state of that balance.
The consciousness of an individual is expressed in his capacity to extend his hand out to the last child, animal or tree in his community and the consciousness of the community is expressed in the community’s capacity to embrace everything living within its boundaries, as much as each object that belongs to it.
Where ever there is neglect, the state of consciousness will reveal itself. On objects or people. There is no consciousness in neglect.
The aim of each human life is to expand this all embracing consciousness. Sleep or unconsciousness, expresses itself where each and all individuals are called to work. Work, all kinds of work, are the attempt of each human life to expand consciousness.
Play is the expression of an individual’s and a community’s state of conscious health. Love intertwines itself in both play and work, within the marriage and the community.
Life, “living,” is the game and the work of tuning the inner and the outer world. The individual’s balance between himself and his community, through his marriage. The inner relationship with himself balanced with his personal relationship in his marriage balanced with his objective relationship with his community. Where ever there is neglect there is inbalance. The harmony between them is what creates music. Noise shows the disharmony. This is the same idea of the three lines of work in experiential language.
Social orders express the state of mankind’s being and the most retrograde and pervasive idea ever presented by the Fellowship of Friends is that humanity is not in an ongoing upward and spiritual development. With that, it justifies all the horrors within and without itself.
A monarchy is an expression of mankind’s being and a democracy, a very different expression of that same being. The “kingdom” expresses the state in which the majority of individuals are not mature enough to assume responsibility for their surrounding and require the guidance of the priest king, who gives up his will to the people. The monarchy, is a further expression of that same struggle but where the priest has disappeared the individual human being, has appeared. In a democracy, even the king has disappeared and the individual has matured enough to assume responsibility for its mistakes and continue struggling for self determination without external impositions by any other authority different to his own self.
The Fellowship of Friends is an experiment in this struggle and its failures and achievements can be seen when looked through this prism.
At the beginning Robert was one with the rest and did not impose exercises. As soon as he started imposing exercises, he became the priest-teacher and continued descending to become the priest- dictator of every possible action within the fellowship, suffocating the student’s free will.
The difference between a king and a dictator is that the King is the expression of the community’s will, while the dictator is the expression of the community’s submission. In human societies, the dictator imposes his will in the body of the individuals. In cults, the priest-dictator imposes his will both on the body and the soul of the individual, thwarting the possibility of their inner development as much as the development of a conscious community. This is spiritual crime.
There is no place for self determination of the soul or the body of a human being in a cult and it can survive only for as long as idolatry can hold it in place. Both the soul and the body of the participants are submitted to the will of the dictator through idolatry, which is the phenomenon in which an individual gives up his own sense of worth to anothers, submitting willingly to his dictates.
While in the original kingdom structures, the king-priest submitted his self to the people, and hence the “nobility” of the form, in the dictatorship the people submit themselves to the dictator and give up their will or possibility of self determination both in the inner and external world, hence the “humiliation” of the form. As long as people are willing to humiliate themselves before another man, idolatry and cults will continue to exist.
People confuse “humbling” themselves to another for “humiliating” themselves before another. While there is a noble gesture in humbleness, humiliation is the degradation that comes with idolatry.
In the Fellowship of Friends students are consistently humiliated by Robert by each and every form that the cult has adopted.
By his neglect to address students individually, to “communicate,” to use the “verb”, the “word”, with which individuals acknowledge each other’s being, and allow themselves to grow in love, Robert submits students to humiliation and conditions them to idolatry en mass as the only form of interaction between them.
Nothing can show more neglect of another person’s being than the unwillingness to communicate verbally. It is the negative expression of “indifference” and what it is saying is “you are not good enough to even consider you, to address you, you are lower than I am, you are not worth my time, my being. You are not worth sharing with as an individual and you must submit to being addressed as a lower person with the rest, “en mass”.”
People can only bear with this humiliation when they justify it with idolatry but it is spiritual crime in as much as it is not willing to acknowledge another person’s being, which is the most elementary form of respect.
Other forms of humiliation or spiritual crime are extensively practiced in the Fellowship of Friends.
While differences in hierarchy are not established through “titles” amongst the generality of students, the difference in status is established amongst other ways, by the use of clothing. Psychologically, Robert maintains students “lower” status, with the ‘court’ that he surrounds himself with, that is served with special attention where ever it appears reminding the rest of students that they have less rights than he himself and the court around him has and the “court” are a poor bunch of young men who are sexually abused and as submitted as the rest of the students with the exception of an Asaf or a Girard to make it look legitimate but who, in the long run are willing to adopt the same acts that Robert adopts.
The dress code, in which only he and his court can afford to dress like kings, reinforces the humiliation
of the mass of students and establishes that it is not your spiritual being that is significant in the Fellowship but your monetary income that can prove your worth. The students with high income of the Fellowship show that if you have enough money you can be addressed by the teacher, not your heart but your pocked that is welcome for a more intimate work relationship. The young people are used to make it look legitimate and because in Robert’s weird deviation, he cannot bear older, uglier people, his “alchemy” is a form of his slavery to his personal conditioning.
The humiliating forms within the Fellowship continues to act in the determination by the cult dictator of the way people must run their lives. The imposition on the kind of work that people can do within the Fellowship, the kind of activities that are allowed for them to practice and the way in which they are to interact with each other are each and all, forms of coercion to the will of its participants.
While this is justified with the idea that it is a School with the guidance of a teacher, the inconsistencies in the multiple inner and external aspects of the lives of the teacher as much as the students, and the denigrating relationship between them, reveals the Cult and the lack of School. The humiliating neglect of individuals; the denigrating incapacity of the School to assume responsibility for its children and old people or for that matter, anyone but Robert; the practice of sexual abuse; of consistent failures of marriages, friendships, the inexistence of spontaneous joy or play; the suicides amongst students and student’s children as much as the multiple forms of illnesses, show the lack of consciousness of anything that could come even close to calling itself a “School of consciousness.”
A Cult or a spiritual Dictatorship is the expression of Spiritual Crime.
CS”.
May 10, 2007 at 8:42 pm
dick moron Says:
May 8th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
to Whalerider re #231:
You do not need to produce physical evidence to be believed. Blake said: “Truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believed”
GOlb and others who have responded to your stories with doubt, are probably professional defenders and lackies of RB, who have built their status and pathetic careers within FOF by eloquently denying or justifying any “funny business”. They know the truth of your story–they probably were in the same position(s) as you in their younger days.
Many of those who submitted, even just once or twice, to RB’s “desires” and then acted like it was a wonderful thing, or, more often, simply kept quiet and continued in their devotion and service to the FOF, were “taken care of” by RB from then on. This ususally took the form of perks and gifts. Fully paid “Traveling preacher” trips to Europe or other exotic centers. Golf trips to Palm Springs. Some were set up with “important” roles within the FOF hierarchy, drawing salaries(while still paltry by “life” standards) that were many times greater than the standard FOF salary. Some have been probably been assisted in setting up businesses, art studios and little wineries around Oregon House. One method was to have expenses and purchases deducted from teaching payments. Others, had businesses and never had to make teaching payments. There were many creative approaches to rewarding the loyal.
Those who chose not to stay around Oregon House, still were rewarded with attention, expensive dinners at fine restaurants with RB and more gifts.
I know this, because, I was one of this group. I was basically silent at meetings and stopped attending them entirely 5 years before I left. I was never a center director and generally scorned the directors in the centers where I lived when I left Oregon House. I had no need for them as I had a direct line to the teacher himself. He would always answer my phone calls. I was RB’s loyal friend, who would usually be invited to dinner etc. when he was in town. I would run errands for him in NY and call him if I found a particularly exotic big bottle of wine for him to purchase. I monitored the auctions of some of the bland old master painting collected at the time. My one-bedroom apartment was always available for entourage members to stay at. One of RB’s secretaries actually made a set of keys to my place without telling me, so he could let himself in.
At Oregon House (I use the town name because I cannot keep up with all the name changes of “The Farm”) there were the gatherings to watch football and basketball games, where RB would often invite one of his new “projects”. I now realize that my being there with a couple of other “old-timers” helped create a relaxed and normal appearing environment, where the “guys” rooted for the home team, drank lots of beer and actually casually conversed and made jokes with RB. So, while there was no intent by me, I was no doubt a part of the scheme of manipulation that eventually ended up in the bedroom for some of the naive new guests. I participated, mainly because I liked the attention and had developed a taste for the finer things in life like wine, good food and comfort. Basically I was taking care of my instinctive center like all the rest.
Since I left FOF about 10 years ago, I have heard the excuse of some of my friends who remain in FOF, that they stay mainly for the social structure of friends and community and that deep down inside they feel RB is full of it. They have no where to go if they left, or no financial security. Again, the instinctive center ruling one’s life.
Some advice to any of those old friends who might read this: Your simply remaining a member who still looks RB in the eye and smiles around him, makes you an accessory to his lie. Get up off your asses and make some real effort to live in truth.
So, Whalerider, I apologize to you if we knew each other back then and I anyway supported an environment that led to your painful experiences. Truthfully, my conscience WAS telling me to speak up or just run, but my ego and lazy instinctive center managed to rule until I finally found strength.
I hope that writing and sharing your terrifying experiences with others on this Blog is helpful. I never thought that it would have been as cleansing for me as it has.
I hope you can continue to find peace with your past and use it to become stronger and wiser in the present.
May 10, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Ames Gilbert Says:
May 8th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
‘Catching up’ with the blog after a few days…
To Innernaught (# 264), thanks for reading. But, I was speaking 4th Wayspeak, another language, just like French, to 4th Wayers. I was referring to thoughts recorded in 1993-96. I certainly do not claim this is my ‘native’ language. Regardless, I try to separate the message from the messenger. And to this day, the 4th way explains some things (especially natural law) better than any other pattern I have met. Since my DNA makes me helplessly curious about so much, I enjoy myself immensely solving perceived riddles! And I reckon that if I don’t enjoy myself (as an interesting stranger and in every other way) and life itself, I’m simply chucking away my birthright.
To Shaman (# 272). I assume you are asking the questions in good faith, and I will answer likewise. I think a practical way of looking at what makes a rich and satisfying life might be: eight hours of the day is spent sleeping (first state). Ten hours is spent grooming, earning a living, recharging, resting, and so on. The other six hours can be set aside as follows, the proportions depending on the individual person, but for me: 2 hours working on things that please myself. Two hours on raising my own food or otherwise in contact with nature, including being a steward of ‘my’ land. Two hours on things that benefit my community. These are just averages. This way of looking at the lines of work I got from the Nearings, but they were able to devote four hours each to the last three, since they were ‘self-sufficient’ and didn’t have to go outside their farmstead to earn a living. So, this is a bare minimum. If you can extend the ‘lines’ into the “earning a living” segment, meaning you are doing worthwhile work that suits you and dignifies you, whatever that means to you, you are in the minority—be grateful! If you are not, look for such a living if possible. But I’ve found some of the jobs in my career have depended on my attitude; a few were unbearable, but most could be changed for the better by adjusting my internal state, looking for opportunities to learn, to make friends, make common cause, make light.
Whether this affects ‘evolution’, I don’t know. I no longer think in those terms. But I do know, for myself, that the ideas of balance are true for me if I am to enjoy my life and live it more fully. There has to be time for oneself beyond food and sleep, developing one’s interests and talents, whether it is ‘philosophizing’ or anything else. There has to be time to ‘give back’ to the community in which we are in, and engaging with other people always brings unexpected rewards. There has to be time to be with nature—we are her creatures—and exchange energies, from feeling the rich soil our bodies are soon to return to, to trimming the woodlot (supplying intelligence where the fecundity of nature threatens to overwhelm). All these lines can be done with mindfulness, gratitude and wonder.
I’m grateful for the work of all kinds I did in the FOF, but I felt that the ‘selfish’ turn of second and third line of work was unhealthy—for me. That is, most third line was developing the FOF property and possessions, most second line was just with other students (and rather limited at that), and so on. In a Parallel Universe (#332) has pointed this out beautifully in his post. The FOF as an organism cutting itself off from essential energies of the outside world has bred stagnancy. Engaging with the whole world brings continual refreshment and health.
With warm regards,
Ames
May 10, 2007 at 8:48 pm
John Says:
May 8th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
On “brainwashing”
Looking at Robert Jay Lifton’s study on “brainwashing” I would like to make some parallels with the Fellowship that others might find useful.
In his idea of Milieu control, it says:
“The basic feature of the thought reform environment, the psychological current upon which all else depends, is the control of human communication”.
In the Fellowship this is done by institutionalizing what one must think, read or talk about as much as with whom, where and when.
The control of communication in the separation from “life” or the outside world couldn’t be more aggressive with statements like “life being the six million dead people outside of the fellowship”.
Students have been given the exercise to not read newspapers and many life books, influence b, books and it is suggested that we read only what the teacher is publishing and researching on.
The aim is not so much to enlighten students, as to keep them from reading, thinking and talking about their own inner life because their own inner life is labelled the ‘lower self’. It is very smart programming because it disguises itself with being a noble enterprise between students and while there is nothing wrong in these readings, what is extremely harmful is that the students are not given any opportunity to express and validate their own interests, inner life, search, understandings and struggles.
The treatment of life families as “biological families”, increases the separation and students become more emotionally and intellectually, as well as instinctively dependent on the Fellowship.
In their “inner life”, students are told that every thing they think or feel are just I’s, ten thousand idiots, nothing is worth the effort except mindlessness. This is justified by the acquisition of an enlightened state beyond functions: presence
But the milie control in the Fellowship is also given by the form of the school in any of its aspects. The simple imposition of the way people should dress is a basic arrest on the individual’s feeling for his own self expression. While this is done with the justification that dressing beautifully makes people make more effort about themselves, it also takes the aspect of programming that self expression is given up to the collective will.
The only ones with individual will accepted in the Fellowship are Robert, Girard, Asaf and the few chosen ones by Robert. The rest of the students are expected to give up their will to Robert and are then told that they are more awake by doing so in meetings. “You are all present now. Together we are more awake”
Giving up the individual will is justified by the old form of teacher-student relationship but there is no teacher-student relationship in the Fellowship and the individual will is expected to be given up to a collective will in which the only thing that is demanded from the student is that he refrains from expressing himself, his interests or wishes and pays money to be able to participate in every event. It is the money that determines the student’s participation in the school, not the will he gives up. The student is programmed to give up his/her will so that he continues to pay without questioning the form.
Lifton: “Such milieu control never succeeds in becoming absolute; and its own human apparatus can -when permeated by outside information- become subject to discordant “noise” beyond that of any mechanical apparatus. To totalist administrators, however, such occurrences are no more than evidences of ‘incorrect” use of the apparatus. For they look upon milieu control as a just and necessary policy, one which need not be kept secret”
In the Fellowship, the master mind which has kept the “milieu control” without serious questioning is mostly Girard Haven with his artistry in returning all questions and obstacles into forms that students cannot argue with and still remain in the school.
Ideas such as:
Since Robert is a man number seven and the rest of us are barely men number four we cannot question him because we do not have the being.
This angle by Girard or others in the inner circle have two aims, wether they do it consciously or unconsciously. One is to justify the separation between students and Robert and with it all of Robert’s inability to have simple direct contact with individual students and the other is to put students into a frame of mind about themselves that they are inferior beings, that they do not have the being to question the dissonances.
In both Girard’s and Robert’s behavior we have consistently seen how they are unable to relate to individuals in a personal, normal, simple interaction. They keep themselves separated by an act of “good manners but stay away”, so they greet people, they may even kiss them or embrace them but it is clear that this is just a formality and that there is no direct human contact or acceptance or love in it. When they do establish direct relationships with people, sex mates or wives, they treat them as necessary objects that are not to be given more than a functional role. They disguise and justify this behavior by the assumption (which the Fellowship has made us all believe) that they are higher beings than the rest of the students, that they are busier, more important, have counted time, but what they are really saying is that who ever you are, you are not worth their time or their being. They put students in a lower state, condition, social status, so that they can continue to manipulate them intellectually, emotionally and instinctively. By doing so emotionally they do not need to force students like a dictator would have to do, students volunteer to serve them because they become emotionally identified.
At the same time it looks very legitimate because although they neglect to establish simple, spontaneous human contact, they have given their lives to serving students in made up situations, shows, such as meetings, dinners, events, in which they show themselves benevolent, loving, understanding and with this keep the emotional identification students have of a higher being, loving them. Girard’s commitment to Robert is the most inspiring force that has kept the Fellowship running.
When students can see the motives behind Robert to keep his role and Girard’s and Asaf’s to keep Robert’s and his own role, they will begin to understand how they’ve been “set up” by these men.
May 10, 2007 at 8:59 pm
No person Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 12:30 am
Dear Ames and others who left a while ago,
Yes the meetings have changed very strongly since you left. They change to the worst. Slowly, the life was choked out of them.
First (about 2 years ago or so) in the centers we were given paper quotes to read at meetings, to mix in with personal angles. Some quotes were beautiful sayings from prominent beeings. Soon quotes started to have “Robert’s comment” added, often unnecessary, bizarre and kind of made fit… Then images from various sources were added, also with “Robert’s comments” and often some Photoshop editing, also to make them fit his point. Personal angles were reduced to almost nothing – questions and personal observations were not encouraged. (to prevent law of accident, I guess, or – independent thinking). In some centers personal angles were completely banned for a while (in Russia, for example). The meetings become lifeless and uninspiring.
Then we were asked to maintain a steady eye contact with the speaker. Those who didn’t or forgot to do so were “photographed”. The reason for staring – to promote presence, of course. So the meetings turned into very rigid quote-interpretations readings with staring in each other eyes and passing the weird images around… It became very heavy and serious – no more laughing at meetings, no jokes, no “personal anecdotes” (observations, that is). It became really, really bad. No, it honestly did not promote presence, or any thinking, any exchange of thought – it was really sleep inducing, and very difficult to bear. It used to make one rather upset and frustrated more than anything else. Often students would confess, that this was a painful part to endure, but at least it was relatively quick and after the meeting you can have a glass of wine, relax and chat with a friend. But our “believers” really thought this was the best meeting format we ever had – totally controlled, serious, no fun allowed.. “We never had it so good!” Right, guys?
Lots and lots of students all over the world were unhappy with a “new form” and were complaining about it.
Soon in Isis the big meetings were completely stopped and instead not 1 but 2 Galleria meetings per week were introduced, both led by RB and Asaf. It was pre-staged quote-image-interpretation ping-pong exchange between two of them, with everyone staring in their eyes. No personal angles were allowed. Oh yes, these meetings also cost money, they are not free. The prices used to be $50 for standing, $100 for seated. Every performance gets filmed and then sold again in centers as a “Teaching video” for $10 per watching. You do the math.
Once when I was at Isis meeting something unexpected and funny happened, and everyone relaxed and started to laugh, even Asaf. It felt as if the “spell” was broken for a second and everyone became alive, like a breath of fresh air came to a stuffy room. And it was shocking to see how RB without any smile on his face suddenly got very intense and almost yelled: “Let’s continue, let’s continue! Look at me! Asaf!” His face was scary and very unkind in this moment – not his usual “nice” face. Within seconds everyone was quiet, glued to the next bizarre image and the hypnotic show continued. This was the first time I considered these meetings to have a hypnotic element, where everyone gets “inoculated” with new teaching no matter how mad and absurd… Before this episode I strongly rejected any notion of hypnosis or brainwashing during meetings.
It is amazing that people can tolerate this much crap force-fed to them AND pay money for this. How can anyone still believe in it – is a mystery. It’s not even esoteric ideas anymore, not a system, not anything one can possibly verify. RB counts and interprets or “keys” painted stuff like hairs in giraffe tails, 6 poops, penises, breasts, hands, mating scenes, counts wordless breaths, imagines endless battles between Steward and the devils, engages in weird numbers games that make no common sense.
This is all RB talks about these days, prolifically, at every meeting, and people go there and pay to hear this. It’s not 4th Way, not Gourjieff-Ouspensky, it’s RB’s own mad creation that requires faith, obedience and loss of critical thinking. Faithful “researchers” supply him with more material to decode and regurgitate, so the meetings “show” can go on. It’s like some strange decoding machine – everything it encounters is supposed to have deep meaning, and it’s all related to the sacred Sequence (this time around).
Please have some respect for yourselves, dear friends! When will you really see that this is only selfish madness, decadent and excessive, and quit supporting it? Open your eyes.
If you are generous – please donate to charity, help your neighbor, or a friend in need, or our environment, or local community – do something truly good, something kind, selfless, beautiful. Do not support a false teaching by an abusive dishonest leader – no matter how sweet he looks when he smiles to you.
SIncerely wishing everyone inner freedom and courage to see things as they truly are.
May 10, 2007 at 10:44 pm
So many wonderful posts are appearing on the blog that it is almost unnecessary to have another site collecting them. If this continues to prove the case, it may be unnecessary to keep a site like this one.
I’m posting a selection I’ve made with my own titles at the top of each one relating to the area I think is relevant in the post. There were other great posts that I didn’t select because they had more to do with the vibrant discussion on the blog than with the Fellowship of Friends.
I’m also just going to run all of them in one post to avoid extra work for the Sheik, see if this helps and this extra “site” and work proves itself worthwhile.
Elena
From blog 8/378
On Meetings
Ask yourself Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 8:42 am
To Siddiq (#361)
I agree with you, that the new form of the meetings at isis has been more effective than the meetings that were student lead. The latter were filled with anecdotes and quips, but what did you expect- the teacher had stopped teaching (or, stopped leading meetings). I also agree with you that the time and research that goes into preparing the meeting does produce some very fine quotes from a varity of sources and they are inspiring. However, it’s Robert’s comments or interpretations that trouble me.
The quotes from the various disciplines do seem to penetrate something “higher” in myself, but Roberts comments additions seem to create confusion and doubt.
Once, at a Christmas dinner, he mentioned how he had been visited by Jesus Christ the night before. What am I supposed to do with that info? Should I be impressed? Can I verify it?
At another dinner he mentioned how when he cups his hand to his ear, it’s not because he’s hard of hearing, it’s because it slows down his higher centers which operate at an extremely high speed. Again, what do I do with that info, regard him as a superman?
He stopped attending many of the Apollo Arts events because from the surface, it looked like he’d rather stay home and make a bunch of cash serving 150.00 dinners- where you can’t take a bite of food unless Robert takes a bite of food.
The “higher state” we all swear we have at dinners and meetings is most likely produced by being with 50-300 people that are making an effort to stay in Kings of centers. When in life are you EVER in a room with 50-300 people trying to stay in the kings? The answer is NEVER. That’s why we love the fellowship. It creates an environment you can’t find anywhere else. But at what price and with what long term result?
By the way, here’s a quote from the Theory of Conscious Harmony (pg 154). “Someone said to Ouspensky in 1947: ‘I know I am a machine and that I cannot work by myself.’ He answered:’who told you that? Do not believe anyone that tells you that.’”
3/79
Second line of work inside or outside the Fellowship
WhaleRider Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 9:49 am
I am going to squat to your level, exlax. I took responsibility for myself, and I got the bleep out of the FOF as soon as I was financially and emotionally able. The point is a person doesn’t just evaporate when they leave the FOF as RB would like them to. We are all accountable for our past. GOlb engaged in the standard FOF practice of emotional abuse and wrong work of centers by claiming I was an imaginary person, and I took that personally. Silly me! By the way, do YOU have a hammer toe, too? Amazing coincidence! They are so common, you know, mundane even! But it’s the new fashion now that I spilled the beans that RB has one. If I stepped on yours, I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any unnecessary suffering. It must have been my lower centers at work.
“…so STOP WINNING.” Brilliant! This is your conscience shining through your words. (You do have one!) What kind of second line work is that? I believe you meant, “whining”. To whine. Gee, but you wrote, “stop winning”. You want me to stop winning…? Hmmm, interesting, that’s kinda what I was saying about RB undermining anyone who comes close to his level due to his narcissism…maybe it’s rubbing off on you. Have you been near him lately? I’d be careful if I were you, especially if you are young, male, and naive, like I was, I hear he has herp…oops, I am so sorry again! We must refrain from gossip. Guess you are on your own, pal! (See how it works?)
Just because a person is clever, doesn’t make them a conscious being. I am not claiming to be clever, dear. Now that Karl Rove, he IS a clever dude; he helped a complete and utter idiot get into the White House twice. He fooled even more people that RB did. That’s pretty clever, don’t you think? He must be conscious then!
Yes, I am lucky. Darn lucky. FUCKING INCREDIABLY LUCKY I DIDN’T GET AIDS you twit, after all, this was back in 1984-5…nobody, not even his holiness knew much about HIV then. Brian S., now he was not so lucky. He died. He killed himself after hanging around RB. And Richard the hair dresser, he died, too. OF AIDS! So, yes, I am lucky. And I did grow up, thanks. I started living my life on my own. Good advice!
But if you don’t mind, dear, I’d like to continue at winning, thank you very much. I did aim higher. Why take the bus when you can fly?
*******************************************
On a completely different level:
Subway, it is what it is, but you weren’t there. I didn’t ask for your sympathy, how about some compassion? Ever learn a lesson the hard way?
Roommate, thank you for your acknowledgement, I am finding peace in my postings. I cried when I read your post. You saw me working through some pretty tough feelings. What’s your story?
Dick Moron, thank you for your support. I take great comfort in having my suffering acknowledged. It’s like I’ve discovered a room in my house that has been walled shut, and now that I opened it up and am airing it out, I can start to enjoy having more living/breathing space. Feels lighter…
Joseph G, thank you for your post, I remember you well. You speak from your being. You listened to your conscience, and took action. I admire that, it takes real courage.
WhaleRider
1979-1985
The Teacher
Cathie Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Traveler #374: “…the way Robert expresses himself through his ‘angles’ is closer to jack of diamonds than the fabled king of hearts? Very fragmented, black and white, run-on associations, not constructing a deeper understanding but seeing the same old thing in everything he encounters.”
Sounds closer to flat-out mental illness to me!There are some conditions that fall outside the center-of-gravity paradigm.
From what I’ve seen, if you’ve got to pin a center of gravity on him, put Robert squarely in the King of Clubs. AND he’s a Black Magician. In fact, “hasnamuss” might not be too far off either.
Labels. An easy game to play, supporting the illusion of understanding and predictability.
As for the exact timing of thought-prayers for healing…I don’t place too much importance on it. The energy is not time-bound or locality-bound. It’s an aspect of the eternal present. If such thought-transmission healing works (and it very well might), it works independently of space and time. What counts is intention and attention.
The Teacher
Comrade Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
Dear Howard (363), er, Siddiq (excuse me),
You realize, don’t you, that you are photographing your beloved Teacher for inner considering in post 363:
You wrote: “Your further response shows however that no matter what is done, ignoring or responding, there is not a good way for RB to deal with the blog as he will not be believed, even the best actions will have the worst motivations ascribed to them! That is no doubt why he doesn’t.”
Really? That’s your analysis? Wow, poor RB! Seems like you don’t have a lot of respect for the man to think his actions or inactions are motivated is such a petty way. Very interesting. I thought he was above all of that.
I was more inclined to believe that he just flat-out doesn’t care what you think, or what anyone thinks on this blog — that is, until the day what we think starts affecting cash flow or causing some of his young subjects to say “no.” Then, he will start to care. He has his objectives, and if you continue helping him attain those objectives, he will keep you around until, well, he’s more interested in something or someone else.
Anyway, keep up the good work. This page is packed with some of the best reading in the entire blog.
Rabbi Burns Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Siddiq (363): “there is not a good way for RB to deal with the blog as he will not be believed, even the best actions will have the worst motivations ascribed to them!”
This is a nonsensical response to post 332, which I believe was pointing out that if the FOF and Robert in particular could be more open to dialogue and questioning the FOF would be a much more healthy and effective organisation. At Adyashanti’s meetings, for example, anyone can stand up and ask anything. Adyashanti offers clear and effective answers, from a spiritual viewpoint, to pretty much anything that is thrown at him, simultaneously conveying a calm sense of presence and being. I’m not saying that Adyashanti is the teacher to end all teachers, just that he’s a lot better at it than Robert.
Imagine if we could ask Robert questions like: “I’ve been to see some Advaita teachers who suggest that spiritual awakening is connected to realising that we are already ever present awareness. Do you think this approach is useful or is it better to stick with the sequence?”. Then Robert explains clearly why the sequence is more effective.
Why doesn’t he do this? Because his teaching is ineffectual and exaggerated and if questioned would be clearly seen to be hollow. He’s afraid of questions so he doesn’t allow them. If what he is saying were true he would have no need to be afraid.
RB
On Higher States
No person Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Dear Cake,
You so beautifully describe the higher state. I can very much relate to your description of it.
But then you (IMO) made a very sad and common mistake, which so many of us made too – you connected your unusual experience to a person, RB, and it even made you feel “indebted” to him. I guess, the play did this trick to a lot of us – powerful higher states sometimes coincided with being near RB, so our minds made the connection, and we paid for years to get the state back by following a certain person. The whole FOF is fueled by this mistake. “Follow Him and he will make you feel good – again”. We developed an “addiction” to states -we wanted it back at all costs, ready to pay whatever for it. Again, something most of us have done.
I have to share with you that the longest and most amazing and profound hi-state (for 6 weeks or so, uninterrupted) happened to me with no connection to RB whatsoever, ( I haven’t seen or heard him for a while). It was in my last month of being in the school, and lasted long after I was asked to leave. I lived my regular life while in it, talked, ate, traveled, did business – it was absolutely amazing. I can assure you that there are other friends (whom I know) who had a similar experience, not connected to RB in any way. That broke the belief for me, totally. You actually can have high states without RB, (if high states is what you’re after) – not based on any efforts or practice, not based on anything! Unfortunately, many of us made this costly mistake, connecting the profound state to some person’s influence, and – you saw it yourself – chasing or forcing this state doesn’t help, whatever you are trying to do to get it… You said it: “Never duplicated after excruciating effort or suffering for that matter.” Let me add: “And it probably never will. Because it has nothing to do with RB or effort, or anything. It comes by itself, when you expect it least.”
But it is very hard to persuade yourself that RB didn’t “cause” your state, when you have such a powerful “verification.” Well, there you are, thanks to this verification – chasing the state probably for many years, doing your excruciating effort and suffering, paying lots of money and following a man in false hope that he’ll give you something he can never give because it is not the kind of thing you just “give” or “produce”…
I hope something powerful will occur in your life to show the falseness of this belief, like it did for me. Until then – NO DOUBT for you, as you expressed very strongly. I completely understand, it was no doubt for me too, for long time.
Also, I came to realize that it is not the state that WE are, so there is actually no need to hunt for states. State is just an experience. Oh yes, it’s a great one. But you can’t have it all the time, just like you cannot have orgasm non-stop, or certain pleasant flavor or smell all the time, or laugh and be excited non-stop. Our body just can’t function like that. It has an experience, and then this experience passes. Isn’t it how it works? State is an experience, it must pass. You are – to whom this state happens, and living your life with this understanding is very liberating and satisfying…
It’s a misunderstanding, a false hope – to reach a “permanent”, unchanging high state. It’s like fixing a certain reflection in a mirror. Everything that has an expression in this world is bound to change.
Do you RB is in permanent high state all the time? Not at all. And if he tells you so, well, then he lies. May be just to keep you doing your excruciating costly efforts for more years, and then, may be next lifetime…
I hope you don’t have to wait this long, dear Cake!
On Students
Rabbi Burns Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Siddiq (362): “it is possible to be somewhat more aware, somewhat more awake than we are now, a little less in imagination, identified, negative, etc.–this is what I am after”
Good! This is exactly what the FOF is currently offering, very succinctly put. About two years ago I came to more or less the same place as Siddiq. I realised that awakening in the sense that I understood it when I joined the FOF was not available in the FOF. One available choice was to accept that fact, just as Siddiq has done, and enjoy spending time with my friends at Apollo D’Oro with occasional moments of presence. Like Siddiq, I had no relationship to the eccentricities of Robert’s current teachings. Like many current FOFers I rarely attended Robert’s meetings and instead hung out with the FOFers I liked and respected.
If I stayed I would give up my quest for spiritual awakening and accept that Siddiq’s “being somewhat more aware” is all that I could aspire to.
But first I had a look at what is available outside the FOF. I was amazed! I found very pure, uncomplicated teaching that points straight towartds real spiritual awakening. These days it’s freely and widely available as soon as you step outside the stifling confines of the FOF. I left about six months ago and the world has flowered anew.
But, Siddiq, I respect your decision to set your sights low and remain comfortable if you’re sure that’s what you want. At least you’re honest about it (?).
cheers, RB
On high states
dick moron Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Cake #380
My mystical experience.
While I, in no way, can truly know what you experienced that night with RB, I want to suggest another way of understanding the state you were in at the time.
Early in my involvement with FOF, I would experience what I felt were higher energies and mystical experiences during meetings when RB taught, or even Donald M, Helga or Joel were the leaders. I attributed these energies to those beings to whom I was focusing my (supposed) divided attention. It seemed that they were releasing these energies in me, through some higher presence they had obtained.
Early dinners with RB had the same effect. It seemed very special. I now believe these states were the product of chemical releases in my body, due to great expectations, and a kind of star-struck adrenaline rush. Concentrating one’s emotional and mental attention on someone who is thought to be godlike, can play tricks on the mind and body. I will never forget, once attending a 7th day adventists meeting in the southeast US when I was a teenager. As a disinterested observer, not a participant, it was remarkable to see the states of ecstasy and rapture produced in the faithful, who were rolling around on the floor as the service climaxed. To them, I am sure it was a very real experience.
Those of us who used psychotropic drugs such as LSD in the past, certainly know how chemicals can produce mystical states.
Several years ago I was introduced to the actress Nicole Kidman. Immediately afterwards, I was reminded of the hightened states I used to experience at FOF meetings and early contact with RB. Was Kidman producing this state in me through her higher centers? No, clearly it was a chemical reaction I was having due to being in awe of a beautiful celebrity.
Was it a 3rd state experience? Maybe, but it had nothing to do with her level of being.
In no way am I denegrating the experience you had. From your lovely description I can see it is a dear memory to you.
That indescribable observing presence in you, that witnessed and recorded this mystical experience in your physical self, is what we are all trying to be. Not the experience itself. There are many roads that can lead you there. RB was like the guy at the gas station who sells you a map. He used to sell maps, charted by others, that might get you there. Now, from what I hear, he’s drawing his own crazy maps.
Second line
dick moron Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
Sandra,
Thanks for your last post. We knew each other for many years, though I was never as close friends with you as my wife SM. It would be great to see you somewhere, sometime.
I always respected you and felt somehow you had NOT totally bought into your leadership role in FOF. I did see the innocent, child-like part of you behind the center director.
While that trusting innocence allowed many of us to be used and abused, I think it is what ultimately redeems us. When experience finally made us realize what RB is all about, we found a way out.
Time has sent most of my FOF experiences down the river, but one can never forget. Writing down my thoughts and experiences here, are no doubt part a selfish exercise to further cleanse myself. Hopefully others who read them can get something out it.
Also, like my buddy Bruce, I find it a great forum for constructive sarcasm and naughty sharp-pointed humor.
Ames Gilbert Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Thank you, 2b (#8-346) and no person (#8-354) for updating us on the meetings situation. It sounds truly stifling to me, too, but Siddiq (#8-361) says that it suits him, and I must grant him that. It seems, however, even Siddiq would agree that there is an awful lot of control going on, and I’d like to address that.
So here goes: in a healthy organism, on any scale (individual, corporation, cell, planet), there are two flows of energy that I want to remind readers about, the ones that together are called Reciprocal Maintenance. Here is an analogy (which is another way of presenting information so it can slip past formatory resistance). Think about two corporations that most of us have heard of, Toyota and General Motors. GM has traditionally been organized as a hierarchical, top-down management structure. The vision, and orders, flow from the top down. The president has his ideas about how things should be run, he tells the vice-presidents who tell the division chiefs who tell the factory managers who tell the foremen who tell the workers on the floor what to do. The message, of course, changes to suit each level, and the managers add their interpretations, some valid, some not, so each level gets a version of the vision altered to suit that level. It is traditional American style management, and gets a certain amount of results. Note that the guys at the bottom have their job; it is to obey orders and get on with production.
Contrast that to Toyota. They too have a top-down management system, but they have a parallel system in place, where feedback and suggestions come from below. The president has his vision, but it is able to be modified by input from the front lines, the folks doing the actual work. Think about this. Toyota gets about 35,000 suggestions from the shop floor each year. These people know first-hand what the problems are, as of course do the workers at GM. The difference is that 95% of the suggestions are implemented at Toyota. What does this mean? It means that in the most real and meaningful way, the management has empowered the workers; it trusts them with the life and future of the company. Most people have heard that any worker at Toyota can stop the entire production line if he/she feels that it is going too fast to maintain quality. What a responsibility! The workers are rewarded with a share of the savings from their ideas and innovations, personal satisfaction, the approval of their peers, a real feeling of meaningful participation. They are participants, partners and stakeholders, not wage slaves.
GM has over the years tried to copy Toyota in a half-hearted way. But because the management, especially top management, does not actually believe in this system (loosely called TQM—Total Quality Management), it has mostly failed. Only 5% of suggestions made from the factory floor are implemented, the workers are discouraged, and the company is failing. This analogy of course extends to the FOF, and of course the FOF is GM. Toyota knows about Reciprocal Maintenance. The workers toil in the border between the conditioned world and the unconditioned world; they are on the edge, where there is most to lose and most to gain, where there is risk and hazard. They are organizing things out of chaos, according to the vision of the founder/president. They are not being micromanaged, they are partners with the founder, working together to realize the vision.
At the start of an organization, the founder can do all the work, or try to. But, there comes a point when the founder’s vision has been realized enough in the material world that he/she needs help if the organization is to grow. Now a new layer must be created because the founder can no longer do all the work in the trenches—the first layer of management. As the organization becomes bigger, more layers are needed, and the founder gets further away from the front lines and the raw data that used to inform him directly. This data from the front lines is now interpreted by the layers of management in between. The founder molds the management to suit his style, and the management molds the founder (sometimes he realizes this, but usually not). For those into Gurdjieff and want to look it up, he called the ‘downward’ flow of energy (vision and instructions) Autoegocrat, “I keep everything under my control”. He called the upward flow of energy (information from the front lines) Trogoautoegocrat, “I hold myself together by feeding”. Together, they are called Reciprocal Maintenance. (In nature, these webs are studied as “ecology”).
The amount of energy a founder has is limited. If he does not accept information, energy, and help from below, then he must make more and more decisions (micromanaging), extending to every corner of the “empire”. At some point the energy runs out, and the fabric of the empire starts to crack. If nothing is done, the founder “will not listen”, the organization collapses, goes bankrupt, and everyone concerned is unhappy. On the other hand, if the founder delegates his responsibilities, trains the managers below on how to do his work if he is absent (and lets them practice!), seeks input via the suggestion box on the shop floor so he can get raw data that has not been interpreted by intervening management, then there is the requisite flow of energy from below, and there is balance and harmony, and everyone is happy.
The first kind of organization feels constipated, lifeless, with no movement possible. The second kind feels alive, full of energy, and filled with possibilities. The FOF is definitely the of first kind, as an organization. This may not be true of every individual at a particular moment (some of the managers may be having a fine time, by their lights, for example, or a newbie may be lit up with the enthusiasm and energy they brought with them), but the organization itself is dead in the water.
By the way, extending this anology to another area… It has been said many times that Burton has a higher being lesser folk cannot comprehend. Let us assume that this is true—for a moment. Here is the solution to the quandary of what happens if the founder is remote or inaccessible in any way. All we have to do is to look at his work, the results of his being. In this analogy, when a founder takes in managers and workers, he will mold the management to suit his purposes. That is, they will manifest his management style, they will be in fact lesser or miniature versions of him—any new recruit that does not fit in with his style is shown the door, of course. So, if the founder is inaccessible, study the lower layers of management that are accessible. Study Girard, study Linda, study the center directors, study the older students. They are in Burton’s mold. “By their fruits ye shall know them”. Watch a student in line for promotion/glory, watch how they mold themselves to suit, watch their manifestations. You will get a very accurate picture of those “above” of them.
Hey, I had fun writing this; I hope you had fun reading it!
With love,
Ames
Indoctrination
alice in wonderlust Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
#378 ask yourself
“The “higher state” we all swear we have at dinners and meetings is most likely produced by being with 50-300 people that are making an effort to stay in Kings of centers. When in life are you EVER in a room with 50-300 people trying to stay in the kings? The answer is NEVER. That’s why we love the fellowship. It creates an environment you can’t find anywhere else. But at what price and with what long term result?”
The more I think about this the sadder it seems. My experience post-fof has been quite contrary to this. Meetings in the beautiful waste lands of Oregon House are sadly impoverished – you don’t seem to know that. Fof leaches onto ‘higher states’ ‘hydrogens’ (call it what you will) of OTHERS and with a few pretentious aphorisms tries to pump itself up like this. You should know that with a bit of effort the rewards of being out in ‘life’ are far greater that you realize. You might even be able to contribute something to humanity. If you keep up the mantra of ‘it’s only possible in the fof’ long enough you will get yourself to BELIEVE it. It is such a loss to you and the greater community of humans. Reciting pre-digested ‘angles’ is a very low state actually. Life is so much richer than that!
High States
Cathie Says:
May 10th, 2007 at 1:22 am
Dear Cake #380,
I liked reading about your mystical experience. I think many of us experienced those magical moments during our time in the FOF. I remember one time washing dishes and hearing a “work I” formulate itself in my head, looking up, and seeing Robert standing there. I had the distinct impression that he had transmitted that thought to me. It created a moment of presence and memory.
I think he has the ability to do that. A magician. Power in the K Clubs. Something.
After leaving the FOF I had mystical experiences very similar to what you described when I took MDMA –that feeling of total all-rightness, wholeness and bliss. Having tasted that, one naturally wants to know how to have it at will.
If that is possible, I think it arises out of a deep sense of gratitude, a surrender to what is, not resisting or trying to change anything. I believe (there’s that word again) this is the state in which Grace finds and touches us most deeply.
Robert’s Theories
Ryan O’Poo Says:
May 10th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Siddiq,
You wrote regarding the new meeting format #361;
“Then also because of this new format we do not need to listen to someone’s subjective interpretation of what is being said.
Siidiq, here is a fairly typical comment from a meeting;
“Horus took a harpoon thirty feet long with a blade six feet wide at its point of greatest width … and cast it deep into the head of the red hippopotamus.”
Robert’s Comment:
….”Horus took a harpoon thirty feet long” – the steward drew from the thirty great work ‘I’s – “with a blade six feet wide at its point of greatest width” – work ‘I’ number six – “and cast it deep into the head of the red hippopotamus” – and completed the sequence, removing the hippopotamus – the lower self. * A stained-glass window from the cathedral of Bourges depicts Christ – the steward – harpooning a dragon with a “thirty-foot” spear. He is freeing the three Be’s from the hold of the lower self, implying a complete sequence.
Do you honestly believe this is an objective interpretation of what’s being said?
Love,
Ryan.
Personal testimony
Cristina Says:
May 10th, 2007 at 8:50 am
Dear friends,
I want to start this letter saying how happy and proud I am to find you all here, in this blog, alive and kicking, inside and out side the FOF.
I joined the FOF in 1999 and left in 2003.
The reason I join was that I felt interested in:
1- becoming a conscious being
2- the possibility of working on myself
3- the verification of the work
4- the transformation of energy ( ei: negative emotion into positive)
5- the non religious structure of the school ( verification not believe)
6- The fact that the 4th way is not like the way of the monk: YOU HAVE TO DO IN THE LIFE (not inside a secluded community…)
In these 4 year I worked in my center, and visited Apollo twice (I was a bit scared by the all situation there that I found a bit extreme).
What I tried to do was to get what I needed without falling down.
They were a lot disturbing fact and situation that for many months I tried to brush aside in the name of the WORK. And because of this I never forsake my outside life, my outside family and friends, I was actually talking to them about the school. And this made it easy to leave when I realize that what was asked from me, more and more, was to BELIVE instead to VERIFY.
What it enrages me the most was that in the name of the WORK everything was allowed. Even the most unethical, cruel, absurd, violent acts.
My brother was sick and I was told that I needed to forget him because he was just someone from life, going to the moon. Thing like that were so heartless that scared me. So I thoughts: I prefer the moon forever with the people I love and respect than eternity with such cruel creature that are faking goodness. And so I left knowing that they were other ways to find the light outside of this school.
I believe that real conscious beings are about compassion and real giving.
After I left I stayed in touch with some former and current members. Real love goes beyond everything. Thank God!
Anyway thank you for reading.
Love
Cristina
Interesting Parallels.
About OSHO [Rashneesh] Says:
May 9th, 2007 at 6:54 am
Rajneesh, and the famous Greek-Armenian mystic George Gurdjieff, often used the power of the Atman for clearly personal gain. Both men used their cosmic consciousness to overwhelm and seduce women. Gurdjieff was ashamed of his behavior and vowed many times during his life to end this practice, which was a combination of ordinary male lust backed up by the potent advantage of oceanic supermental power. Rajneesh went even further and used his channeled cosmic energy to manipulate masses of people to gain a kind of quasi-political status, and to aggrandize himself far beyond what was honest or helpful to his disciples. In Oregon, Rajneesh declared to the media that “My religion is the only religion!” Diplomacy and modesty were not his strong points.
To my knowledge, George Gurdjieff never reached the extremes of self-indulgence of Rajneesh, and he even warned his disciples not to have blind faith in him. Gurdjieff wanted his students to be free and independent, with the combined abilities of clear mental reasoning and cosmic consciousness. Rajneesh, by contrast, seemed to believe that only his thoughts and ideas were of value because only he was “enlightened.” This was a grand error in judgment and revealed a basic flaw in his character. Unfortunately, when Rajneesh achieved the ability to fully channel the power of the Atman, he failed to apply the needed wisdom of self-restraint. His human mind so rebelled against Asian asceticism that he failed to ensure that his borrowed power was only used for the good of others. Rajneesh was driven by strong personal ambitions, not just compassion.
“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.” – Henry Kissinger
May 15, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Hello Elena – apologies for the long absence.
Many years ago my wife and I sent a Postcard to Robert, it was a drawing by Holbein (I think) – the picture was titled ‘ An unidentified man’ – and I wrote on the card, ‘Dear Robert, We found one!’. Unfortunately Robert didn’t get the joke… I hope you do
Fond regards
Alexis
May 20, 2007 at 12:24 am
Hello Alexis,
I think I get the joke, but as I said in another post, I never quite know if I did. My children use to tell them just to laugh at my inability to understand them.
Your tone is very warm and welcoming and needed in this times but I wish to let you know that this sketchbook is not about me or letters to me, it is about collecting the material we would like potential students and students to be aware of so that they have some relativity about what they are doing.
I think your story stands finely without the greetings to me, which I’ll keep warmly for myself.
Thank you. Fond regards,
Elena
May 21, 2007 at 6:27 am
This is a selection from page 1/1 to 1/40
The Sheik’s prospective meeting 1/1
My visit to the Fellowship of Friends (written a year ago and not changed since)
I have had a very interesting experience today, I visited an informal presentation of the Fellowship of Friends (http://www.apollo.org/) to listen to their take on the Fourth Way teachings – teachings of Gurdjieff and his disciple Ouspensky. I am full of mixed feelings, I have just finished doing some rather extensive research on the Fellowship and the results were not happy, thus meeting some of my fears and intensifying my distrust of this cult.
I will structure this entry in the following manner: section 1) will deal with my visit to the Fellowship as it happened, with no added judgements; section 2) will try to put things into context using my additional research; section 3) will include my personal opinions on the visit, on the Fellowship etc.
1) The Fellowship headquarters in London are suited in a rather nice part of northern London, in an area that is much more beautiful and green than most, one that offers a rather enchanting landscape view of a small part of London which is otherwise hidden from sight.
The day of my visit to the Fellowship was a nice sunny day and many times was I forced to stop and take in the magnificent view. When I was nearing the house where the presentation was supposed to take place, I was overtaken by an old red car, most of it brightly painted over with psychedelic imagery, esoteric symbolism and pictures of tribal people drumming and dancing. I knew I was going in the right direction. And as I arrived at the end of my journey, there stood the inhabitants of the car – a large bald man with a green sweather and 3 massive crystal necklaces, a lady with hair the colours of the rainbow, and another lady who was slightly less outgoing and whose appearance therefore slipped my mind. I wrongly took them for the presenters at first, for they were just humble visitors, same as me.
I knocked on the door of a fairly large suburban house and was let in by a man of Eastern looks – a mixture of Russian and Arab features. He was dressed in a very expensive pastel suit, his looks could not have been any more perfect. He was the doorman – so you can imagine what the rest of the troupe who were to entertain us looked like. I went through to the living room and into the meeting chamber. There were smartly dressed people everywhere – most of them in their late 30s or 40s, all of them with easy manners, slight charm but also arrogance. I was seated on a chair and had a second to properly take in my surroundings. The house was beautiful – very tasteful, beautiful paintings, statues and other art, all in perfect position – everything looked very stylish and upper-class.
There were 3 men – or rather one 30+ years old man and two young men in their twenties, both of them with great expectations and slight naivity easily readable on their faces. I was to find out that the young men were brothers from Poland who came to find out more about the esoteric knowledge that this group had to offer. The older man was a new member of the Fellowship, his acting skills were not yet as highly developed as his colleagues’ therefore he came across as a rather down-to-earth kind of man. We briefly talked and I was happy to see some common interests between us, yet slightly disappointed by the two young men (who seemed intelligent but far too naive and unguarded not to be easily manipulated). We were later joined by a beautiful young woman either from Italy or Spain, also smartly dressed, who kept our company for a minute or two and fueled many sexual fantasies and desires for the two boys just by her presence. I was, of course, untouched. As long as falling in love on the first sight does not count.
Then came time for the presentation itself. We were seated by the man who was to chair the event – he moved us several times until he was certain that the ‘energy in the room was properly distributed’. This was a pretty funny event – adults were told to sit at other places, move their chairs, swap places and such – all of this I believe was meant to put us at ease. Then came the time for introductions.
The presenters were numerous and picked so that as many different types were represented – the main presenter was an English man, aristocrat appearance and an old-school beige suit, he had piercing eyes and a deep enchanting voice, he was the most charismatic manipulator I have ever met. His entourage consisted of an intellectual American (not an oxymorom), scruffy yet perfectly dressed Scottsman, the beautiful south-western European woman, 2 pretty older women (one English, one foreign) and about 3 other British men. All of them perfectly dressed, if in a rather eighteenth century kind of way.
The visitors were as follows: me, the 3 inhabitants of the psychedelic car, an unhealthy fat English lady interested in lucid dreaming, the two Poles, an uneasy scared Brit and possibly one or two others.
There were also some other Fellowship members who were not presenting and two Russians/Arabs in incredibly expensive summer suits who looked like bodyguards. The member:non-member ratio was roughly 2:1.
The presentation started and the basic ideas were put forward:
there are 4 levels of consciousness going from the lowest to the highest: sleep, being awake (still asleep), awareness of oneself, and the final 4th state. The first state is experienced while dreaming, the second state is experienced while we are awake, yet it is like a dream in that we behave like robots – there is no self, no will and we react to outside influences in pre-programmed ways. These first two states are the only states experiencable without some heavy work on one-self. The third state usually happens once in one’s life and can be accessed again through techniques taught by the school. Through being in the third state continuosly one can access the fourth state and awaken. The only truly awakened is Robert Burton, the founder of the Fellowship;
you can not achieve awakening on your own – you need a teacher who is farther down the road than yourself;
awakening is the only way to keep on living after death – the only way to an after-life;
psychology, psychotherapy and psychoanalysis are useless and wrong – they are a false science – the only way to cure oneself is through awakening oneself.
There were more ideas put through but I forgot what they consisted of. Something about turning negative feelings and emotions into positive energy (and self-awareness) and similar. The main speaker also made us do a short simple exercise on attention – the idea was that through being attentative (through ‘being in the room’) one can experience oneself experiencing his surroundings – what he sees, hears,… Through this split-awareness one can train oneself to fully experience everything and by prolonging this state one can enter the 3rd state of consciousness. – Readers who are aware of the concept of mindfulness or the teachings of Gurdjieff will understand.
Overall, a very interesting presentation – some things made sense, others were slightly absurd(such as that angels exist and talk with certain special individuals). I don’t know how much of it was taken from Gurdjieff or Ouspensky since I never read them. I suppose that much was added by Burton – probably a fair amount.
Then came time for questions which were answered in such a way as to create more interest in the subject, a genuine wish to find out more about the teachings. Manipulator galore. The idea that these teachings (and this school) were the only way to salvation were very quietly and with great skill fed to the listeners – mainly the idea that only the awakened will be given after-life. I asked why this school was more relevant than the other esoteric schools and before I even finished the last syllable I was answered that this school wasn’t more relevant – the only thing that was relevant was that at that moment I was in the Fourth Way school. All questions were treated as if they were trivial and did not deserve any time from the presenters.
Then came time for snacks, tea, coffee and informal conversation. I tried to talk to the guy who chaired the meeting but he quickly threw me in the direction of other members – he wasn’t wishing to talk to any non-members any more. So I found the American presenter and started a conversation with him, this is what I found:
- my personal mystical experiences were unknown to him, he did not understand them when I tried to explain them to him; that in itself is strange since most people who dabble in this area usually know what I am talking about;
- psychedelic drugs are not allowed in the Fellowship, they are viewed as a means to attaining higher states of consciousness in the short-term but they have negative effect in the long-term;
- there are supposedly 2 people in Britain who attained a permanent 3rd state of consciousness (he called it ‘crystallization’ I think), they were not present at the presentation;
- he said that he joined the Fellowship when he was 22 and that it’s a good time to start studying at a school and that the Fellowship changed his life. To that I replied that I have already had my life-changing experience and that I don’t think that my road is the same as that of the Fellowship, and that I did not agree with the Fellowship policy to take 10% of one’s annual revenue as membership payment each year since attainement of higher states of consciousness should be taught for free. To that he replied that I am not the only one to think that but that there were reasons for that fee (to show people’s willingness to suffer in order to prosper spiritually, and to use the fees to fund the school) and that if I choose not to join I should just keep on following the coincidences that have been happenin to me. Sound advice.
So I left without saying my goodbyes. It was a strange experience, god knows if it was positive or negative.
2) You might have gathered on your own that the Fellowship is a bit of a cult. Just how bad it is can be gathered from here:
http://www.freedomofmind.com/resourcecenter/groups/f/fellowship/
http://www.rickross.com/groups/fof.html
The leader is quite definitely insane, a paedophile, brainwasher and manipulator. And he’s good. He likes people to dress up nice and smart, he doesn’t like people to joke, he hates smoking and, just for good measure, he dislikes pre-marital sex and homosexuality. That’s coming from a man who has had several lawsuits filed against him for forced homosexual acts. He also believes that he talks with 44 angels – including Jesus, Franklin and Goethe. Rock on Burton!!! Sadly enough this madman has managed to attract around 2000 followers.
3) This is the hard part. I hate to say it but some of the people I met in the Fellowship were incredibly inteligent, well-versed in esoteric studies, knowledgable and possibly quite far on the self-exploration path. They seemed to have that ‘it’ that serious students of alternate states of consciousness, the inner and outer realities, acquire after time. Doesn’t bode well with the cultist reality of the Fellowship but that’s what I was getting from them. After reading some more on these things I have to say that most of it was probably an act. The arrogance felt from the members of the Fellowship towards the listeners can be explained by the belief of these people that whoever is not a member is a worthless robot who deserves nothing from the superior members. This is a belief that is taught as a part of the teachings of the Fellowship of Friends, it always results in alienation from one’s family, friends, partner – you name it.
So be warned – there are better Gurdjieff organisations, other schools and other teachers. Cults should never be trifled with! I believe that an integral part of a personal journey is the (sub-conscious) search for a teacher, it would be a mistake to learn from false prophets. So don’t be attracted by easy gains, it’s better to wait for the real deal than to join a cult that offers the ‘perfect’ self-betterment practices. I have come across most of the techniques that were briefly talked about in the presentation at other places. One of the techniques that the Fellowship uses to attract new members is by putting Fellowship bookmarks into books in esoteric bookstores and libraries. Coincidence? – hardly.
So what is the lesson of the day? Always be sceptical, don’t trust or believe anything and let things happen as they wish. Your mission is to deal with it afterwards, integrate it and learn from it. Don’t let people manipulate you! And if you ever run out of money start a cult and put your esoteric knowledge to good use (as Burton did).
On Robert’s Teaching.1/14X Says:
November 30th, 2006 at 8:14 am e
Well,
I am a member of FOF for over 15 years, and my sincere advise to all seekers : RUN!!! Because if you join, you’ll subject yourself to the influence which will INEVITABLY twist your understanding and ability to think and make decisions, infuse you with fear of life outside the Fellowship, and develop protective mechanisms (or what we call buffers) to justify your new beliefs. Just like the member who posted above, you’ll learn about the lies, corruption and abuse, but you’ll prefer to “not notice”. Yes, that’s what happens. Because if you say something – you’re out!
Regardless if you were there for 30 years faithfully paying your 10% – you’ll get a boot, and no one will talk to you, all your “friends” wil turn away. Because they are told so, and they are afraid. Cold, cruel policy with no conscience or compassion. Well, I guess, slaves don’t get compassion – and members are slaves!
Essentially, the school is like a drug – a psycological one – you’ll get dependent and will not be able to quit. You’ll hallucinate too, and will see things twisted and colored the way your teacher wants them to be. Please trust me, I speak from personal (withdrawal) experience.
As for awakening, we are told in the school that it will take life-times, and endless efforts (read the member above) and as of today NOT A SINGLE PERSON in our school achieved awakening or even got close. Even all those 30-year members – none except for one devoted party-liner whom teacher announced as an enlightened being, I guess to make things look good for others.
Long-term memers become so affected by this “teaching” that they cannot adapt to regular life anymore. To many the teacher became a father figure. (Often a sex-father-figure).
By the way, it’s not 4th way school. It’s just on the cover. 4th way is long gone. It’s “Robert’s teaching”, and what it really means is total obedience, trained behaviour, manners and dress code, huge monthly payments, and crazy ideas. They are not even ideas, they are some codes and his “keys” to the Bible and ancient texts, short prayers and symbols – not rational, not meaningful, not even funny. No questions allowed, no verifications, no doubts. Very religious. Does it look like 4th way to you?
People in the group often act like police – watch, listen and then – report. It is so corrupted, there is so much money squeezed out of students – just to create a very, very high lifestyle for the Teacher. Oh, he is actually Beloved Teacher.
This School will not bring you to awakening. It will enslave you.
But to be fare – in first 2 -3 years you’ll get to know some very cool people, learn some basic Ouspensky terminology and will actually be able to observe more of yourself and others. You’ll even have some fun! Probably travel to different places and meet people from other countries. You’ll experience fine dining (very expensive though), high class events in rose gardens with fountains (again -it ain’t free), learn some manners and get some class. You’ll look good in toxedo! Women are not allowed to wear pants or jeans, so buy some nice dresses, ladies.
But fun will end, the longer you stay the deeper you sink. And just like the animal who was caged his whole life, you’ll lose sence of freedom and will start defending your cage.
Why i don’t list my name? For the fear of prosecution of course. Why I don’t leave the group? I think the time hasn’t come yet, and there are people in the group in need of support and help. I have dear friends who are stuck and I fell it’s my duty to try helping them. If I get kicked out they may not be able to communicate with me.
AGAIN, I BEG YOU – DO NOT JOIN THIS GROUP. DON’T. AND TELL OTHERS TOO.
If you really feel “spiritual” – check out some Advaita teachers, like Sailor Bob Adamson, Tony Parsons or Adyashanti – much cooler! Don’t pay Robert, he’s already making 5 mil a year from his students (not kidding).
1/6 On Schools C.B. Willis Says:
August 15th, 2006 at 1:56 am e
I have no connection with FOF, but have been
a student of the Fourth Way etc for about 30
years, have done writing etc. in this area.
A comment on how far a person can 1) become
enlightened and 2) clear away personal and
cultural conditioning on his own. One can
only go so far with either of these entirely
on one’s own. A true teacher, whether teaching
in person or via writings or tapes (including
scriptures from world religions),
and by giving initation, can be a catalyst
for enlightenment far beyond what a person
could have achieved otherwise. The ideal is to
be a healthy student of a true and virtuous
teacher. This means open to truth, actively
seeking truth, not overly passive. It doesn’t
take long to get the basics, from which all
else is derived.
Teacher as catalyst is even more true in the
area of Work-on-self which includes examining
and clearing away personal and cultural
conditioning. Especially in the area of
personal conditioning, there are blind spots
and therapeutic ignorance of how
to effectively transform what is found. The
person doens’t know That they don’t know,
they don’t know What they don’t know, and they
don’t know How to effectively fix it if they
did know. No amount of thinking or introspection will allow us to find or fix these areas. Most people don’t know these
areas exist, though they’re constantly at the
effect of them in self and others. No matter how conscientious and self-reflective the
person may be, there is nothing
that compares to effective transformational
process delivered by a true teacher or effective
therapist. Some of this can be delivered in
small groups, which has very many advantages.
At least some private Work with a teacher/therapist is usually necessary, and
can be expedient in the absence of a group.
The forms that this Work can take are varied
in different traditions and approaches,
and the effectiveness, depth, elegance, safety,
and stability of result can vary widely as
well.
It helps to have a basic religious
alignment or agreement with a teacher, as a lot
of Work disasters stem from what derives from
basic religious beliefs or the absence of those
beliefs, or assumptions made about basic
religious beliefs without clarification or conversation, or a teacher’s hidden agendas
about changing a student’s basic religious
beliefs, or a student’s hidden agenda to do
some of the Work but avoid religious
beliefs that may be at the foundation of a
teacher’s teaching and Work. Some paths are
widely inclusive of many religious beliefs,
some are practically secular, some have
more narrow sectarian beliefs, others have
unusual beliefs, but it’s useful to disclose
underlying religious beliefs upfront so that students can make an informed choice. Check
for alignment, and eliminate unpleasant
surprises.
Despite the minefield in personal
transformation, Some intrepid souls will take
the risk to find high quality transformational
Work, and trust that that they can
course-correct as needed. Without the
prerequisites of sound spiritual foundation,
this trust in the larger life process and
discernment of truth, and ability to course-correct will be difficult, and therein lies
much of the problem with people and “cults”,
that early religious education failed
to prepare the person with spiritual basics
so when they seek what is advanced training
in groups or with a teacher or therapist,
they’re lacking in spiritual basics that are
going to hang them up later. The remedial
Work on these pre-requisites is not done.
I have several introductory articles on these
topics. cbwillis@lightlink.com.
C.B. Willis, M.A.
Consultant and Educator
Northern California
1/15 St. Fillan Says: Freedom of Speech
December 4th, 2006 at 6:40 am e
Dear E.S.
Thank you for providing this medium for us to talk. One of the principle means of control used by groups like Robert’s is how, when, and to whom information is disseminated. There is a megaphone for all that rings positive about the fellowship, and a sophisticated kind of suppression of questioning and doubt.
This is one more open door for us. I would invite all to take advantage of this site, for ANY commentary that seems pertinent. Personally I have always tried to avoid exaggeration – especially about this theme. The more I learn, however, about the increasingly manipulative, religious, and essentric nature of our organization, the more I understand why members various accounts sound extreme. The facts ARE extreme.
Although anonymity is a compromise, it allows those of us who are heavily ‘invested’ a way to of trusting what we see, percieve, or hear from others. It is shared by many. We just don’t know it yet.
Good luck,
St. Fillan
FOF Tactics
The Sheik in 1/18
Now I am a very simple man but I do have a paranoid mind. I am aware of how the fellowship meticulously clears up all evidence of its activities and settles with ex-members in such a way as to make certain that no more information leaks the organisation. I have heard of the lawsuits, I can imagine who would want to know whether I have any links to ex-members of the fellowship or any ‘documentation’ belonging to the cult.
Indoctrination 1/20 Former Long-Time Student Says:
December 19th, 2006 at 8:34 pm e
Anonymous’ post is a most thoughtless and unnecessary twisting of ‘X’s thoughts and is an excellent example of what Gurdjieff called “formatory thinking”. The fact that ‘X’ is aware of the commonplace that “group think” tends to destabilise one’s own individual perceptions to the point even of delusion (and that this is happening in the Fellowship of Friends) does not automatically mean that his own perception of this well-known fact must be deluded. Having spent years in the Fellowship, I cannot but agree with him.
There is a psychological process that one undergoes in order to adapt to the culture of the Fellowship. One can be either more or less aware of it (the more aware of it one is, the less comfortable one will be, and the more need there will be to suppress it). The human tendency in group situations is towards conformity of thought and behaviour, as in any long-term group dynamic, religious or secular. It is often necessary to buffer the ‘cognitive dissonance’ that arises when one’s own values are different from or even antithetical to those of the group if one wishes to stay or is frightened into believing that one will be thrown out with no where else to go.
This is certainly the case for many in the Fellowship at one time or another. The problem for students is that they are taught categorically, and reinforced socially, that any doubts, criticisms or problems they have with the Teacher or the School are unsound. These perceptions are not only unsound, they are positively diabolical, and said to emanate from that part of the “machine” which is the enemy to awakening and which seeks to sabotage one’s work. Some students are finally able to regain trust in their own capacity to see the truth (this often takes years of painful soul-searching), and see that what they were believing in or have outgrown is now clearly seen as one’s participation in one’s own self-deception, not to mention that in doing so, one has succumbed to a less than wholesome teaching.
But until students see this they will also be like the person who is at the stage of full indoctrination: they can only have one response to themselves and to others: if one doubts or perceives that something is “evil,” it is their enemy, their “king of clubs” speaking, and that, as yet unawakened beings, they are incapable of determining truth, as such “negative” perceptions are indicative of a lower dualistic level of consciousness (interesting how even people who discover non-dualistic Advaita or Buddhism still recognise when people are behaving badly and how this is directly connected with real spiritual level). In any case, trying to talk to a person fully in the grip of this fundamentalism is like talking to the person who has heard of the psychological term “denial” and uses that concept in order to nullify everyone who disagrees. E.g., “You want to leave because you’ve fallen prey to your own limited ego, but that’s where you’re deluded.” Response: “No, I’m saying that I have seen that I’ve been deluded and now I’ve woken up.” “No, you are in denial. You’re not qualified to say what’s delusional and what isn’t, since you’re not awake.”
That, my friends, is a subtle trap. You must trust yourselves. What you have made into your enemy (your own conscience and your own common sense) is your best and finest friend. This common sense is your integrity, that unity that you have been seeking and which needs to grow. In the pursuit of higher consciousness and mystical states, one must not lose sight of one’s full humanity.
The problem with closed-systems of thought is just that: they are closed. In the Fellowship, as in most, if not all fundamentalist cults or sects, there is never any good reason to leave. This is an assumption underlying the intolerant and ignorant attitude held by some (not all) students, an attitude taught and cultivated by RB. It follows that if there can be no good reason to leave, there can only be bad reasons. The worldview is conceived in black & white. Especially for Fourth Way students, this extreme dualism should be a flag of the chief characteristic of formatory thinking: “either/or”. ‘X’ has clearly ‘verified’ for himself that one is in danger of losing one’s common sense, one’s ability even to perceive truth if one becomes too psychologically, socially, and materially entangled in the Fellowship.
Many students have found that they have had to make significant adjustments to their ideas of good and evil, to the serious detriment of truth and wisdom and the peace of their own consciences. Students will have to reconcile what they see as cruel, arbitrary and aberrant behaviours with grand, artistic, mystical, and psychologically perceptive words. It would be good for them at some point to understand that there is and must be a harmonious connection between mystical ’states’ and ethical actions. This is what people understand in their heart of hearts when they seek a spiritual teacher; otherwise they will be accepting second best; this pure perception of goodness is what they stand in danger of losing if they put their moral compass in the hands of one who cannot exemplify real ‘higher love’, a higher love which is not disembodied, for that is far too easy, but thoroughly embodied in consistent acts of kindness and humility.
Luke Says: Second line
January 4th, 2007 at 4:22 am e
All
I’d like to share a theme which has become prevalent in many recent conversations with members, though not always made explicit. This theme deals with one of the primary difficulties in leaving the group: the fear of isolation.
To give some background: in the fellowship, we have an ongoing exercise (or task) to cease contact with members that have left the group. The more fundamentlist members of our group have deep-seated negative beliefs about ex-members, and attendant fear and discomfort at even crossing paths with these individuals. At another end of a wide spectrum of beliefs are members that have little regard to the task,
albeit in most cases, maintaining their friendships with ex-members very privately. Members maintaining contact with ex-members are subject to warnings and are ultimately asked to leave the group if they are openly non compliant.
Regardless of a member’s position on this or other tasks, one underwrites the view, promoted by those in charge, that ex-members have lost the “most precious gift in the universe – the opportunity to awaken”. In general the outsider or non-member is devalued; in spiritual terms, he or she is considered only a possibility, whose true potential is dependent upon living in the fellowship. Fellowship rhetoric does, after all, frequently imply the group’s spiritual hegemony over all other groups in relation to the divine. The ex-member, then, is considered someone whose possibilities have ended. The ex-member is assigned the very particular status of being cursed. Again, it is important to mention that this is not representative of the deep-seated beliefs of all, but it is the view promoted by the leaders and is publicly accepted by many.
That said, many of us are at a turning point after 15, 23, or 30 years in the group. For a variety of reasons, the least of which may be the aforementioned dillema, we want to move on. Having arrived at this point, which may involve the undoing of financial or practical ties, we are left with one very large fear – that we will lose most of our friends.
Traditionally, long-time members leaving the group have moved away to some place where they could start a new life, especially if they have
hitherto lived in or close to the community. There are however, those ex-members that have remained in the area, and to a greater or lesser
extent, they exist with the stigma of being outsiders. It seems now that this is changing.
Now many members associate with the growing number of ex-members living nearby – these are after all, old friends that may have shared a good part of their lives. Beliefs are challenged by simple human facts; that members care for, and are inspired by their friends. In the recent words of one member, toward an ex-member and friend, “love and friendship are beyond all that”.
Some members have remade friendships after years of – at best – cordial hellos at the post office. Others are unable to revive lost
relationships. Emotional breakdown sometimes occurs in cases where, having seen through their divisive attitudes, members are unable to repair historic divisions within friendships, marriages or family.
Five years ago, my good friend left the group, and in his case, I have privately maintained contact. For five years I have watched him
flourish spiritually and emotionally, and this has subtly challenged my beliefs every step of the way. The belief that by following the task I protect my self and my ‘work’ from lower influences and deviations is melting down. An alternate view of the task is that of a device, that helps solidify the fellowship beliefs that are promulgated by the leaders. Moreover, the
fear that is a product of such beliefs might mitigate the unthinkable – that I may someday find it not only acceptable, but even desirable, to leave the group.
If we reach out, we find that the concepts of inside and outside are dualistic in nature, limit understanding, and in many of us, engender
fear. This serves the instinctive needs of the group while compromising the individual. To put a different spin on a oft-quoted fellowship
jingle: the King of Clubs is keeping us in the school.
For many years I privately held the view that only formatory mind was capable of alienating ex-students. While underwriting the central
beliefs of the group, I espoused a value system of my own. Now I am forced to consider a whole framework of school beliefs, which encompasses those aspects I still value, as well as those which I find reprehensible. I no longer enjoy the luxury of compartmentalizing concepts to make them fit inside my head. It is my good fortune that the remorse is not causing emotional breakdown, as I have seen in some
cases; After all, I shared a special language and mentors – to whom I would now refer as The Great Explainers – that gave me permission. We spun contradictions variously as ‘work on attitudes’ and ‘feeding the higher self, not the lower’ and when the buffer succeeded, we called it ’separation’. Clearly the Work ideas have practical and useful applications in our group, especially when second line and first line are healthy. What cannot be ignored however, is the growing tendency to use ideas without reference to context in the present moment. Good ideas become degraded by misapplication and by self-serving use. Self-reinforcing logic becomes the only frame of reference for many members, effectively
disconnecting them from broader and deeper thought..
The so-called work in this paradigm is in many cases defined not only by superficial, but deeply psychological forms of exclusion and
exclusivity. When we realize this, we are forced to confront, and perhaps to reconcile the contradiction; well-learned dissociative behavior has become the seedbed for misconception.
One of the many outcomes of this illusory construct, which develops over many years, is the fear of isolation. The cornerstone of that
construct, to playfully misquote Gurdjieff, would read something like this: “Life is only real, then, when I am – in the fellowship – “.
If we are prepared and willing to bring more of what we can plainly see to bear on our psychology, a disquieting storm starts to gather, and what we thought was solid ground begins to fall away from under us.
In the words of Mark Twain: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure, that just ain’t so.”
1/28 ExBrideofChrist Says: Second line
January 4th, 2007 at 8:22 pm e
Luke – in my opinion, you give an accurate assessment of the real dynamic that keeps people in the Fellowship of Friends. And you can add to fear of loss of friendship, the many other vested interests and material advantages that serve to imprison people in the FOF – under the guise of spiritual work.
To talk from the FOF paradigm, the whole phenomena might be explained as a divine experiment (of the gods) to discover the following:
What degree of behavioral, moral, and emotional corruption, and intellectual degradation will the human organism accept?
How far and for how long will a deluded and dysfunctional individual, whose conduct exposes himself, specific individuals, and the entire group to risk, liability, and other damaging consequences be followed without question or challenge?
How easily can individuals be enticed to surrender their extant values and standards and succumb to psychological tyranny, by adopting a narrow and fixed frame of reference that divorces them from the broader realities of life, with all its natural checks and balances.
How much money can be extracted by teachings, prophecies, and theories of spirituality that by any metrics are proven to be fallible or injurious?
The long term members of this group have truly lost their spiritual compass, but dare not perceive this to be true: the rationalizations and dissociative thinking are fantastic – for an otherwise intelligent and successful group of people.
Second Line 1/29 Glad2bGone Says:
January 5th, 2007 at 11:05 pm e
From above, “And you can add to fear of loss of friendship, the many other vested interests…” Such interests include maintenance of authority, position and status, stability & security, material comforts, and avoidance of the inconvenience of changing the comfortable status quo. All these factors – and many more subtler psychological motives – serve to imprison people in the FOF. Such UNextraordinary motives are couched in language that attempts to mystify and ennoble the humble reality.
Often, members resolve the discomfort that arises when a departure challenges their own basis for remaining, by concluding that “the King of Clubs” took them out of the school”. The implication here is always one of a personal failure of the departing student. (A departure must not be interpreted as a failure of the methods of the school.) This definition of failure stimulates in the remaining students a sense of superior virtue, as – in the contrast – their own work appears to have greater integrity. I have seen this play of attitudes repeatedly. The irony here is that the (instinctively entrenched) members would employ the King of Clubs explanation to denounce departing students even where the departure necessarily includes the loss of all the comforts of the status quo: friends, home, community, spouse – every single aspect of their life that has for many years constituted their entire world. Departing is much rougher than staying.
The teaching cautions against the “King of Clubs” as the enemy of awakening. The concept of the evil King of Clubs is a simple device (well documented in cult research ) that alienates common sense and all practical and intellectual discrimination: any idea or action inimical to the aims of the teacher is labeled the action of the King of Clubs, and is in this way invalidated. This device neutralizes any threat posed by questioning or doubt. With this device integrated into fellowship thinking, no real verification or informed acceptance of principles is possible. No valid way out of the fellowship exists for a member that internalizes the FOF concept of the King of Clubs: a departure is by definition a failure and can never be rational: a powerful and dangerous device, and one of many, MANY instances of faulty thinking that are endemic to fellowship culture. The many similar trite formulae and all the pseudo-logic (although, more recently, outright nonsense) manufactured by the Teacher and swallowed by the many, support the mechanism of brain washing in the fellowship. That mechanism is all the more effective for the continuous infusion of pageantry, grandiosity, and all the affectation of refinement that so characterizes public life in the FOF.
The Teacher 1/30
Former Long-Time Student Says:
January 12th, 2007 at 10:11 pm e
I would like to respond to A’s post, which states “that by understanding yourself you will understand Burton”. He has said something very important here, though my interpretation of his statement will likely diverge from what he intended.
By understanding yourself, you will understand Burton: Quite true. If one understands oneself, one will also have a better understanding of what motivates the “Teacher”. That is, one’s own motives will prove to be the same or similar to the Teacher’s, for the fundamental reason that students and teachers are both human beings, with accordingly similar basic needs and psychologies. This point of view departs, however, from orthodox Fellowship teaching and belief. A good example: While still a member, I invited a student friend and her husband, to dinner. We were discussing the Teacher’s sometimes “mysterious” behaviour. I said that we needed to remember that in addition to his being our Teacher, he was also a human being. “No he is ISN’T!” she shouted from across the dinner table. “He’s a G—O—D!” That is, the Teacher is not a human being, but a different category of being altogether. I was shocked by her vehemence but was glad to hear her point of view, as I liked her, and a more concise declaration of Fellowship dogma I had never heard. A “conscious being” is so very unlike “ordinary” people, who are “sleeping” machines, as to be another creature entirely. This anthropology is at the heart of Gurdjieff’s Fourth Way teaching and at the heart of the FoF’s.
Being “conscious” means that one has not only learned to access higher states at will, but that one is oneself a higher being. Thus empowered, one is no longer subject to the same laws that govern lower beings, that is, the rest of us. I am reminded of Nietzsche’s “superman” who megalo-maniacally arises out of the weak and ignorant masses to forge his own morality out of his own will-to-power (one can easily see how Nietszche was such an inspiration to the Nazis) and how the authoritarian Gurdjieff may have been influenced by his ideas, whether directly or indirectly (Ouspensky was certainly aware of them); we in the individualised West, have certainly inherited them. Yet, the “superman”, Nietzsche’s bold replacement for the God who had died, was ultimately still a man, although (theoretically at least), much improved by his self-conscious daring and genius.
Interestingly, at the rarified level of the FoF-type conscious being, some of the rights and privileges of a higher being would appear to be the uncensored enjoyment of sensory gratifications involving, food, drink, sex, and money, as well as the intoxicating gratifications of being worshipped . . . and feared as a god. Because these pleasures are enjoyed and exercised by a conscious being, they somehow assume a different character. They are absorbed into the character of the actor, if you will. Yet one can see also that in wider society, it isn’t only ‘spiritual beings’ who, when they achieve a certain power and influence, are all too willing to exercise unrestricted privileges at the expense of others, but persons of a quite material orientation, including those less privileged, are also equally willing to “act out” more fully these same desires when circumstances finally conspire to allow them greater scope.
It is easy to acknowledge that greed, lust, vanity, and inordinate desire for power are motives behind all of our overly-indulgent actions. These aspects of our nature are so well known, that all the major religions have recognised them throughout their histories: the sage or the saint has always been distinguished not only by their perceived proximity to the divine, however that is conceived, but according to how s/he handles the very natural ‘temptations’ or ‘desires’ that “flesh is heir to”.
Interesting then, how FoF teaching would ascribe the extravagant acting out of these desires to “higher” causes, since they are enacted by a “conscious being”. Thus the Teacher’s words and actions are judged, strangely, by a so-called “higher” standard, and vices are made out to be virtues. Attitudes or actions incongruent with the teaching of the majority of sages and teachers, previously understood by means of common sense, which implies the knowledge of one’s own nature and thus of other human beings’, is instead, mystified behind a counterfeit standard.
In transcending it, one does not leave behind one’s human nature, but rather “perfects” or purifies it. The Buddha taught purifying the mind and body through mindfulness and non-attachment, and compassion through his ethics, which requires at all times, the respecting of persons and their property. Even Christ, “the Son of God”, had no problem humiliating himself by following rules meant for ordinary, humble people. “I have not come to change one jot or tittle of the law, but to fulfil it.” In fulfilling and transcending the law, he not only did not abandon its basic tenets, but made it even more exacting, by extending its sovereignty ever more into our protected inner territory, as in his purifying teaching that one doesn’t have to act out adultery to have committed it; simply to have looked upon a woman with lust was to have committed it in one’s “heart”. Or in the beatitude “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”.
Although the FoF’s teaching has departed from the The Fourth Way, and the Fourth Way was at the outset only a root upon which RB’s teaching was grafted, the cosmological concept known as the Ray of Creation has added its burden to the belief that a conscious teacher is above the law. In the Ray of Creation, the earth is a very long way down, the last to the bottom-most rung, which terminates at the moon, an eater of souls. The further down the Ray of Creation, the more laws one is under. The object of the pupil is to free him/herself from these “unnecessary” laws and to put oneself under the influence of higher laws. Therefore, as has been said, according to FoF teaching, ordinary normative ethics apply only to those living in a lower level of consciousness, and are banished to that derogatory realm under the laws of “feminine dominance” (all the social rules one learned from one’s mother): that uncreative, mechanical region inhabited by dull “Life People”, sleeping machines, “who do not know themselves”, who understand little and who are capable of nothing else but the blind following of someone else’s arbitrary rules. Thus could RB reduce the loving acts of Mother Theresa, for example, to “mechanical goodness”, i.e., she just couldn’t help but help other people. In this dismissive and pseudo-majestical “dispensing of existence”, he thus relegated her and others who might be tempted to emulate her, to fodder for the moon. Would that we could all be like her, or Gandhi, so spontaneously self-sacrificing, generous and loving!
Under such teaching, one is asked to disbelieve what one’s senses and intuition know even without words, which is that Mother Theresa and Gandhi and others like them are doing good. Instead one is instructed to believe, counter-intuitively, and against one’s common sense, that the good actions of such people are at best useless, and at worst, evil (in the Fourth Way’s sense of evil as mechanicalness). This harsh gavel falls merely on the basis of one’s teacher conclusion that although these good people appear “awake”, they are in fact, asleep; they are definitively “unconscious beings”. The logic is this: When a “conscious being” does good, it really is good, but when a sleeping machine does good, . . .
One might ask: What could be more predictably, historically, humanly mechanical than the temptation to exploit one’s exalted position to indulge one’s every whim? Thrasymachus, a character in one of Plato’s dialogues, maintains, unsuccessfully, thank goodness, that as far as any real definition of justice is concerned, ‘Might makes right.’ I would be much more convinced, as I think most people would, of any person’s sanctity and claims to godliness (especially when the claim to divinity is exclusive of 6.5 billion other human beings on the planet) if such an exalted personage did NOT indulge their every whim, and did not, deplorably, attempt to twist vices into virtues, especially when those so-called virtues are paid for by the sweat and toil of others, while at the same time, wilfully inducing paralysis in one’s tender devotees and workers by wielding over their heads visions of spiritual extinction and the loss of all their friendships should they decide—at any point ever—to move on and to grow. I myself should be greatly vigilant if told: “The only way to graduate from the School is to die”.
But it is for each individual to decide amongst the possible motives for such statements and kinds of teaching. It could be useful to ask oneself why anyone, especially oneself, would say or teach such things. Best wishes to all.
20 years to leave…..
another former student Says:
January 20th, 2007 at 6:32 am
For me much said in the last several posts from former members rings true. I was in the Fellowship twenty-some years. As early as 1984 when Miles left I had the thought: “Well, it may be right for Miles to leave now, but I know that it isn’t right for me.” The seed was planted then and it took nearly 20 more years before it was right for me to leave… (passive type).
Early on I had developed a worldview differing from Robert’s, but generally kept it to myself, and did the necessary mental gymnastics needed to rationalize some of Robert’s views and actions. It took many years to finally realize the limitations of the intellectual center!! … It is true that the emotional center leaves first and it took years before the other centers got it together to leave also. The leaving process was difficult. I really enjoyed being in the Fellowship. I enjoyed what I was doing, the people and the many good aspects of the Fellowship…but the ship, as beautiful as it was, was going where I knew I could no longer go.
I think the important thing to remember is that one has to go through all of these stages for oneself and at ones own pace. It is all “grist for the mill.” So it makes no difference if one is reading this post from within or without the Fellowship. We are all… still on a train, going somewhere, though we may have changed seats or moved to another coach. Keep listening to the place within that knows. Best to you all.
“The FoF Business”
X Says:
January 24th, 2007 at 3:32 am
Many of us have joined this group because we had hopes to “know thyself”. Or – to be liberated, or – to achieve awakening. Some joined out of boredom to meet new friends, spouses, some were in need for a father figure. Some just wanted a visa to America! As time went by, some of us got visas, some got married and met friends. Lots of young insecure males (kind of like our friend Alexis) got their “daddy” feeding them and buying them clothes, and puling their pants down… Did anyone awake? Did someone got to know himself? I mean, honestly. Anyone liberated? No! No one! In almost 12,000 people that went through this school for over 30 years – no one got liberated. And if you think mister Girard got liberated – why don’t you ask him, or even better – go visit him at his house and see how (and what) he is doing … The reality is that lots of people got damaged emotionally and financially, got totally lost, entangled in themselves, broke down. Lots of people are so scared of the world that they are incapable to live their lives outside the Fellowship. Sounds really liberating, on all levels. Does it tell you something?
FOF is a great business, and the ONLY goal is – to make money. You are promised something you’ll never get, (well, not this lifetime, dear) and you asked to pay through the nose for it. Because you don’t know any better, or just get “hooked” on high states (just like a drug addict) – you get sucked in, brainwashed, and actually don’t mind paying. You start liking your cage after 10plus years! You defend it, and attack anyone who comes near.
Whatever the teacher does – he charges a lot for it. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, reception, meeing, picture taken with him – each of this will cost you from a 100 to 1000. The guy is simply raking it in. It’s all about the money.
Do you know for example, what is the main “task” for center directors? Help you to wake up? Assist you on your path? Not really. It is – To attract more members, recruit, catch, trap. Get the money! Get them to join! The “questionnare for directors” says: (I actually copy the original here)
Did you have activities to advertise the school? Please indicate yes or no in the list below.
Ads in Newspapers
Bookmarking
Brochures
Flyers
Newsletters
Open meeting
Others
Posters
Web site
Word of mouth
Please use the list below to indicate how many prospective students found us
Through Ads in Newspapers
Through Bookmarking
Through Brochures
Through Flyers
Through Newsletters
Through Open meeting
Through Others
Through Posters
Through Web site
Through Word of mouth
How many prospective students did you have participating in a first meeting?
How many students joined after the first meeting?
Did someone bring friends to the second meeting, if yes, how many?
How many prospective students did you have participating in a second meeting?
How many students joined after the second meeting?
You see for yourself – NOT A WORD ABOUT WAKING UP. NOT A WORD ABOUT LIBERATION. I wish I can send you a link so you can read it yourself – but it’s password protected site.
What does it tell you? Isn’t it just an agressive recruiting campaign? Why there is such a burning desire to attract members, may be to “wake people up”?
Well, because it brings 5 million a year in teaching payments, plus another 4-5 mil in additional charges for dinners, photos and such. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. Again, It’s all about the money.
And that would be almost fine, if the teacher gives you back. If he actually teaches you to wake up. Or -cares about your progress. Then – who care what it costs! But the truth us – HE DOESN’T CARE! AND HE HAS NO CLUE!!! He really has no idea how to be present, he cannot communicate a thing to his students. The bullshit he is saying lately is so absurd – even the “followers” are starting to loose faith. This is from “Anatomy of the Sequence”: However, Christ is behind Judas, and the nine of hearts is behind Christ, so Judas’ failure is ultimately the failure of the nine of hearts. – Huh?
Or read this: “His name was Gilgamesh from the very day of his birth”—from short Be—the birth of the steward. “He was two-thirds god, one-third man.” “One-third man” refers to short Be; “two-thirds god” refers to middle Be and long BE. Schools assume that if you successfully pass through middle Be, you will complete your sequence. – Sounds so 4th way! You joined the 4th way school, remember?
Or – this one: Following Robert’s recent comment that “behind the steward is the nine of hearts, and behind the nine of hearts is divine presence, and behind divine presence are Influence C, and behind Influence C is the Absolute,” we will aim at better
understanding the responsibility of the nine of hearts in this divine equation and how to ensure its proper work.
If this is not MADNESS, then – what is?
Sadly, many students are so conditioned, addicted and stuck, that they have no other way but listen, obey and believe. And, most importantly – PAY!
Again – if any of you for some crazy reason have a thought about joining this group – please don’t! Do yourself a favour and go elsewhere. This man, RB, has no clue about awakening, he has no clue about the nature of things – all he does is squeezes out money and sperm from people.
I am so happy to finally be out of it!
NO Freedom of Speech
John Says:
February 1st, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Please everyone. Let’s have a sense of proportion.
I am a current member of the Fellowship. While I now question my participation and many of the decisions I have made over the years of my membership, I have to admit that I never gave away a fortune, renounced my parents, or sold my children to the slave-traders.
I, too, have seen some of the extreme and fanatic behavior discussed above, but by framing the discussion around these extremes, we have driven current members from the board. That’s a shame.
In the last few years, I have watched as the idea of “angles of thought” has disappeared — that is, the idea that we all have a point of view that, while subjective, contributes to the whole. What has replaced it increasingly is an emphasis on conformity, on the “right” opinion issued from above. Nonconformity in thoughts or behavior can be reported on, sometimes with consequences.
That has driven many substantive discussions underground, unfortunately. I was hoping this might be a place where we might share our opinions in a safe, anonymous way, rather than a place to vent or issue position statements expressing opinions that were cast in cement long ago.
The Cult
X-man Says:
February 2nd, 2007 at 12:07 am
Dear John,
What proportion can be found in madness? Common sense is possible between normal and honest people.
You probably need to do some serious research about what EXACTLY is happening behind the scenes of the FOF.
And what is your motive of your arguments? Are you trying to convince us that we are wrong in our views and opinions? Or you are trying to find out the TRUTH about it.
I’ll tell you one thing for sure.Do you know why the exercise “avoiding all contacts with former students” is so active verses some other exercises which far more heavy but less are punished for?
The answer is very simple Mr.John,because when one is leaving the school that usually means that he or she gets dehypnotized and they begin to see things as they are which is very dangerous to other members and to the whole system which you call a “school”.
And in regards to your statement:-”I never gave away a fortune or sold my children to the slave-traders”-I can tell you that you probably did not have any thing to give away because if you would have some thing to give you would not be able to “get away” without “giving it away” first.
And slavery? What full is thinks of him as full? What “machine” is thinks of it as a “machine”? What slave is thinks of him as slave? Will slave continue to be a slave? Unless he broke or stupid he will not”.And that’s what happening to most of us who left and keep on leaving.
A destructive cults (and FOF is one of them) has very fine and smarty hidden ways of squeezing you like a lemon and keeping you a slave and “sell” it back to you like is a fortune.They takes from you the “diamonds” and gives you back all plastic.And guess what helps them do that to you? Your fear and your fanaticism which works for them and are preventing you from seeing the Truth!
Notes from Elena: The following letter is sincere and it is good to observe the “attitude” in it. The writer says, “Getting close to Robert and not getting burned was really the test.”
It is an amazing reality in the Fellowship that in the Fellowship it is a legitimate idea, to get “burned”, by the teacher.
“We are free to choose, (to get burned), or ………..”
leave.
another former student Says:
February 3rd, 2007 at 5:45 pm
The Fellowship does have a lot to offer. Inside the Fellowship the older students know very well that getting close to the teacher, which is the natural desire for most of the newer students, was equivalent to “getting close to the fire”. And it is common knowledge that if you get too close to the fire you might get burned. This is the logic that operates with most of the seasoned students. Getting close to Robert and not getting burned was really the test. Most of the students who have been there many years and are having success in their lives and aims have negotiated this difficult phase. It is accomplished in different ways and on different levels of understanding. One may argue that it is not really understanding but self-deception. I argue as a former member that no one but one self can know the difference (as psychologically tricky as this may sound). One should know ahead of time that the Fellowship, or the Fourth way for that matter, is a psychological minefield. We are free to choose or pick our own way.
Baleful Bedouin of Baloney Says:
February 6th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Perhaps it speaks poorly (yet again) of this Fellowship of Fiends, that so many of those touched by it remain self-pitying whiners even years after-the-fact. Embittered victims, the angry dwarfs of contemporary spirituality.
Look, I can be as disconcerted as anyone by the reported egregious behavior and excesses of their leader. And also by what appears, from the numerous accounts given (or linked to) here, to be a spiritual community rife with manipulation and delusory thinking. But I am also suspicious of such remarks as “these people ruined my life”; and suspicious of an underlying sentiment that I notice in a number of postings-by-the-injured (and by their instantly eager cheer-leaders).
First of all, was your life really ruined? Frankly, that reeks of exaggeration and narcissistic victim-hood. And, if the claim is even partially true — say, to the extent that you suffered financial or emotional hardship and lost valuable time — was it really this evil organization that ‘did’ those things to innocent, passive, helpless, wholesome you? I suspect the reality is far more complex. And far more interesting, too.
I am acquainted with Fourth Way literature, and will share a perception I always appreciated (from Ouspensky’s writings): “Blame is a buffer.” Didn’t you FOF-fers (former and current) ever delve into that one? Of course, Ouspensky’s observation would also apply to any tendency to ‘blame the victim,’ a policy I am by no means advocating. But all sides need to be seen.
Just for instance, what was it in YOU that made for your initial attraction to the organization, and (in some cases) your deep immersion in its worldview and psychology? Of course, the answer to that question will be many-layered, and different for each person. But it must be asked, gone into deeply, with answers fully owned up to.
Oh, excuse me, that has already been addressed on this blog, and in considerable detail, right? Let me recap (variation No. 4, on a theme for violino piccolo):
“The F.O.F. held out a promise of good things and got my hopes up, kind of seduced and hypnotized me for a while, ultimately disappointed me, but left me very dependent and fearful of leaving, which I finally did manage to do when I got totally disgusted and couldn’t stand it anymore.”
Sounds like a love affair. A lot like a love affair, maybe followed by marriage and divorce. In line with that comparison, I feel it is just too damn easy (read: mechanical) to take sides with the party who is doing all the talking, recounting the abuses, in the absence of the other voices and points of view that are surely out there.
I find it interesting that, now and again in the unfolding of this blog, a rare attempt, or hint thereof, has been made to open things up to a more multi-sided discussion. To wit, the recent posts 37, 39, and 43. These were promptly and aggressively stomped on by a particularly strident contributor, with much contempt and a bizarre kind of pontificating arrogance, in multiple postings.
So, Burton and Burtonians, where are you?! Why do you not speak? Better yet, you ambivalent ones from the land of F.O.F., weighing truth and falsehood for yourselves on the unusual path you have chosen. I’d like to hear more of what you have to say, preferably in an atmosphere of passionate (and compassionate) neutrality all around.
-BBB
October 19, 2008 at 9:39 am
There were four people I knew who had become conscious. They were all very close to the same age, early to mid twenties. All this occured in the middle to late 70’s. Those four people were the inner circle of the school. The only ones who knew they were in the circle were themselves and the teacher. All the other fellow students assumed that the inner circle was comprised of people who sat at the front of the meetings with Robert. Not so. Ironically, the LAST person to wake up in the four was the only one who ever sat at the front with Robert, on several occasions.
October 19, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I’d like to mention something else, now that I have just read through every single missive on this site. Someone remarked that no one ever left the fellowship for good reasons, just bad. That’s not correct. I left for good reasons. I left in 79, after having been in the school for 5 years. This wasn’t a snap decision, it was something I realized was being communicated to me. It was time for me to work on my own. I wasn’t really crazy about leaving my real friends. And I only heard about the alleged change in Robert many years later. And it made absolutely ZERO sense to me. The only way I can reconcile it is to realize that Robert was intentionally disbanding the school because his work was complete. What he put up in it’s place was so transparently a cliche of the eventual demise of all cults that I assumed it was significant. Some kind of fraud was being played out, to make him look like a predator, the purpose of which I probably will never know. But everything I’ve been reading about him for the last 10 years is simply NOT the person I knew. I witnessed magic almost EVERY DAY for five long years. And I intuitively knew that because it started out hidden, it had to remain hidden.
I knew many of the people mentioned. I haven’t thought of Richard, the hairdresser for years. A rather aloof saturn, in his way. I didn’t know at the time he was gay, but there was an odd thing he said once, in a casual moment, that made me realize that there was something psychologically off with him.
Robert was a joy to be around in those days. To hear that he is virtually inaccessible…well, for anyone else, I would think that his alleged behavior indicated an advanced stage of syphilus that was slowly destroying his brain. But personally, I think it’s all some act. At the same time, I can’t imagine why any of these people dissing him would lie. There’s no profit in it whatsoever.
I remember Girard from back then too. He was ALWAYS a self deluded individual. We would often laugh at him, secretly, behind our hands. Nevertheless, he was a nice enough fellow in his own way. Just a clueless true believer, in the Eric Hoffer sense. And one of the four people in the real inner circle was in fact a woman.
October 19, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I just remembered something else. Suppose these alleged sexual tryst’s did take place. If I had been asked, I would have simply declined. We once had an exercise to break a glass in a restaurant to work on inner considering. That was each student’s task. But I simply refused to do that. So WHAT that the teacher asked us to do it? It wasn’t HIS property. What, I’m supposed to willfully just destroy someone’s personal possessions because someone tells me to? I don’t care if he was the teacher. That had nothing to do with the teaching. My work on inner considering was about ME going against the masses of the fellowship and doing what I already KNEW was right.
Robert once asked me to call out to someone who was leaving the house. I suppose he didn’t want to shout himself. But I couldn’t DO IT! Shouting was no longer something I did. Instead, I ran after the person and caught up with him and told him the teacher wanted to speak to him. Nothing “bad” ever happened to me. Why should it?
Any bad experiences I had in the school always came from student robots, people trying to whip me into line. Which I simply refused to do because I was there for me, not them. Most of these robots had dead eyes. Especially that Linda character. Good Lord. When that place in San Francisco burned to the ground, I took it as an omen for her, since her last name was the same as the store. She was such a fraud. And she had the eyes of a swine.
October 19, 2008 at 9:36 pm
For reasons that surpass understanding, my earlier comment on the real inner circle of the school, which existed in the mid to late 70’s only, has been removed. I’m not sure why. But I’ll reiterate. There were four such people, one of whom was a woman. Of the four, only one of them ever sat at the front during large meetings. The other three NEVER did. And NONE of the regulars who sat at the front were ever part of the inner circle. The inner circle is something one gets into because of SOMETHING THEY KNOW that no one else knows. And once you know this something, it’s absolutely transparent to you who else also knows it. Nothing needs to be said at all. One look and it’s quite apparent.
February 9, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Test
February 9, 2009 at 5:52 pm
As of today, I’ll be using this site to continue the work on The Rape of the Mind and Cults.
I hope it’s O.K. with Pavel and Animam Recro, if not, please let me know.
February 9, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Text 1
I’ll use ======= double lines when I want to pay special attention to a part of the text and ______ when I am making a comment.
_____The parallel between cults and totalitarian environments is probably much studied already by many but I have not seen them here yet. All the information in this text seems relevant to those of us who have endured cult life for any period of time. This is only the beginning for me but my suspicion is that while totalitarian environments apparently tend to explode at some point because the people submitted to it finally oppose it, cults tend to implode because the people who willingly submit to it, finally commit suicide. The aim of the cult to annihilate the “I” of the individual finally reaches its culminating point when the member himself takes his own life independently or with the group.
THE RAPE OF THE MIND
PART ONE — THE TECHNIQUES OF INDIVIDUAL SUBMISSION
The first part of this book is devoted to various techniques used to make man a meek conformist. In addition to actual political occurrences, attention is called to some ideas born in the laboratory and to the drug techniques that facilitate brainwashing. The last chapter deals with the subtle psychological mechanisms of mental submission.
______Meek conformism is what allows for the systematic rape of young men and the total surrender of the members integrity economically, emotionally and intellectually.
CHAPTER ONE — YOU TOO WOULD CONFESS
A fantastic thing is happening in our world. Today a man is no longer punished only for the crimes he has in fact committed. Now he may be compelled to confess to crimes that have been conjured up by his judges, who use his confession for political purposes. It is not enough for us to damn as evil those who sit in judgment. We must understand what impels the false admission of guilt; we must take another look at the human mind in all its frailty and vulnerability.
_____Confession in cults is a common practice. I once paid 1200 dollars for having sex out of marriage.
The Enforced Confession
During the Korean War, an officer of the United States Marine Corps, Colonel Frank H. Schwable, was taken prisoner by the Chinese Communists. After months of intense psychological pressure and physical degradation, he signed a well documented “confession” that the United States was carrying on bacteriological warfare against the enemy. The confession named names, cited missions, described meetings and strategy conferences. This was a tremendously valuable propaganda tool for the totalitarians. They cabled the news all over the world: “The United States of America is fighting the peace loving people of China by dropping bombs loaded with disease spreading bacteria, in violation of international law.”
After his repatriation, Colonel Schwable issued a sworn statement repudiating his confession, and describing his long months of imprisonment. Later, he was brought before a military court of inquiry. He testified in his own defense before that court: “I was never convinced in my own mind that we in the First Marine Air Wing had used bug warfare. I knew we hadn’t, but the rest of it was real to me the conferences, the planes, and how they would go about their missions.”
_______The whole precept of this parallel must understand the difference in the initial situation. In prison camps the people are submitted and physical coercion is the rule while in the Fellowship Cult people submit willingly and mental and emotional coercion is the rule. Both environments are especially conditioned. While in the former, “life” (probably) circles around instinctive necessities in the latter, it is channelled towards superfluous achievements that heighten the guru’s “powers” of accomplishment. (Must research this more). The rigor in either environment is nevertheless similar although in the one it is imposed while in the other it is submissive.
“The words were mine,” the Colonel continued, “but the thoughts were theirs. That is the hardest thing I have to explain: how a man can sit down and write something he knows is false, and yet, to sense it, to feel it, to make it seem real.”
_____All of Girard Haven’s work is a masterpiece of this phenomenon.
This is the way Dr. Charles W. Mayo, a leading American physician and government representative, explained brainwashing in an official statement before the United Nations: “…the tortures used…although they include many brutal physical injuries, are not like the medieval torture of the rack and the thumb screw. They are subtler, more prolonged, and intended to be more terrible in their effect.
=======They are calculated to disintegrate the mind of an intelligent victim, to distort his sense of values, to a point where he will not simply cry out ‘I did it!’ but will become a seemingly willing accomplice to the complete disintegration of his integrity and the production of an elaborate fiction.”======
_____The elaborate fiction in the Fellowship couldn’t be more pathetic than in the culmination of the rhino poo; The eternal blah, blah, blah of quotes stolen from unreachable conscious beings and the unending elaborate events in which nothing but the event happens producing the delusion that something “very important” happened where nothing happened. The physical phenomena took place but no one but the guru or enabler representing him, spoke and reinstated the reassuring doctrine that something very important is taking place, that what the members are paying for is of utmost significance and that they are receiving what only the chosen ones can receive.
The member is trapped by the “event” itself. Because it is taking place in the physical realm he deludes himself with the conviction that something truly significant is happening in his/her life.
February 9, 2009 at 8:55 pm
70. elena – January 21, 2009
Continued from THE RAPE OF THE MIND: The Psychology of Thought Control, Menticide, and Brainwashing, by Joost A. M. Meerloo, M.D.
Peaceful exchange of free thoughts in free conversation will disturb the conditioned reflexes and is therefore taboo. No longer are there any brains, only conditioned patterns and educated muscles. In such a taming system neurotic compulsion is looked upon as a positive asset instead of something pathological. The mental automaton becomes the ideal of education.
Yet the Soviet theoreticians themselves are often unaware of this, and many of them do not realize the dire consequences of subjecting man to a completely mechanistic conditioning. They themselves are often just as frightened as we are by the picture of the perfectly functioning human robot. This is what one of their psychologists says: “The entire reactionary nature of this approach to man is completely clear. Man is an automaton who can be caused to act as one wills! This is the ideal of capitalism! Behold the dream of capitalism the world over a working class without consciousness, which cannot think for itself, whose actions can be trained according to the whim of the exploiter! This is the reason why it is in America, the bulwark of present day capitalism, that the theory of man as a robot has been so vigorously developed and so stubbornly held to.” (Bauer)
Questions:
Are cults flourishing so powerfully in America precisely because a significant number of people are already very susceptible to the psychological submission needed to make the cult possible?
How does the already dismembered family in the developed countries, make the individual prone to adopting a cult family, in which in reality, there is no family at all but total commitment to the guru-dictator and life is reduced to the mechanical economic supply for the cult?
What fills the difference between regular cults in which people are simply made psychological slaves, to satanic cults in which people become criminals that allow for abuse and murder of children and virgins?
Does the allowance of the Cult-Guru to invade one’s personal integrity economically as much as psychologically create such a disconnection between the personality that submits to the treatment and one’s self that one is then impeded to perceive the rape of young men or the humiliation of the members in all aspects of their lives as social crime? By accepting the treatment on one’s self, do one’s standards on what is criminal become so vague that the systematic rape of young men and other abuses are perceived as NORMAL?
How does one’s relation to one’s self determine one’s relation to society? In the experience of the integrity of one’s own being, how does one perceive the integrity of others?
How do personal aberrations condition one’s perceptions of social reality?
I would like to clarify that I am not looking for scapegoats. It is my belief that all human beings, ALL, even the worst criminals, are yearning for UNITY. The problem is not in the “yearning”, but in the realization of that yearning.
The attempt to understand the relationship between the individual and him self or her self and society must necessarily be approached with great compassion. As Jesus said “let he who is free of sin, throw the first stone” (paraphrasing).
My short life has been long enough to understand that consciously evil people are rare while unconsciously good people are the majority. Unfortunately it is the unconsciously evil people who take advantage of the unconsciously good people and all forms of life of our societies today are tainted with criminality.
I understand “crime” as any form of abuse of one individual to another: Verbal, physical, psychological or social. We live in a state of crime! Even people who have never met have criminal relationships to each other. The invasion of a nation by another is criminal. The invasion of anyone’s integrity, economically, psychologically or culturally is criminal. “Invasion” is not the same as “relationship”. The mutual flow of communication between people and nations is not an invasion. Invasion always includes some form of abuse.
I believe that the purpose of our times is to understand the impediments each of us as an individual is suffering and how that affects our relationship with society. The longing for unity is not simply a religious longing for enlightenment, it is a very practical reality that is consistently expressed in our everyday life and our ability to connect with each other.
Love is not an abstraction. It manifests itself in every step we give or neglects to manifest. “Sharing” is not a metaphor; the way we are willing to practically share this piece of cake on which we happen to live or whatever the “cake” happens to be determines our ability to “connect” and that connection our ability to “unify”. Love, real love, is the only force able to lead us to unity.
All of life is nothing but a metaphor of our spiritual reality. The cake we share in our birthdays is a microcosmic theater of this big beautiful and round cake called Earth, that we are to learn to share if we are to celebrate our birth as human beings.
Life today is still far from human. The ideal of humanity pulsates in each individual but from the ideal to reality there is time and eternity. Each individual can actualize the ideal each moment of his or her life or neglect it. Each individual lives in the struggle to be or not to be and what we each need to understand is that each moment of our lives presents us with the opportunity to be more human, to love and to share.
Life is the harp that every individual is trying to play and music, the mastery with which we are able to connect. Each man is a string: there is no music without connection.
The main characteristic of life today is the search for scapegoats. Individually and socially, nationally and internationally, people are satisfied with finding a scapegoat that will lighten their own responsibility in the crime! We lynch every person we insult, we insult every person we neglect, we neglect every person we don’t consider. The inability to consider others is an aspect of our unconsciousness or rather, of the limited consciousness in which an individual can perceive only the reality of himself and not a reality in which all are included with objective rights and opportunities.
The System of Subjective Privileges conditioned by preferences without personal or social objectivity in every institution and social strata is one of the sources of injustice. In the subjectivity of love, of equality, of rights, there can be no objective justice. Love conditioned by personal preferences is not human but beastly. Not animal, but inhuman. In their natural state, there is no cruelty in animals.
The exploration of our personal and social impediments is not pretty. To see our selves and every aspect of our beauty as much as our misery, is not flattering but to neglect to look at our selves is blindness. Every human being must be able to examine his and her life with enough compassion and detachment to recognize where he/she erred and where she/he was successful. The parameter is very simple: how human can you be?
23. elena – January 19, 2009
Thank you all for your posts. I hope you don’t mind if I work on this subject a little each day while you continue the discussion; hopefully you can jump back and forth if you like to leap. Looking at the things the Fellowship stood for I am not surprised that most ex-members would rather nobody knew the level of ridicule and horror that we managed to reduce our lives to but since that level has become common in most cults and average life, I find it necessary to take a good look at it. What is surprising is that many of us lived with those assumptions for decades without ever questioning them in public. Long live the Public Square!
Text 8. Excerpts taken from THE RAPE OF THE MIND: The Psychology of Thought Control, Menticide, and Brainwashing, by Joost A. M. Meerloo, M.D.
What the Pavlovian council tries to achieve is the result of an oversimplification of psychology. Their political task is to condition and mold man’s mind so that its comprehension is confined to a narrow totalitarian concept of the world. (cont.)It is the idea that such a limitation of thinking to Lenin Marxist theoretical thinking must be possible for two reasons: =====first, if one repeats often enough its simplification, and second, if one withholds any other form of interpretation of reality.=====
_____The narrow concepts of the world in The Fellowship of Friends Cult that I can presently remember:
Man is a machine (misinterpreted from the Fourth Way)
You can only awaken in your ninth lifetime and 99.99 % of you are between your fifth and eigth lifetime.
All men are sleep.
Robert Burton is the only conscious being on planet earth.
The Fellowship of Friends Cult is the only conscious school on planet earth.
Robert Burton is second only to Jesus Christ
Read only conscious beings
Repeat the sequence and you’ll awaken
Remember yourself always and everywhere
Work on yourself and only yourself
This concept is based on the naive belief that one can permanently suppress any critical function and verification in human thinking. Yet, through taming and conditioning of people, during which period errors and deviations must continually be corrected, unwittingly a critical sense is built up. True, at the same time the danger of using this critical sense is brought home to the students. They know the dangers of any dissent, but even this promotes the development of a secondary and more refined critical sense. In the end, human rebellion and dissent cannot be suppressed; they await only one breath of freedom in order to awake once more. The idea that there exist other ways to truth than those he sees close at hand lives somewhere in everybody. One can narrow his pathways of research and expression, but a man’s belief in adventurous new roads elsewhere is ever present in the back of his mind.
The inquisitive human mind is never satisfied with a simple recital of facts. As soon as it observes a set of data, it jumps into the area of theory and offers explanations, but the way a man sees a set of facts, and the way he juggles them to build them into a theory is largely determined by his own biases and prejudices.
Isolation and Other Factors in Conditioning
Pavlov made another significant discovery: the conditioned reflex could be developed most easily in a quiet laboratory with a minimum of disturbing stimuli. Every trainer of animals knows this from his own experience; isolation and the patient repetition of stimuli are required to tame wild animals. Pavlov formulated his findings into a general rule in which the speed of learning is positively correlated with quiet and isolation. =======The totalitarians have followed this rule. They know that they can condition their political victims most quickly if they are kept in isolation. In the totalitarian technique of thought control, the same isolation applied to the individual is applied also to groups of people. ======This is the reason the civilian populations of the totalitarian countries are not permitted to travel freely and are kept away from mental and political contamination. It is the reason, too, for the solitary confinement cell and the prison camp.
Mass Conditioning Through Speech
In the Pavlovian strategy, terrorizing force can finally be replaced by a new organization of the means of communication. Ready made opinions can be distributed day by day through press, radio, and so on, again and again, till they reach the nerve cell and implant a fixed pattern of thought in the brain.
_______In the Fellowship Cult:
Daily Cards
Quotations by the “Conscious Beings”
Girard Haven’s books, lectures and events.
Robert Burton’s book, quotations, publications of meeting, videos and events.
The fact that ONLY Robert Burton and Girard Haven were allowed to speak in the past four years before 2007 are significant. In the years previous to that, ONLY the enablers were allowed to speak. The Dambecks, Taylors and maybe thirty others. The amazing thing about this people is that they don’t just think that they have a right to private property like regular people think they have, they think that speech, self-expression and love, or the right to give people opportunities, has fallen on their hands by the power of the ONLY CONSCIOUS BEING ON PLANET EARTH and they have been CHOSEN AS THE ONLY ONES with a right to PRACITICE them, while the rest of the members, ALL EQUALLY BEGGERS, MUST OBEY. The sad thing about each of these enablers is that they control everybody else’s expression but give absolute freedom to their own very personal dictator. The reign of the Havens, Dambecks, Taylors, etc is coming to as tragic an end as was expected from such a System and now the reign of the Asafs, Dorians and company is being firmly implanted. WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING FOR THIS TO CONTINUE? The inhuman manipulation of power is as sick in the Fellowship of Friends Cult as in totalitarian state. What makes it a thousand times more corrupted is that it is achieved by the spiritual manipulation of the member’s good will.
The power and success of the indoctrination is so thorough in the Fellowship of Friends Cult that the aim of every male member was to imitate Girard Haven and Robert Burton. Many ex-members still move and talk like them. Dambeck, Kevin B., and the many others who have appeared on the blog are such faithful imitations of Girard Haven, that I who am his wife cannot differentiate between one or the other in their expression. The assumption was that the more a male student looked, acted and expressed himself like Girard Haven or Robert Burton, the more awake he was becoming!
(Yuk, it’s time to throw up again. Does it surprise anyone that confronted with a Daily Cardiac on the blog, my reaction is immediately triggered towards the connection with Girard Haven? The feeling of love and hate quickly arise.)
(cont) Such is the Pavlovian device: repeat mechanically your assumptions and suggestions, diminish the opportunity of communicating dissent and opposition. This is the simple formula for political conditioning of the masses. This is also the actual ideal of some of our public relation machines, who thus hope to manipulate the public into buying a special soap or voting for a special party.
The Pavlovian strategy in public relations has people conditioned more and more to ask themselves, “What do other people think?” As a result, a common delusion is created: people are incited to think what other people think, and thus public opinion may mushroom out into a mass prejudice.
Expressed in psychoanalytic terms, through daily propagandistic noise backed up by forceful verbal cues, people can more and more be forced to identify with the powerful noisemaker. Big Brother’s voice resounds in all the little brothers.
59. elena – January 21, 2009
Text 9 20th Jan 2009
Political Conditioning
Political conditioning should not be confused with training or persuasion or even indoctrination. It is more than that. It is tampering. It is taking possession of both the simplest and the most complicated nervous patterns of man. It is the battle for the possession of the nerve cells. It is coercion and enforced conversion. Instead of conditioning man to an unbiased facing of reality, the seducer conditions him to catchwords, verbal stereotypes, slogans, formulas, symbols. Pavlovian strategy in the totalitarian sense means imprinting prescribed reflexes on a mind that has been broken down. The totalitarian wants first the required response from the nerve cells, then control of the individual, and finally control of the masses. The system starts with verbal conditioning and training by combining the required stereotypes with negative or positive stimuli: pain, or reward. In the P.O.W. camps in Korea where there was individual and mass brainwashing, the negative and positive conditioning stimuli were usually hunger and food. The moment the soldier conformed to the party line his food ration was improved: say yes, and I’ll give you a piece of candy!
______Political conditioning as described above is a reality in Cult conditioning with the use of exactly similar techniques.
In the Fellowship Cult, the more you conform and pay, the more attention you get from Robert Burton. What is interesting about this is that what members become addicted to is attention from Burton because that attention means their “being” and even “higher level of being” is recognized by the “divine being”, living out a constant competition with the rest of the members for that psychological recognition that grants them the “right to be” as if they had lost it somewhere or had never had it. A similar phenomenon occurs with Girard Haven, the man that Burton predicted would become the second conscious being in the “School” and therefore, planet earth since the Fellowship of Friends was the only conscious school in the whole planet!
How easily vanity corrupts!
It’s worth mentioning that the whole structure is designed to elicit and strengthen a secondary personality that has been tamed to want nothing more than to be valued by the guru and the rest of the members and great personal efforts are made by each individual to reach that goal which is never reached in a cult because the guru cannot grant merit to anyone but himself. The whole structure would crumble if anyone else were able to achieve the gurus qualifications from his own personal effort because he would no longer need the guru or the cult.
Every normal individual’s natural inclination for social participation is turned against him to induce him into perceiving other members as threats rather than friends. The competition for recognition from the guru, in addition to all the other anti-social practices, isolate him into a psychological prison much more real than if he were put behind bars.
_____
Many victims of totalitarianism have told me in interviews that the most upsetting experience they faced in the concentration camps was the feeling of loss of logic, the state of confusion into which they had been brought the state in which nothing had any validity. They had arrived at the Pavlovian state of inhibition, which psychiatrists call mental disintegration or depersonalization. It seemed as if they had unlearned all their former responses and had not yet adopted new ones. But in reality they simply did not know what was what.
______The loss of moral, ethical, spiritual and even material values increases daily in that state of confusion and anything the Guru does is perceived as a confirmation of his divinity!
…Pavlovian training can be used successfully only when special mental conditions prevail. In order to tame people into the desired pattern, victims must be brought to a point where they have lost their alert consciousness and mental awareness. Freedom of discussion and free intellectual exchange hinder conditioning. Feelings of terror, feelings of fear and hopelessness, of being alone, of standing with one’s back to the wall, must be instilled.
_____In cults, the terror is essentially psychological. The terror that the world is going to end and only the few chosen ones in the cult know about it. The fear of not being prepared and the hopelessness of knowing that no one in the cult or outside of it can be increasing the uncertainty and inducing the members into remaining “just in case”. In the individual arena: the terror of not being good enough to be approved by the guru or other members, the hopelessness of all effort.
How frail is trust.
Although not addressed in most of these texts, it is worth exploring the emotions that are tampered with and severely weakened by life in the cult. Self-trust or confidence and trust in other human beings are replaced by blind reliance on the guru. Dignity: all the members walk with a dignity sawn to the hem of their clothing, the cult uniform but without a sense of self worth. (Must expand).
_______
The treatment of American prisoners of war in the Korean P.O.W. camps followed just such a pattern. They were compelled to listen to lectures and other forms of daily word barrage. The very fact that they did not understand the lectures and were bored by the long sessions inhibited their democratic training, and conditioned them to swallow passively the bitter doctrinal diet, for the prisoners were subjected not only to a political training program, but also to an involuntary taming program.
_____The “TAMING PROGRAM” faithfully describes life in the Fellowship of Friends Cult. The systematic conditioning into a particular behaviour, personally and socially. Physically by how members should move and dress; emotionally by how members should maintain disconnected to each other on one level and how they should connect to each other on a another level; intellectually by what and how they should think, talk about and read: the sequence, quotes by authors chosen by Burton and Burton, quotes and thought processes presented by Girard Haven.
______
To some degree the Communist propaganda lectures were directed toward retraining the prisoners’ minds. This training our soldiers could reject, but the endless repetitions and the constant sloganizing, together with the physical hardships and deprivations the prisoners suffered, caused an UNCONSCIOUS TAMING and conditioning, against which only previously built up inner strength and awareness could help.
_____UNCONSCIOUS TAMING is an even more accurate word. Complete unconscious taming that after a few years of being submitted to it, members can no longer react to.
_______
…Often those with a rigid, simple belief were better able to withstand the continual barrage against their minds than were the flexible, sophisticated ones, full of doubt and inner conflicts. The simple man with deep rooted, freely absorbed religious faith could exert a much greater inner resistance than could the complex, questioning intellectualist. The refined intellectual is much more handicapped by the internal pros and cons.
In totalitarian countries, where belief in Pavlovian strategy has assumed grotesque proportions, the self thinking, subjective man has disappeared. There is an utter rejection of any attempt at persuasion or discussion. Individual self expression is taboo. Private affection is taboo.
Peaceful exchange of free thoughts in free conversation will disturb the conditioned reflexes and is therefore taboo. No longer are there any brains, only conditioned patterns and educated muscles. In such a taming system neurotic compulsion is looked upon as a positive asset instead of something pathological. The mental automaton becomes the ideal of education.
_______These last two paragraphs could not describe the Fellowship of Friends better: Not only is exchange of free thoughts extinguished from the social life of the cult, even in private dinners amongst members, the conversation is reduced to stereotyped formulas. The neurotic compulsion of the individuals, particularly Burton’s and other enablers is looked at as the difficulties they are struggling against because of the high energy levels of consciousness that they have to deal with. Members invent no matter what rationalization to justify the compulsive behaviour of those in positions of authority and their own which increasingly becomes equally erratic.
60. elena – January 21, 2009
Text 9a.
In totalitarian countries, where belief in Pavlovian strategy has assumed grotesque proportions, the self thinking, subjective man has disappeared. There is an utter rejection of any attempt at persuasion or discussion. Individual self expression is taboo. Private affection is taboo.
_______This is the most significant aspect of the “TAMING” in cults:
No discussion, self-expression is taboo and private affection is taboo.
People are experienced as enemies for whom affection cannot be expressed. The few friends that people make are connected to the hierarchy in relation to the Guru granting them little privileges. “Inner circles” that he manipulates at will.
Any group of people whose system of values is questioned tends to react similarly to the person questioning them and they will do anything to isolate him or her from them selves.
The blog phenomenon is a valid verification of this reality.
The suctioning of emotional communication with the subject has an effect for some time and can be lethal if the subject cannot overcome his or her dependency on the group but it loses its impact if the subject frees him or herself, just as a lover would recover from a love that was not responded to, as soon as he or she stops being identified with the person.
The result is freedom from his or her own personal submission to the group and freedom from the group’s values, reinforcing his or her personal convictions. This is a necessary process in the public life of any individual.
Where there is a retrieving of emotional energy from the person doing the questioning, the group wishes to punish the person by ostracizing him or her emotionally, never seriously addressing the questions especially when they cannot rationally be opposed. The group is challenged intellectually but being unable to respond rationally, it retrieves emotional energy or love from the person that threatens their status quo.
As much as love is a desirable element in all human interactions, a man or a woman must stand beyond love and still be. The Sun can never turn against itself.
Text 11. The Rape of the Mind.
Western psychology and psychiatry, although acknowledging its debt to Pavlov as a great pioneer who made important contributions to our understanding of behaviour, takes a much less mechanical view of man than do the Soviet Pavlovians. It is apparent to us that their simple explanation of training ignores and rejects the concept of purposeful adaptation and the question of the goals to which this training is directed. Western experimental psychologists tend to see the conditioned reflex as developing fully only in the service of gratifying basic instinctual needs or of avoiding pain, that is, only when the whole organism is concerned in the activity. In that complicated process of response to the world, conscious, and especially unconscious, drives and motivations play a role.
All training, of which the conditioned response is only one example, is an automatization of actions which were originally consciously learned and thought over. The ideal of Western democratic psychology is to train men into independence and maturity by enlisting their conscious aid, awareness, and volition in the learning process. The ideal of the totalitarian psychology, on the other hand, is to tame men, to make them willing tools in the hands of their leaders. Like training, taming has the purpose of making actions automatic; unlike training, it does not require the conscious participation of the learner. Both training and taming are energy and timesaving devices, and in both the mystery of the psyche is hidden in the purposefulness of the responses. The automatization of functions in man saves him expenditure of energy but can make him weaker when encountering new unexpected challenges.
Cultural routinization and habit formation by local rules and myths make of everybody a partial automaton. National and racial prejudices are acted out unwittingly. Group hatred often bursts out almost automatically when triggered by slogans and catchwords. In a totalitarian world, this narrow disciplinarian conditioning is done more “perfectly” and more “ad absurdum.”
The Urge to Be Conditioned
One suggestion this chapter is not intended to convey is that Pavlovian conditioning as such is something wrong. This kind of conditioning occurs everywhere where people are together in common interaction. The speaker influences the listener, but the listener also the speaker. Through the process of conditioning people often learn to like and to do what they are allowed to like and do. The more isolated the group, the stricter the conditioning that takes place in those belonging to the group. In some groups one finds people more capable than others of conveying suggestion and bringing about conditioning. Gradually one can discern the stronger ones, the better adjusted ones, the more experienced ones, and those noisier ones, whose ability to condition others is strongest. Every group, every club, every society has its leading Pavlovian Bell. This kind of person imprints his inner bell ringing on others. He can even develop a system of monolithic bell ringing: no other influential bell is allowed to compete with him.
Another subtler question belongs to these problems. Why is there in us so great an urge to be conditioned, the urge to learn, to imitate, to conform, and to follow the pattern of family and group? This urge to be conditioned, to submit to the communal pattern and the family pattern must be related to man’s dependency on parents and fellow men. Animals are not so dependent on one another. In the whole animal kingdom man is one of the most helpless and naked beings. But among the animals man has, relatively, the longest youth and time for learning.
Puzzlement and doubt, which inevitably arise in the training process, are the beginnings of mental freedom. Of course, the initial puzzlement and doubt is not enough. Behind that there has to be faith in our democratic freedoms and the will to fight for it. I hope to come back to this central problem of faith in moral freedom as differentiated from conditioned loyalty and servitude in the last chapter. Puzzlement and doubt are, however, already crimes in the totalitarian state. The mind that is open for questions is open for dissent. In the totalitarian regime the doubting, inquisitive, and imaginative mind has to be suppressed. The totalitarian slave is only allowed to memorize, to salivate when the bell rings.
It is not my task here to elaborate on the subject of the biased use of Pavlovian rules by totalitarians, but without doubt part of the interpretation of any psychology is determined by the ways we think about our fellow human beings and man’s place in nature. If our ideal is to make conditioned zombies out of people, the current misuse of Pavlovianism will serve our purpose. But once we become even vaguely aware that in the totalitarian picture of man the characteristic human note is missing, and when see that in such a scheme man sacrifices his instinctual desires, his pleasures, his aims, his goals, his creativity, his instinct for freedom, his paradoxicality, we immediately turn against this political perversion of science. Such use of Pavlovian technique is aimed only at developing the automaton in man, not his free alert mind that is aware of moral goals and aims in life.
Even in laboratory animals we have found that affective goal directedness can spoil the Pavlovian experiment. When, during a bell food training session, the dog’s beloved master entered the room, the animal lost all its previous conditioning and began to bark excitedly. Here is a simple example of an age old truth: love and laughter break through all rigid conditioning. The rigid automaton cannot exist without spontaneous self expression.
____This must be a mistake, originally it probably said: the rigid automaton cannot coexist with spontaneous self expression.
Apparently, the fact that the dog’s spontaneous affection for his master could ruin all the mechanical calculations and manipulations never occurred to Pavlov’s totalitarian students.
_______In relation to the question above on why human beings tend to conform and imitate, one plausible explanation is that we are in fact like psychological copies of our forbearers. The more I look at people the more we seem to be faithful copies of those who brought us up. As people get older the semblance with their parents becomes more obvious, As one observes one’s children, the faithful unconscious copy of one’s acts in a much deeper sense than merely the physiological is shocking. Things that I might have already overcome they are just beginning to deal with. It’s strange. As if we spent the whole of our lives following the path that was inevitably designed for us without ever activating our will. Most people don’t even want to conceive of anything beyond the established parameters.
Not identifying with one’s self in the long run is about separating from all that programming. It’s a strange ride we’re on. The most amazing, terrible and great adventure film doesn’t come even close.
I’ve been recovering my family. It feels good. We had little chances of recovering even up to last year. Things change when people are dying. The proximity of death reveals the things that matter. My stepmother with whom we’ve managed to recover a closeness that had been lost since I was twelve began chemotherapy last week but we’re hoping the cancer is not so severe and that she can be helped.
24. elena – January 19, 2009
Of course, the truly Pavlovian behavior is obvious in every aspect of The Fellowship of Friend’s life, from lining up to a meeting, to watching videos of Robert while having lunch, dressing up in the morning and changing clothes three or four times for the respective event. It keeps the members busy convinced that they are living out their lives with great effort and care. Unfortunately they are and we all were, the faithful picture of circus little poodles in their colourful bows. “Barbies” who ring their identity from the brand of their tie and the model of the car.
Who would have thought that “teaching” in our gold alchemy little brothel, run side by side to the most corrupted techniques of totalitarian indoctrination.
25. elena – January 19, 2009
Cult suicide
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A cult suicide is a term used to describe the mass suicide by the members of groups that have been considered as cults. [1] In some cases all, or nearly all members have committed suicide at the same time and place. Groups which have committed such mass suicides and who have been called cults include Heaven’s Gate, Order of the Solar Temple, Peoples Temple (in the Jonestown incident) and the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God. In other cases, such as Filippians and the Taiping, a group has apparently supported mass suicide but without necessarily encouraging all members to participate.
Peoples Temple
Main article: Jonestown
On November 18, 1978, 918 Americans died in Peoples Temple-related incidents, including 909 members of the Temple, led by Jim Jones, in Jonestown, Guyana.[2] The dead included 274 children. A tape of the Temple’s final meeting in a Jonestown pavilion contains repeated discussions of the group committing “revolutionary suicide,” including reference to people taking the poison and the vats to be used.[3] On that tape, Jones tells Temple members that Russia, with whom the Temple had been negotiating a potential exodus for months, would not take them after the Temple had murdered Congressman Leo Ryan, NBC reporter Don Harris and three others at a nearby airstrip.[3] When members apparently cried, Jones counseled “Stop this hysterics. This is not the way for people who are Socialists or Communists to die. No way for us to die. We must die with some dignity.”[3] At the end of the tape, Jones concludes: “We didn’t commit suicide, we committed an act of revolutionary suicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world.”[3] The people in Jonestown died of an apparent cyanide poisoning, except for Jones (injury consistent with self-inflicted gunshot wound) and his personal nurse.[4] The Temple had spoken of committing “revolutionary suicide” in prior instances, and members had previously drunk what Jones told them was poison at least once before, but the “Flavor Aid” drink they ingested contained no poison.[5] Concurrently, four other members died in the Temple’s headquarters in Georgetown.
[edit]Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God
On March 17, 2000, 778 members of the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God died in Uganda.[6] The theory that all of the members died in a mass suicide was changed to mass murder when decomposing bodies were discovered in pits with signs of strangulation while others had stab wounds.[7] The group had diverged from the Roman Catholic Church in order to emphasize apocalypticism and alleged Marian apparitions.[8] The group had been called inward-looking movement that wore matching uniforms and restricted their speech to avoid saying anything dishonest or sinful.[9][10] On the suicide itself locals said they held a party at which 70 crates of soft drinks and three bulls were consumed.[11]
This version of events has been criticized, most notably Irving Hexham,[12] and a Ugandan source states that even today “no one can really explain the whys, hows, whats, where, when, etc.”[13]
[edit]Solar Temple
From 1994 to 1997, the Order of the Solar Temple’s members began a series of mass suicides, which led to roughly 74 deaths. Farewell letters were left by members, stating that they believed their deaths would be an escape from the “hypocrisies and oppression of this world.” Added to this they felt they were “moving on to Sirius.” Records seized by the Quebec police showed that some members had personally donated over $1 million to the cult’s leader, Joseph Di Mambro.
There was also another attempted mass suicide of the remaining members, which was thwarted in the late 1990s. All the suicide/murders and attempts occurred around the dates of the equinoxes and solstices, which likely held some relation to the beliefs of the group.[14][15][16][17][18]
[edit]Heaven’s Gate
On March 26, 1997, 39 followers of Heaven’s Gate died in a mass suicide in Rancho Santa Fe, California, which borders San Diego to the north. These people believed, according to the teachings of their cult, that through their suicides they were “exiting their human vessels” so that their souls could go on a journey aboard a spaceship they believed to be following comet Hale-Bopp.[19] Some male members of the cult underwent voluntary castration in preparation for the genderless life they believed awaited them after the suicide.[20] On March 30, 1997, Robert Leon Nichols, a former roadie for the Grateful Dead, was discovered dead in his California trailer, with a note nearby that read in part “I’m going to the spaceship with Hale-Bopp to be with those who have gone before me.” Using propane gas rather than vodka and phenobarbital to end his life, Nichols, like the members of Heaven’s Gate, had his head covered by a plastic bag and his upper torso covered with a purple shroud. Nichols’ connection with the cult is unknown.
In May 1997, two Heaven’s Gate members who had not been present for the mass suicide attempted suicide, one succeeding in the attempt, the other going into coma for two days and then recovering.[21] In February 1998 the survivor, Chuck Humphrey, committed suicide.[22]
Las Cañadas suicide sect scare
Heidi Fittkau-Garthe, a German psychologist, and a previously high-profile Brahma Kumaris, was charged in the Canary Islands with a plot of murder-suicide in which 31 group members, including five children, were to ingest poison. After the suicides, they were told they would be picked up by a spaceship and taken to an unspecified destination.[29] However a more recent article in Tenerife News casts doubt that there was any intention on the part of the group to commit suicide.[30]
26. elena – January 19, 2009
Before going ahead with this article, I wish to remind anyone participating here that this is your space. You can use as much f it as you like. You don’t have to read everything that is presented and I am not including this post thinking that you are under the obligation to read. I think the material is worth looking at in relation to cults but have nothing against you if it doesn’t attract your attention.
In relation to people’s health in cults, if you’re feeling sick and have been for a long time, consider the possibility that your body is trying to tell you that you better get the hell out of where you are. Asthma, vomiting and even having to carry a cushion to sit down at events so that I could bear the back pain became the common pattern I was in, during the last months in the Fellowship of Friends Cult.
All of these have seriously improved after leaving. Being totally helpless in relation to one’s body is an aspect of current health thinking in regular society and another tool of indoctrination in Cults. The fear of not being able to help your self. That point of view is wonderfully questioned in The Way of Illness by two German authors who unfortunately I don’t remember the names. C. Davies knows the names I think if you’re still in contact with her.
http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Effects_of_Religious_Cults_on_the_Health_and_Welfare_of_Their_Converts
November 4, 1977, Extensions of Remarks P. 37401-37403.
Read into the United States Congressional Record on November 3, 1977.
Vol. 123 Part 29, No. 181 Proceedings and Debates of 95th Congress (First Session)
November 3, 1977
The Effects of Religious Cults on the Health and Welfare of Their Converts
HON. LEO J. RYAN
OF CALIFORNIA
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
Thursday, November 3, 1977
Mr. RYAN: Mr. Speaker, the activities of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon’s Unification Church continue to cause distress for many of us. As you know, the House Subcommittee on International Organizations, chaired by my distinguished colleague, DONALD FRASER, is investigating allegations of close ties between the Reverend Moon and some of his organizations and the South Korean Government, including the KCIA. As a member of the subcommittee, I am, of course, disturbed over such allegations. My greatest concern, however is for those young people who have been converted by these religious cults and for their parents, who have suffered the loss of their children.
One of these parents, Mrs. Ida Watson Camburn of Sunnyvale, Calif., brought to my attention the testimony of John G. Clark, Jr., M.D., assistant professor of psychiatry at the Harvard Medical School, before a Vermont senate committee, which was investigating religious cults. Dr. Clark’s remarks, based on 2-1/2 years of research, deal with the effects of some religious cults on the mental and physical health and welfare of their converts. I highly recommend his conclusions to my colleagues:
TESTIMONY OF JOHN G. CLARK, JR., M.D.
In this statement to the committee established by the Vermont Legislature, I intend to present substantive conclusions drawn from 2-1/2 years of research on the effects of membership in some religious cults on personal health of their converts. My conclusions are rather grim: The health hazards are extreme! Though I will talk primarily of the absolute dangers to mental health and personal development, I must also as a physician draw attention to equally serious, often life threatening, dangers to physical health.
I will state that coercive persuasion and thought reform techniques are effectively practiced on naïve, uninformed subjects with disastrous health consequences. I will try to give enough information to indicate my reasons for further inquiries as well as review of applicable legal processes.
From the specific data gathered during the time of my investigations a rather accurate history of involvement in the cults can be now adequately described. In doing this I believe I can adequately demonstrate why I think there are major health hazards as well as many other social concerns directly caused by activities of the particular cults which we try to define as destructive. The destructive cults are numerous and include the very well known ones such as Hare Krishna, the Unification Church, the Scientologists, and the Divine Light Mission, all of whom are utilizing the same basic techniques. The fact that I use the word techniques indicates that these investigations have delineated a series of technical aspects to these questions which need to be understood and can be explained.
All of the groups that we are talking about have living leaders who are demonstrably wealthy. The beliefs of all these cults are absolutist and non-tolerant of other systems of beliefs. Their systems of governance are totalitarian. A requirement of membership is to obey absolutely without questioning. Their interest in the individual’s development within the cult towards some kind of satisfactory individual adult personality is by their doctrines, very low or nonexistent. It is clear that almost all of them emphasize money making in one form or another, although a few seem to be very much involved in demeaning or self denigrating activities and rituals. Most of them that I have studied possess a good deal of property and money which is under the discretionary control of the individual leaders.
Most of the cults of concern consider themselves purely religious; some others appear to be more political. One of the most important of the common properties of such cults is the presence of a leader who, in one way or another, claims special powers or may even allow himself to be thought of as the Messiah. Such leaders do have special personal qualities, including a unique worldview and special willingness to effect drastic changes in the thinking and behavior of followers.
It appears that the techniques utilized by these cults are very similar overall although each one uses its own peculiar style. It would appear obvious that all of these cults have worked out ways of gaining access to susceptible individuals in order to have served to any degree. Those who succumb to the enlisting efforts seem to be divided into two rather distinct groups. The first is composed of the “seekers” of whom we all know, popularly though incorrectly thought to constitute the entire population of susceptible people. They are schizophrenic, chronically so, or borderline personalities. It is quite clear that the existence of emotional or personality problems is a reason for becoming involved in the cults and that most mental health professionals consider only this reason at present. These inductees involve themselves in order to feel better because they are excessively uncomfortable with the outside world and themselves. Such motivated versions are “restitutive,” in that the “seekers” are trying to restore themselves to some semblance of comfort in a fresh, though false, reality. We also see this attempt at restitution in the development of the so called secondary symptoms of schizophrenia and other forms of mental illness as the attempt at restitution of a troubled or damaged mind to put together a new, simplified mental world and style of reasoning in order to compensate for the terrible awareness (or near awareness) of personal vulnerability. Approximately 58% of inductees were found to be in this first group from my studies.
The remaining 42% of the examined sample, however, were not ill or damaged in the sense I have mentioned before. That is, they were found to be apparently normal, developing young people who were going through the usual crises of development on the way to becoming adults, who, for any of a number of reasons, had fallen into the trap laid by the cults and had been taken in. On examination they were strong growing students on the average who were facing the normal pains of separation from their families, the normal depressions therefrom, the new, clear slightly feverish view of the complexity of outer reality which is a part of early college life. I think of their joining the cult as being “adaptive;” that is, they are presented with certain problems by the social and physiological processes which are not in themselves as pathological as those involved in the “restitutive” conversions. In some ways it is this more healthy “adaptive” group that is most alarming to the observer.
From a clinicians point of view the first or restitutive group under the influence of cult indoctrination and practices is very much at risk. In many ways it can be very easily shown from long experience within the mental health field how very much more damaged they may become by being given a thought disorder by a group that conforms to a prior tendency to this sort of thinking disability. Their chances of ever developing a good relationship to outer reality and becoming autonomous individuals must, perforce, diminish with the passage of time. I am reminded of the chronic schizophrenics of some years ago whose psychotic style of thinking became totally institutionalized when placed in the back wards of hospitals for such a long enough time that they ultimately could no longer think at all effectively. The healthier second group, though theoretically less totally vulnerable, is more easy to identify with; their problems may be especially revealing, as I will try to explain.
These people tend to be from intact, idealistic, believing families with some religious background. Often they had not truly made any of the major shifts toward independence, and so, left home at the appropriate time believing they were ready for freedom. When this belief was seriously challenged in this brave new world by their first real set backs or by any real crisis they became covertly depressed, thus enhancing their susceptibility to the processes of conversion.
For individuals in this state of vulnerability to be converted a series of circumstances, techniques and events must occur to bring about the complete subjugation of mind and person which I am attempting to describe. The first event is the gaining of access to these potential converts, which is raised to a high art by all of the successful cults. Some even have printed manuals describing where to approach prospects, exactly what types of initial pressure to put on each of them and what the odds are that they will acquire a certain number of converts from a given amount of pressure well applied. The general openness of manners of this group adds to the ease of access. Once such a prospect has agreed to investigate the rather simple propositions expressed by the representatives of the cult he or she is brought into the next and highly sophisticated activities of the conversion process. From the first, intense group pressure, lectures, lies, false use of facilities and other inter-personal pressures unexpected by the individual are brought to bear. Singing, chanting and a constant barrage of the kinds of rhetoric which catch the young idealistic minds are constantly in play. So intense is this that individuals who are under such pressure and are susceptible tend to enter a state of narrowed attention, especially as they are more and more deprived of their ordinary frames of reference and of sleep. This state must be described as a trance. From that time there is a relative or complete loss of control of one’s own mind and actions which is then placed into the hands of the group or of individuals who have been the direct contact with the individual inductee. This induction period has also been described as “coercive persuasion.”
Once this state of passive, narrowed attention and willingness to be influenced is achieved, the true work of conversion (or of thought reform) begins in earnest. This is always a program of unbelievable intensity! During this, all of the cults step up their ideological reform pressures by increased group pressure, change of diet, and the introduction of elements of guilt and terror. The question of supernatural pressures that one must face in the future are brought out more and more explicitly and concretely. Many promises are made of redemption or safety, in the certainty that the world will soon end at which time there will be enormous rewards or terrible punishments to believers or non-believers. The threats may be implicit but are sometimes increasingly physical and explicit physical threats. Preaching is constant from all sides; supervision is absolute and privacy of body or of mind may not be allowed for days or weeks into the future even to use the bathroom. All relationships to other people are organized and stereotyped and no chance is given for idiosyncratic expression. The victims are induced rapidly to give all familiar and loved past objects – parents, siblings, home, city, etc. – and they are physically and emotionally moved to as foreign an environment as is possible to imagine. Thus, it becomes increasingly hard for them to reconstruct in imagination what one has once experienced some time in the past. Reality becomes the present and includes in its elements of the supernatural, magical; terrifying thought which has been expressed constantly all around. There is no base left for reality testing.
Perhaps as important a factor as any is that the base of each individual’s language which has been part of the mind and the body function from the very early stages, is slowly and deliberately changed. All words of any emotional importance have had some shifting of their meaning to an oversimplified, special sort of related definition. Each person is given more and more tasks to learn, to study, to grasp, and has less time to believe that the past ever existed. By this time the indoctrination has defined parents as being infected by Satan’s influence and parenthood is reinvested in the leaders of the cults. The urge to go home has been replaced by the need for the absolute authority of the cult and its leaders and at the same time the value of education and the need to go to school has disappeared from the consciousness. This much radical change of attitudes, loyalties and thinking style can occur and regularly does occur within a few days to a few weeks.
From this time the problem of maintenance of the state of mind is apparently rather simple. Leaving the old familiar life setting and renouncing it for a new communal theology the accepting of a new family with new definitions of love and denouncing of natural parents leads an individual to think all bridges to the past are closed and that a very brave move into a new world has, indeed, been made. In some cults members are taught intensive chanting and meditating procedures which in case of any attack on their beliefs can cover up all possible thoughts and doubts. Others can apparently reenter a trance state with a narrowed consciousness of reality the first moment that somebody questions or challenges their beliefs. They are then promoted to the next steps or stages in their cults usually as proselytizers, money raisers or in some cases garbage collectors.
In my opinion, the last stage of this process in both adaptive and restitutive groups probably may evolve after four to seven years. This would be “acculturation” and would be irreversible. This stage may be compared to that of the untreated person with a schizophrenic illness who slides without proper help into a kind of personal degradation which, if unchallenged or untreated in time finally becomes acculturated and permanent. Anyone trying to nudge a person from this acquired style of thinking and behavior as we in mental health field know very well is going to feel that he is the natural enemy of his own patient. In my opinion, I repeat, by acculturation this new style of thinking may become irreversible.
Before this final state cult members seem to experience two forms of personality: the original and the imposed. The original is complex, full of love relationships, expectations and hopes and, especially rich language. This richness of language is that which parents suddenly miss when they first see their thought-reformed children. Their reaction is appropriately panic! They recognize and correctly identify terrifying, sudden, unacceptable changes in the style of language and the style of relating as well as a narrowing and thinning down of the thought processes. Formally bright, fluent and creative individuals are rendered incapable of the use of irony or a metaphor and they speak with a smaller carefully constricted vocabulary with clichés and stereotyped ideas. They also appear to have great difficulty using abstractions in their speech or arguments. They do not love except in clichés and established forms. Almost all of the charged, emotion-laden language symbols are shifted to new meanings. Parents notice this long before professionals because they do not need cumbersome and elaborate tools to analyze language patterns. Their memories and intuition are sufficient.
The evidence for what I call a shift in personality which may be what we call in psychiatry “depersonalization,” comes from several kinds of observation. The first is that, despite the appearance to very experienced clinicians of flagrant and classical schizophrenia in many converts the induced mental state being discussed does not respond to the most effective antipsychotic drugs or any of the methods of treatment customarily applied by mental health professionals to restore effective thinking. Thus, we are relatively helpless to restore thinking processes because under the current interpretations of the laws we cannot maintain physical control for long enough to bring about the confrontation therapies which might be effective in reestablishing the original personality style in the way it was done with the Korean war prisoners. On the other hand antipsychotic medicines are still effective in treating acute psychosis in these same people though not affecting the state of conversion.
The second and rather compelling piece of evidence is that the thought-reformed state is dramatically altered by the process of deprogramming about which, thought I cannot legally advise it as a therapy under most circumstances, a great deal is known. The deprogramming process as it is now practiced effects, in a large number of cases, a fairly rapid return to the old organization of the mind, a repersonalization, and brings back with it the old language skills and memories, original personal relationship patterns and of course the old problems. Furthermore it is regularly observed that for some time after the deprogramming the affected individuals are very vulnerable for about a year and, especially during the first few weeks to two months, they feel themselves aware of and close to, two different mental worlds. Their strong impulses to return to the cult are altered by logical reasoning processes and the great fear of some one taking control of their minds from the outside once again. During this time a former convert can quickly be recaptured either by fleeting impulse or by entering a trance state through a key word for piece of music or by chanting or by a team from the cult.
In general, however after a return to an original state of mind the individual’s problems begin to seem like ordinary health problems. Most of them are depressed, depleted people reminding one very much of that status of patients who have recently recovered from acute psychoses who are able to feel that for the first time in their lives they had lost a clear sense of reality and of control. They feel ashamed of what they have done and the pain they have inflicted, are very scared and for a while unable to manage their lives effectively. To remain within the strict mental and social confines of the cult experience for even a short time is disastrous for some who have become psychotic or have committed suicide. Continuing membership appears to invite a deeper acceptance of the controlled state of mind and, in my opinion, leads to the gradual degradation of ordinary thought processes necessary to cope with highly differentiated and ambiguous external life problems of the future. In this state after some time the intellect appears to lose a great many IQ points: the capacity to form flexible human relationships or real intimacy is impaired and all reality testing functions are difficult to mobilize so that moderate prior psychological disability is likely to be set back considerably and permanently in his or her maturation to adulthood and will certainly be impaired in the ability and capacity to deal with the real world’s opportunities and dangers. The loss of educational and occupational experiences will confirm these losses beyond any doubts.
This is the rough picture of the phenomenon of thought reform as practiced by present day cults and the natural history of this process and its effects on the involved individuals. Though incomplete it is based on examination of 27 subjects at all stages of involvement in six different cults as well as interviews with many more interested and informed observers. I believe the overall outline is sound though, of course, incomplete. The fact of a personality shift in my opinion is established. The fact that this is a phenomenon basically unfamiliar to the mental health profession I am certain of. The fact that our ordinary methods of treatment don’t work is also clear, as are the frightening hazards to the process of personal growth and mental health.
In this paper I have tried to describe the phenomenon of involvement of young people in destructive cults. The problems of special vulnerability to conversion were described and two major groups of susceptibles were identified. A natural history of access, induction by coercive persuasion, the process of thought and attitude reform and the maintenance of conversion described. An opinion that a permanent state of acculturation was likely to occur after a number of years was expressed. The rapidity of these catastrophic changes was emphasized as well as many of their qualities and these were related to mental health and maturational concerns.
Specific and important problems such as suicide, depression, psychotic reactions and psychosomatic disorders are most serious and deserve another discussion and much more study. It is also clear that the multiple, serious and often bizarre problems of physical illness need careful and official attention. Both the mental health and physical health problems presented by the activities of the cults should be investigated in much greater detail by official agencies. I believe that they merit active interest of such constitutive authorities as this legislative body who I trust can see some of the greater implications of all that has been discussed and will be further revealed in these hearings.
59. elena – January 21, 2009
Text 9 20th Jan 2009
Political Conditioning
Political conditioning should not be confused with training or persuasion or even indoctrination. It is more than that. It is tampering. It is taking possession of both the simplest and the most complicated nervous patterns of man. It is the battle for the possession of the nerve cells. It is coercion and enforced conversion. Instead of conditioning man to an unbiased facing of reality, the seducer conditions him to catchwords, verbal stereotypes, slogans, formulas, symbols. Pavlovian strategy in the totalitarian sense means imprinting prescribed reflexes on a mind that has been broken down. The totalitarian wants first the required response from the nerve cells, then control of the individual, and finally control of the masses. The system starts with verbal conditioning and training by combining the required stereotypes with negative or positive stimuli: pain, or reward. In the P.O.W. camps in Korea where there was individual and mass brainwashing, the negative and positive conditioning stimuli were usually hunger and food. The moment the soldier conformed to the party line his food ration was improved: say yes, and I’ll give you a piece of candy!
______Political conditioning as described above is a reality in Cult conditioning with the use of exactly similar techniques.
In the Fellowship Cult, the more you conform and pay, the more attention you get from Robert Burton. What is interesting about this is that what members become addicted to is attention from Burton because that attention means their “being” and even “higher level of being” is recognized by the “divine being”, living out a constant competition with the rest of the members for that psychological recognition that grants them the “right to be” as if they had lost it somewhere or had never had it. A similar phenomenon occurs with Girard Haven, the man that Burton predicted would become the second conscious being in the “School” and therefore, planet earth since the Fellowship of Friends was the only conscious school
February 9, 2009 at 8:57 pm
This is the first time I try to understand this phenomenon so this is for sure a tentative approach to it. I am interested in doing this exercise as a first step to a deeper work.
I’ll mark my comments with a line _________ and In Cults…
The Mysterious Masochistic Pact
In Arthur Koestler’s masterpiece, DARKNESS AT NOON, he describes all the subtle intricacies, reasonings, and dialectics between the inquisitor and his victim. The old Bolshevik, Rubashov, preconditioned by his former party adherence, confesses to plotting against the party and the party line. He is partly motivated by the wish to render a last service: his confession is a final sacrifice to the party. I would explain the confession rather as part of that mysterious masochistic pact between the inquisitor and his victim, which we encounter, too, in other processes of brainwashing.
[NOTE: The term "masochism" originally referred to sexual gratification received from pain and punishment, and later became every gratification acquired through pain and abjection.]
It is the last gift and trick the tortured gives to his torturer. It is as if he were to call out: “Be good to me. I confess. I submit. Be good to me and love me.” After having suffered all manner of brutality, hypnotism, despair, and panic, there is a final quest for human companionship, but it is ambivalent, mixed with deep despising, hatred, and bitterness.
_____In Cults, “Be good to me. I confess. I submit. Be good to me and love me” is the attitude every member carries towards the guru. Although they have not suffered physical brutality, members have been isolated from their psychological roots and the “final quest for human companionship” is as alive in them as in the mind control environment described here but it seems to manifest in the pathology of idolatry in which “contact with the guru” is overrated and divinized. The despising, hatred and bitterness is paradoxically, expressed in the lack of healthy contact between members who compete for even the tiniest privilege from the guru.
Tortured and torturer gradually form a peculiar community in which the one influences the other. Just as in therapeutic sessions where the patient identifies with the psychiatrist, the daily sessions of interrogation and conversation create an unconscious transfer of feelings in which the prisoner identifies with his inquisitors, and his inquisitors with him.
_____This is certainly the case also in cults. The mass of unidentifiable members and the “inner circle” of the Cult create an unconscious transfer of feelings in which they identify with each other.
“Identify with each other” is precisely the word and I would use it here in the same sense in which it is used in the Fourth Way System in which the subjects lose contact with their own self and transfer their sense of worth or sense of I to each other, developing a mutual trust and dependency on each other in which to continue justifying their relationship to the cult.
The prisoner, encaptured in a strange, harsh, and unfamiliar world, identifies much more with the enemy than does the enemy with him. Unwittingly he may take over all the enemy’s norms, evaluations, and attitudes toward life. Such passive surrender to the enemy’s ideology is determined by unconscious processes. The danger of communion of this kind is that at the end all moral evaluations disappear.
_____In Cults, if we replace just a few words here, everything else stands equally valid:
The member, encaptured in a strange, harsh, and unfamiliar world, identifies much more with the inner circle representative than does the latter to him. Unwittingly he may take over all the enemy’s norm, evaluations, and attitudes toward life. Such passive surrender to the enemy’s ideology is determined by unconscious processes. The danger of communion of this kind is that at the end all moral evaluations disappear.
THE DANGER OF COMMUNION OF THIS KIND IS THAT AT THE END ALL MORAL EVALUATION DISAPPEARS. This is crucial because it is this phenomenon what then allows for the rape of members by the guru, his intervention in marriages and families, his indiscriminate use of money and all other forms of abuse known in cults.
We saw it happen in Germany. The very victims of Nazism came to accept the idea of concentration camps.
________We are seeing it happen in the World today in which cults are an unchallenged reality.
In menticide we are faced with a ritual like that found in witch hunting during the Middle Ages, except that today the ritual has taken a more refined form. Accuser and accused — each affords the other assistance, and both belong together as collaborating members of a ritual of confession and self-denigration. Through their cooperation, they attack the minds of bystanders who identify with them and who consequently feel guilty, weak, and submissive.
The Moscow purge trials made many Russians feel guilty; listening to the confessions, they must have said to themselves, “I could have done the same thing. I could have been in that man’s place.” When their heroes become traitors, their own hidden treasonable wishes made them feel weak and frightened.
This explanation may seem overly complicated and involved and perhaps even self-contradictory, but, in fact, it helps us to understand what happens in cases of menticide. Both torturer and tortured are the victims of their own unconscious guilt. The torturer projects his guilt onto some outside scapegoat and tries to expiate it by attacking his victim. The victim, too, has a sense of guilt, which arises from deeply repressed hostilities. Under normal circumstances, this sense is kept under control, but in the menticidal atmosphere of relentless interrogation and inquisition, his repressed hostilities are aroused and loom up as frightening phantasmagorias from a forgotten past, which the victim senses but cannot grasp or understand. It is easier to confess to the accusation of treason and sabotage than to accept the frightening sense of criminality with which his long-forgotten aggressive impulses now burden him. The victim’s overt self-accusation serves as a trick to annihilate the inner accuser and the persecuting inquisitor. The more I accuse myself, the less reason there is for the inquisitor’s existence. The victim’s going to the gallows kills, as it were, the inquisitor too, because there existed a mutual identification: the accuser is made impotent the moment the victim begins to accuse himself and tomorrow the accuser himself may be accused and brought to the gallows.
_______In Cults, this process culminates in the act of suicide as the final act of surrender and sacrifice.
Out of our understanding of this strange masochistic pact between accuser and accused comes a rather simple answer to the questions, WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO CONTROL THE MINDS OF OTHERS, AND WHY DO THE OTHERS CONFESS AND YIELD? It is because there is no essential difference between the victim and the inquisitor. They are alike. Neither, under these circumstances, has any control over his deeply hidden criminal and hostile thoughts and feelings.
It is obviously easier to be the inquisitor than the victim, not only because the inquisitor may be temporarily safe from mental and physical destruction, but also because it is simpler to punish others for what we feel as criminal in ourselves than it is to face up to our own hidden sense of guilt. Committing menticide is the lesser crime of aggression, which covers up the deeper crime of unresolved hidden hatred and destruction.
_______This paragraph relates to various aspects in cults and human beings. The situation described here is no different to the one in which a person makes fun of another in a subtly malignant way. This is very common in regular society today. It is a mechanism in which the ego formed as a defence against life’s assault, (the false ego) tends to undermine others to keep itself afloat. Life’s assault or the threat of mental and physical destruction facilitates the act to punish others for what we feel as criminal in our selves, rather than face up to our own sense of guilt. What is interesting is that in cults the humour is silenced and the process takes place in a covert act in which the “superiority” of the people in the inner circle is accepted as a “fact” of life. The “punishment” is interiorized and made fact at the same time making the difference in status a solidified reality. The “humiliation” from one human being to the other is made a permanent reality in which the member is circumscribed to the inferior position until he or she completely surrenders and incarnates the doctrine until he him self becomes a member of the inner circle and submits others to the same treatment.
A Survey of Psychological Processes Involved in Brainwashing and Menticide
At the end of this chapter describing the various influences that lead to yielding and surrender to the enemy’s strategy, it is useful to give a short survey of the psychological processes involved.
PHASE I. ARTIFICIAL BREAKDOWN AND DECONDITIONING
The inquisitor tries to weaken the ego of his prisoner. Though originally physical torture was used — hunger and cold are still very effective — physical torture may often increase a person’s stubbornness. Torture is intended to a much greater extent to act as a threat to the bystanders’ (the people’s) imagination. Their wild anticipation of torture leads more easily to THEIR breakdown when the enemy has need of their weakness. (Of course, occasionally a sadistic enemy may find individual pleasure in torture.)
____In this paragraph we must change some words again. The inquisitor for the inner circle representative and the prisoner for the member. Physical torture by psychological torture- hunger and cold for emotional isolation – Visible humiliations such as banning members or giving them leaves of absence must be replaced by torture as used here which is equally meant to intimidate other cult members.
The many devices the enemy makes use of include: intimidating suggestion, dramatic persuasion, mass suggestion, humiliation, embarrassment, loneliness and isolation, continued interrogation, over-burdening the unsteady mind, arousing more and more self-pity. Patience and time help the inquisitor to soften a stubborn soul.
_______In Cults such as the Fellowship of Friends, we don’t find overt physical intimidation but massive ideology of fear. The member is intimidated by the overall catastrophe of mankind. Armageddon. Suggestion is an aspect of it as much as dramatic persuasion. These are given on a massive scale while humiliation and embarrassment, loneliness and isolation are applied individually by the guru and his assistant’s attention or lack of attention to the member arousing more and more self pity. Patience and time help them to soften a stubborn soul.
Just as in many old religions the victims were humbled and humiliated in order to prepare for the new religion, so, in this case, they are prepared to accept the totalitarian ideology. In this phase, out of mere intellectual opportunism, the victim may consciously give in.
_______Intellectual or instinctive opportunism allows the members to consciously give in.
Opportunism is an interesting word here because we could explore the fact that all cult members are looking for the opportunity to participate in a small community in which they are taken into account much frustrated by the indifference and insignificance of city life. Most members surrender to the cult with the hidden desire for that opportunity to regain a place in a human community.
PHASE II. SUBMISSION TO AND POSITIVE IDENTIFICATION WITH THE ENEMY
As has already been mentioned, the moment of surrender may often arrive suddenly. It is as if the stubborn negative suggestibility changed critically into a surrender and affirmation. What the inquisitor calls the sudden inner illumination and conversion is a total reversal of inner strategy in the victim. From this time on, in psychoanalytic terms, a parasitic superego lives in man’s conscience, and he will speak his new master’s voice. In my experience such sudden surrender often occurred together with hysterical outbursts into crying and laughing, like a baby surrendering after obstinate temper tantrums. The inquisitor can attain this phase more easily by assuming a paternal attitude. As a matter of fact, many a P.O.W. was courted by a form of paternal kindness — gifts, sweets at birthdays, and the promise of more cheerful things to come.
_______In Cults, A PARASITIC SUPEREGO develops on top of the former ego of the member. A division into two definite personalities begins to take place. In Fourth Way System terms, false personality is assaulted by an alter personality that develops over it. The unresolved and stagnant aspects of false personality are used as the root on which the new personality can grow giving way to the development of varied forms of pathological behaviour. The moral, ethical and psychological immaturity of the personality rooted in essence is transferred to the new personality, which adapts these immaturities to the new form of life giving expression to decadent behaviour.
Maloney compares this sudden yielding with the theophany or kenosis (internal conversion) as described by some theological rites. For our understanding, it is important to stress that yielding is an unconscious and purely emotional process, no longer under the conscious intellectual control of the brainwashee. We may also call this phase the phase of autohypnosis.
PHASE III. THE RECONDITIONING TO THE NEW ORDER
Through both continual training and taming, the new phonograph record has to be grooved. We may compare this process with an active hypnosis into conversion. Incidental relapses to the old form of thinking have to be corrected as in Phase I. The victim is daily helped to rationalize and justify his new ideology. The inquisitor delivers to him the new arguments and reasonings.
This systematic indoctrination of those who long avoided intensive indoctrination constitutes the actual political aspect of brainwashing and symbolizes the ideological cold war going on at this very moment.
PHASE IV. LIBERATION FROM THE TOTALITARIAN SPELL
As soon as the brainwashee returns to a free atmosphere, the hypnotic spell is broken. Temporary nervous repercussions take place, like crying spells, feelings of guilt and depression. The expectation of a hostile homeland, in view of his having yielded to enemy indoctrination, may fortify this reaction. The period of brainwashing becomes a nightmare. Only those who were staunch members of the resistance before may stick to it. But here, too, I have seen the enemy impose its mental pressure too well and convert their former prisoners into eternal haters of freedom.
______Would this help us explain why cult ex-members seldom try to stop the cult to which they belonged?
February 9, 2009 at 9:03 pm
113. elena – January 10, 2009
What I find interesting about the following article is that the emotional manipulation that a parent does to a child to turn her against the other parent is a faithful parallel of the manipulation cults do to members to separate them from their families and the world at large. The effects are the same!
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties that Bind
Amy J. L. Baker
New York: W. W. Norton and Company, Inc., 2007. ISBN-10: 0393705196; ISBN-13: 978-0393705195 (hardcover), $32.00. 304 pages.
Reviewed by Lorna Goldberg, M.S.W.
Those of us who are immersed in the cult field often find that our work has been marginalized by mental health professionals who see us as treating a population that has little to do with the problems they are addressing in their clinical practices. Over the years, I believe we have been able to bridge this gap with those who work with other trauma survivors. Now Dr. Baker has brought some of our cult-related insights into another field—family environments in which children need to maintain total loyalty to one parent at the cost of a relationship with the other parent. This is a family problem that occurs on a continuum of influence, from such behaviors as mild bad-mouthing of the other parent to using an array of strategies that might result in a case of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), which happens in the most extreme cases.
We acknowledge the power of suggestion and influence on both children and adults. In the past, those of us who work with cult survivors immediately “got” the concept that poorly trained therapists could successfully suggest to their patients that they might “recover” memories of child abuse of which they previously had been unaware. Likewise, in contrast to some therapists who become seduced or manipulated by parents who present them with children who might totally reject and hate one parent without giving them specifics (particularly specifics of abuse or neglect), therapists who have worked in the cult area can be skeptical, request further information, and wonder whether PAS is at work. We also wonder about the possibility of some form of parental alienation when an adult enters therapy with a black-and-white version of his parents.
14. elena – January 8, 2009
From ipsa res loquitur with gratitude to Unanimo and writers especially for Daily Cardiac: These are the facts that you are blind to:
I have personally experienced the greedy, grabbing completely selfish ass ault of the “beyond feminine dominance”Queen of the hive and the blind eye and closed hearts of the procurer drones and their paradoxical judgement/envy.
While they watched the constant stream of situationaly compromised young and not so young men enter the heavily over loaded to one side arena of the Queen, with what seemed like the complacent attitude of, as long as my security isnt compromised, who cares if there are some casualties, if they leave then surely they were weak and unsuited to evolve thats why “C influence released them.
16/203/Cyclops
on July 29, 2007 at 3:37 amunoanimo
Sexual Harassment, Emotional Distress, Breach of Trust
Bruce 216: “Even though many of us lived together in the boy cottage, many of us were walking around in a daze asking ourselves “why was it happening to just me”. We were so shell shocked that none of us could assume it was happening to others. No one would speak of it. ”
16/216/Bruce
15. elena – January 8, 2009
Sexual Exploitation, Sexual Predator, Sexual Harassment, Enticement, Breach of Trust, Willful Tort, Negligent Tort
Worse, and this is important, living these lies dishonored the efforts of his students, made a mockery of their truths. Then on, ever downwards, the web of deceit was woven thread by thread. Countless times, Burton told the lie of celibacy in the morning and that same evening raped one of his students (fucked them against their will), used blackmail and further lies to complete the deed, used the Work language to serve his own base purposes. Used their shame as a weapon to ensure their silence. Bruce has told it, how isolated each of the ‘boys’ in the Blake Cottage were, each thinking they were the only one. This poison contaminated every aspect of the Fellowship. What do the grandiose dreams of good declared by Burton mean in the face of this? In the balance, far less than nothing, a negative amount. The horror outweighs any possibility of good.
16/228/Ames
27. elena – January 8, 2009
Invasion of Privacy, Enticement of a Parent, Intensional Infliction of Emotional Distress, Child Endangerment, ‘Fetus Endangerment’ … See ‘Administration of Children and Families’. Inhumane Treatment of Animals
I learned that earlier in his reign Robert asked married women not to have kids and if they already did to give them away. Many apparently listened and obeyed. Apparently Linda was persuading pregnant women to have an abortion “to follow the will of the Teacher”. Gently ask older female students in FOF what happened to their kids.
Purchasing Awakening
Enticement of Parent, Enticement, Invasion of Privacy,
When I got pregnant I was leaving at Renaissance and my husband was on salary. We did not have the money to go to a doctor and were worried about future hospital bills.
My husband called Robert, but not until years later did he tell me what the teacher had said in response to a request for financial help for the birth, namely, that we had missed an opportunity to oppose our catholic upbring by not having an abortion.
A student on salary with family later suggested we go to County Health Services. Fortunately I had excellent care.
BTW our child is an absolute delight, a gift beyond measure.
16/282/vera.mente
Invasion of Privacy, Connivance, Enticement of a Parent, Discrimination, Undue Influence, Undue Influence, Child Endangerment, ‘Negligent Eloignment’
I never understood the few, lovely, women I met who had left their children in the care of others at the behest of the FOF leaders. Please note that the directives may have come from Robert after Center Directors told him of situations that might threaten the student’s devotion and or payments. (Darn those silly outside influences.)
16/284/A Former female student from long ago
Recklessness, Prenatal Tort
I knew of a visit from Fran, an older women, who was sent to escort a happily married women to a hospital for a late term abortion of healthy twins. Why was this married student in a happy relationship guided to go to the hospital to abort two healthy fetuses? Robert loved the beautiful, handsome husband and it was during the mid/late 70s when the School could not afford to have students be distracted by the emotional or expensive aspects of children.
This potential mother and father were in in pain but followed Robert’s directives – it was not a pretty situation. Years later Robert got his guy back and the wife was left to earn money outside of Renaissance while her husband was on salary.
16/284/A Former female student from long ago
Misappropriation of funds, Fraud, Corruption in Office, Wanton Misconduct, False Pretenses, Discrimination
How can you explain the disappearing of funds and sick people like J e-s-a, who can not afford medical treatment?
How do you live with the fact that Robert uses money from inheritances for different purposes then the original plan of the deceased student?
The way he lets students go especially the one who are not rich and do not have a lot of importance in art or the financial world is very cold and painful.
I encountered many students who were alcohol addicted and the pain they have/had. How do you live with this info?
16/304/Another name
Intentional & Negligent Infliction of emotional distress
Nearly 15 years after I left the Fellowship of Friends, I discovered I was very angry about what had happened to me there. In the intervening years, I had actively tried not to acknowledge it, mostly out of fear of some sort of divine retribution, I guess. After many years of chronic illnesses and chronic pain, things kind of came to a head, as they say. I acknowledged to myself that I was angry. It was quite shocking, actually how angry I was. I surprised myself.
I recommend: 1) a good therapist and 2) screaming into a pillow (to avoid upsetting the neighbors/family).
16/310/Innernaut
Intentional infliction of Emotional distress, Misappropriation of Funds, Negligent Hiring, Discrimination, Favoritism, Breach of Duty, Fraud
He uses the donations from the members (most of whom think the money is going to be spent for the common good) to buy outrageously expensive trinkets and clothes for his boy whores. Furthermore, most of those boys only give in to his advances because he says he is their conscious teacher, goddess, etc.
16/311/David B
Intentional and Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress,
Invasion of Privacy, Undue Influence, Outrageous conduct, Unprofessional Conduct, Wrongful act.
There are few stories from wives of RB boys for good reason – the shame involved is incredible. But, believe me, we are around in numbers. The shame is two fold, one at being a wife or serious girlfriend who’s beloved man is having regular sex with someone else. But the shame I most want to talk about is living with, witnessing, the man’s shame. My husband was with RB a long time ago and he is NOT homosexual and the sex was coerced (he was an ‘idiot’ type). He was shamed into it by not being a ‘high’ being as RB. After being shamed into the sex, it was incredibly shameful for him to have enjoyable physical sensations. It haunted him for years and impacted his manhood – his perception of his manhood. This is VERY IMPORTANT for a man, it goes to the very CORE OF HIS ESSENCE and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with feminine dominance or morality. RB shit on these men a festering scum cloud deep into their core. It takes extreme measures to heal from that and clean it out. I feel very sorry for you and very sorry for a woman who loves you – your cloud is still festering.
16/331/That Girl
Intentional and Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress, Invasion of Privacy, Sexual Predator
I remember a few years ago one Russian woman was crying (she left FOF) because she was raising a baby while her husband was sleeping with Robert and “to smooth things over” RB gave her a gift – a Russian scarf… Plus demanded to wear it every time she was going out where he could see her. That was pure sadism!
16/389/Somebody
28. elena – January 8, 2009
(Concerning the story of Brian Sisler)
I (Ames) went to nursing school, and caught TB from a patient. I couldn’t work as a nurse, we got into financial trouble, and moved to Sacramento. During our time there, we were told that Brian had been stabbed and was in hospital. The official story, given by the center director, was that he had been stabbed 44 times, that this was a signal from C-Influence, and that he had been ‘released’ from the Fellowship, and had returned to his family in the mid-west.
I found out that the 44 stab wounds were mythological, invented by Burton. There had in fact been five.
About six months ago, I heard the rumors that he was dead. I checked around, and they appeared to be true.
This is what I can piece together, but I stress I have no first–hand information. I hear he went to the FoF gatehouse, and asked to see Burton. Burton refused to see him. He made his way down to Marysville, checked into a motel, and hanged himself.
She describes their deep friendship and his emotional and physical pain as Burton brutalized him, how he lay groaning on the floor of the Blake Cottage for hours after a session with him. This went on for years. She had first–hand knowledge, her job was to clean the Blake Cottage around the comings and goings of Burton, —and to clean the soiled underwear. She recalls the perfuming of Burton and the air around to cover the sordid smells.
My understanding is that Brian was a schizophrenic. The “higher being” that is Burton took ruthless advantage of his weaknesses and used him as his personal property, to do with as he wished. There was no compassion, no love, no understanding, Brian was just an object for his gratification. And when things became too uncomfortable, he was thrown away, like a soiled tissue, and with as much compunction. Compost. I channel my anger about this and other things that have happened as best as I can, right now mainly through the blog, and hopefully in a constructive way. There are many other stories yet to be told, by many, many people; they are slowly being revealed, and Burton will be shown, once and for all, for the horror that he is. That is my hope.
37. ton – January 8, 2009
the fof cult likes to think of itself as a ‘church’ — for tax purposes:
“1. Authority and Power – abusive churches misuse and distort the concept of spiritual authority. Abuse arises when leaders of a church or group arrogate to themselves power and authority that lacks the dynamics of open accountability and the capacity to question or challenge decisions made by leaders. The shift entails moving from general respect… to one where members loyally submit without any right to dissent.
2. Manipulation and Control – abusive churches are characterized by social dynamics where fear, guilt, and threats are routinely used to produce unquestioning obedience, group conformity, and stringent tests of loyalty to the leaders are demonstrated before the group… concepts of the leader-disciple relationship tend to develop into a hierarchy where the leader’s decisions control and usurp the disciple’s right or capacity to make choices on spiritual matters or even in daily routines…. what form of employment, form of diet and clothing are permitted.
3. Elitism and Persecution – abusive churches depict themselves as unique in God’s plans and have a strong organizational tendency to be separate from other church bodies and institutions. The social dynamism of the group involves being independent or separate, with diminishing possibilities for internal correction and reflection. Outside criticism and evaluation is dismissed as the disruptive efforts of evil people seeking to hinder or thwart God’s plans.
4. Life-style and Experience – abusive churches foster rigidity in behaviour and in belief that requires unswerving conformity to the group’s ideals and social mores.
5. Dissent and Discipline – abusive churches tend to suppress any kind of internal challenges and dissent concerning decisions made by leaders. Acts of discipline may involve…
Upon learning that their group is a destructive cult some people are unable to muster the strength to leave. Others leave but soon return. The impact of leaving a high control group is dramatic, regularly leading to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
provides the following outline of the process a person generally goes through when leaving a cult.
The period of exiting from a cult is usually a traumatic experience and, like any great change in a person’s life, involves passing through stages of accommodation to the change:
Disbelief/denial: “This can’t be happening. It couldn’t have been that bad.”
Anger/hostility: “How could they/I be so wrong?” (hate feelings)
Self-pity/depression: “Why me? I can’t do this.”
Fear/bargaining: “I don’t know if I can live without my group. Maybe I can still associate with it on a limited basis, if I do what they want.”
Reassessment: “Maybe I was wrong about the group’s being so wonderful.”
Accommodation/acceptance: “I can move beyond this experience and choose new directions for my life” or…
Reinvolvement: “I think I will rejoin the group.”
For those that do leave Michael Langone, Ph.D., of the American Family Foundation (AFF), lists symptoms suffered by up to 80% of former members of high control groups.11
Anxiety, fear, and worry
Feelings of anger toward the group leaders
Mental confusion
Vivid flashbacks to the group experience
Low self-confidence
Indecisiveness
Difficulty concentrating
Loneliness
Compulsive need to talk about the group
Despair, hopelessness, and helplessness
Difficulty thinking critically
Guilt about things done while in the group
Troubled by thoughts that can’t be gotten rid of
“Floating” among very different states of mind
Conflicts with loved ones & family
A longing to restore certain aspects of group
Sleeplessness
Nightmares
Difficulty finding suitable employment
Fear of physical harm by the group
Medical ills
etc…
16/446/Ames
11. elena – January 8, 2009
From Res Ipsa loquitur
A list of circumstances and convictions upon the Fellowship of Friends and Robert Burton that are as applicable now as they were 10 years ago.
Fellowship Of Friends-A Cult In Oregon House, California.
Another lawsuit filed against F.O.F/Renaissance Vineyard &
Winery, Robert Burton, Girard Haven, Abraham Goldman, Helga
Ruth Mueller, and Clair Bowen–directors of Fellowship of
Friends, Inc. The lawsuit brought by Troy Buzbee and filed
on April 29, 1996 in the County of Yuba.
Complaint for Damages is in Case # 060209
1. Fraud
2. Intentional infliction of emotional distress
3. Negligent infliction of emotional distress
4. Breach of fiduciary duty
5. Negligent supervision
6. Sexual misconduct with a minor
7. Sexual harassment
8. Wrongful discharge
9. Negligence
10. Failure to pay minimum wage
11. Battery
Fellowship Of Friends Cult – By Michelle M. Milligan
“Within the pages of the case are facts and details concerning sexual and perverted acts practiced by Burton, his philosophies and ideologies expected of the members.”
According to the case, Robert Burton, “The Teacher”, as referred to by members, began the corporation Fellowship of Friends in 1971.
The “Fourth Way philosophy is taught and practiced by the Fellowship of Friends. The location of The Fellowship of Friends herein referred to as the F.O.F. is in Oregon House, however the F.O.F. refers to their location rather as “The Renaissance”.
Troy Buzbee’s father became a member of the F.O.F. in 1976. Richard Buzbee’s son Troy was only seven years of age. Richard Buzbee was told that if he paid his teaching payments each month and followed the tasks and suggestions of the teacher, Robert Burton that he would
enter “the way,” become “conscious” and “immortal.” He was told that Burton was a “conscious being” and that he was “celibate.” He was told that he could trust Burton completely with his body and soul.
From 1976 through May 1994 Troy’s father was a member of the Fellowship of Friends. As Plaintiff Troy Buzbee grew up he regarded Robert Burton as a God.
According to the case distinction between Burton and Troy’s father were not clear to him at times. Troy Buzbee became a member on October 10, 1966 when he was 17 years of age, virgin.
After Defendant Burton and Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC’s factual representations and undue influence caused Troy Buzbee to lose his ability to think independently, he became increasingly subject to the domination, control and undue influence practiced, implemented, and used by said Defendants.
In direct consequence of such deception, coercive persuasion, brainwashing and undue influence, Defendant Burton used Troy Buzbee, among hundreds of
other young men, for the partial gratification of his satyriasis, an uncontrollable compulsion to engage in sexual conduct with scores, if not hundreds, of men. In addition thereof, Defendant Burton exploited Troy Buzbee for the provision of cheap labor, well under the minimum
wage.
Said exploitation continued off and on until the time when Troy Buzbee terminated his membership with Fellowship of Friends, Inc., in August 1994.
Commencing in December 1986, Burton, would have “teaching dinners” during which he would ply Troy with alcoholic beverages. After one particular such meal in December 1986, Burton instructed Troy to come to Burton’s room and to shut and lock the door. Burton told Troy that
Burton was “an angel in a man’s body”, and the gods wished for Troy to be close to Burton. Defendant Burton then held in an embrace.
Defendant Burton said, “influence C wishes you to be close with me. “He repeatedly assured Troy that his “soul was not (his) body, and that the angels wished for (Troy) to be with (Burton).” Burton explicitly told Troy that the “angels” wanted Troy to disrobe, and the “angels” wanted Troy to submit to Burton’s sexual advances because Burton himself was an “angel”, a goddess in a man’s body.”
Burton said to Troy, “I promise you I am an angel in a man’s body.” “You have to remember that I did not write the play about Robert Burton.” Burton would kiss Troy on the forehead which he said represented the seat of the soul and then instruct Troy to “separate” from his body and just “let go”. Burton reminded Troy that Troy’s
body would soon decay while his soul was immortal.
Burton told Troy that he would talk to him after he died using the same soft voice he used at the time. Burton explained that for him the interaction with Troy went beyond conventional sex and into “supersex”, which was a
method characterological evolution.
Defendant Burton stated, “My
sexuality is on the level of Super-Sex.” From December ‘86–April ‘94, Troy submitted to Burton’s demands, which were: Drop out of college, provide Burton with sexual favors and provide hour long massages after Burton had been sexually serviced.
Burton used money from the corporation to pay other members for performing specific sexual acts. In denominations of $50 or $100.
The case mentions one case of “specific sexual acts” performed on Burton by Karl Feldman, Troy Buzbee’s best friend. Burton spoke openly about his sexuality in the form of jokes at the all-male dinners that he would often lavishly host at all-male, all-you-can-drink “symposiums.” He would boast that “one hundred boys would not be enough(for his sexual appetite).”
Troy worked at the gatehouse on F.O.F. property. Burton directed certain members who are “guards” to arm themselves with firearm-type weapons. Burton then had him become his “personal” guard. During the next four years Troy observed numerous men in Burton’s room in a single night. Troy was asked to massage Burton after his lovers left.
According to the case, Burton suffers from sexually transmitted diseases. He made no effort to tell Troy. As a consequence, Troy acquired viral herpes. In addition, Troy suffered from stomach ulcers.
Renaissance Vineyard & Winery, Inc. was built as a bomb-
shelter in obeisance to Defendant Burton’s prophecies regarding massive and wide-spread disaster and chaos in the near future.
Defendant Burton uses Renaissance Vineyard & Winery, Inc as his alter ego in the same way he uses Defendant Fellowship Of Friends, Inc.
According to the case…..
At all times mentioned herein Defendants Girard Haven, Abraham Goldman (also an attorney), Helga Ruth Mueller, and Clair Bowen were members of the board of directors of the Defendant corporation, Fellowship Of Friends, INC.
At all times mentioned herein all of the Defendants were acting as the agents and servants of each other and in doing the acts complained of acted within the scope of their agency and employment and at the direction and with the knowledge and ratification of the other Defendants.
The Defendant Burton at all times mentioned herein, dominated, influenced, and controlled, and does now dominate, influence and control the Defendant corporations and the directors and officers thereof, as well as the business, property and affairs of the Defendant corporations.
At all times mentioned herein, there existed and does now exist, a unity of interest and ownership between the Defendant Burton and the Defendant corporations; the individuality and separateness of said Defendant and Defendant corporations has ceased; and despite
knowledge of these facts, Defendant corporations and its officers and directors have had notice of acquiesced in and agreed, consented to, and ratified the conduct of Defendant Burton as herein alleged,
At all times since its corporation to the present time, the Defendant corporations have been and are now a mere shell and naked framework which the Defendant Burton has used and does now use as a conduit for the conduct of his personal business, property and affairs.
Defendant corporations are subject to a unity of control, and its corporate structure was created as an attempt to avoid payment of taxes and civil judgments and to confuse courts and those seeking redress for these Defendant’s acts. Due to the unity of personnel, commingling of assets, and commonality of business objectives, these Defendant’s attempts at separation of Defendant corporations and
Defendant Burton should be disregarded.
Defendant Robert Burton directs, controls and operates Defendant corporations and uses them to enforce his orders and carry out his attacks on groups, agencies or individuals, including the acts against Troy alleged herein, to the extent there is no separate identity between Burton and said Defendant corporations and any claim of such separate identity should be disregarded.
The Defendant corporations were created and are being continued and maintained pursuant to a fraudulent plant, scheme and device, created and operated by the Defendant Burton, whereby the benefits and
product of the income and revenue of the Defendant corporations are diverted to the use and enjoyment of the Defendant Burton through the Defendant corporations to himself while concealing the truth of his financial relationship with Defendant corporations.
Prior to the formation of F.O.F. and Renaissance Vineyard & Winery, Burton formed a conspiracy in concert between the corporations for the express purpose and intent of developing and implementing a plan and scheme which would permit Burton and co-conspirators to:
a. use, abuse and exploit the fiduciary relationship between the Defendant Burton and the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC,, on one hand and the members of and contributors to the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC,, on the other hand
for their own personal unlawful gain; and
b. to use, abuse and exploit the fiduciary relationship between the Defendant Burton, as ‘founding minister’, and selective members of the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC., for the express purpose and intent of performing unlawful and perverted sexual acts upon the persons of said members, including Troy, and by causing certain of the members, including Troy, to work for Defendant corporation Renaissance Vineyard & Winery, INC.,
and Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC.
That all times pertinent hereto, the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC., and the Defendant Renaissance Vineyard and Winery, INC, were formed and operated by Burton and said other Defendants for their sole and exclusive aggrandizement and to create an ambiance of neo-religious import which was and is currently being used by Burton and the other Defendants to manipulate, unduly influence, and control the minds, bodies, and the assets of the members of the Defendant
corporations for the sole and exclusive purpose of 1) satisfying Burton’s satyriasis-his voracious appetite for perverted sexual pleasure and elegant life-style; and
2) diverting the contributions and donations of the membership to their own use and purposes.
Members of the Fellowship are required to donate ever-increasing sums of money as they become further and further vested as members of the Fellowship with the caveat that when donations required of them are
not timely and completely made their membership is either revoked or they become indentured servants of the Defendant corporation in residence at its principal place of business for nominal compensation and required to perform degrading menial tasks of a full-time basis
at the whim and caprice of the Defendant Burton
and other authorized representatives of the corporate Defendant Fellowship Of Friends, INC., and Defendant Renaissance Vineyard And Winery, INC.
All donations made by members of the Fellowship are devoted either to the continuing worldwide recruitment of new and replacement members with fresh money to contribute to “the cause,” or the acquisition of assets, including but not limited to, Defendant Renaissance Vineyard and Winery, INC,
which are ostensibly being acquired for the use and
benefit of the membership but which are in reality being acquired for the personal benefit and aggrandizement of Defendant Burton and some or all of the other individual Defendants named herein.
Meanwhile, Defendant Burton annexes free and unfettered use and enjoyment in and to the assets of the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC., Defendant corporation Renaissance Vineyard And Winery, INC., and the benefits to be derived there from, including, but not limited to, the provision money for bribes to young male members to prostitute themselves in an intensification of
Defendant Burton’s compulsion and demand for sexual servicing of his long-standing state of satyriasis.
The entire, purpose, scope and extent of the aforesaid plan and scheme as implemented by said Defendants is to effectively deny the members of the Defendant corporation Fellowship Of Friends, INC., not only the right to participate in its rituals and teachings on an ongoing basis but also, and of equal importance, to deny members of said Defendant corporation, including Plaintiff, of their just right to participate as beneficiaries entitled to use and enjoy
the property of said Defendant corporation.
Troy suffered from fright, horror, grief, shame, anger, humiliation, embarrassment, chagrin, disappointment, worry, self-loathing, self-betrayal and self distrust.
Haven, Goldman Mueller, Bowen knew of all these afore-mentioned practices of Burton.
They have agreed and abetted Burton in his efforts. They knew of Burton’s diseases and said nothing.
At all times pertinent hereto, Defendant Burton, and the other Defendants, caused Troy’s mental and emotional centers to become deceptively and coercively inculcated with the following tenets:
a. Defendant Burton communicated with “C-influence” which was provided by “44 angels” which were each individually named including, but not limited to, Jesus, “Benjamin Franklin,” “Lincoln” and “Bach,”
and that Burton was the Fellowship’s only connection with
said “angels.”
b. Defendant was and is the most important person on the planet since Christ.
Defendant Burton claims a numerology of consciousness where he has already advanced to a man number 7.3, with Christ being a man number 8.
Burton is above man-made laws, a moral law unto himself.
c. “C-influence” brought Troy to the Fellowship and Defendant Burton, and that Troy’s interactions with Defendant Burton would be the most important relationship that Troy could ever have.
d. Defendant Burton is assisted by “C-influence” to guide the spiritual evolution of the member “students” with “shocks” designed to help them “awaken”.
e. The members of the Fellowship are special, and set apart by higher forces for survival. Members of Defendant Burton’s “inner circle” must associate only among Fellowship members must disregard non-members, and demonize ex-members who are critical of Burton whom “the =gods” will “destroy.”
Such ex-members’ opportunities for growth and
development are terminated failing to submit to Burton.
f. Defendant Burton possesses gift of prophecy that is infallible.
g. In 1998 California will “fall” in huge earthquake whereupon people will die in massive numbers.
h. In 2006 there will be an Armageddon, where all humans everywhere except for members of the Fellowship will be expunged by higher forces.
i. Members of the Fellowship will inherit the world’s material goods and act as the “Ark” for a new civilization based on that of the Greeks of about 450 B.C., and are thus presently preparing themselves to bear the torch of civilization now and in the future.
j. By following Defendant Burton’s directives so as to gain “being” (depth of character) through separating from suffering and immersing themselves in culture, mostly Western art, classical music, opera and ballet, Fellowship members, including Troy, are preparing themselves
for being the “Ark”.
k. Everything the members of the Fellowship, including Troy, had learned since birth was “false” and caused him to exist in a kind of “waking sleep.”
The Defendant Burton informed Troy that in order
to “awaken”, he had to replace what was “false” with what was “true” which was defined as the system of ideas as The Fourth Way, including all the “new” knowledge that Burton had added to that system.
l. Defendant Burton stated, and states, to the general Fellowship and to Troy, that without “C-influence” Troy could not “awaken”.
m. Defendant Burton stated, and states, to the general Fellowship and to Troy, that to “awaken” was the only way to avoid having the purpose of his life be to provide “food for the moon.”
n. Defendant Burton stated, and states, that Troy’s people outside the group as “life-people,” he said were “tragedies.” Burton said Troy’s own mother was such a “life-person” and that the Fellowship was Troy’s “real” family and Burton was his “Father.”
o. Defendant Burton stated, and states, to the general Fellowship and to Troy, that any challenge to the extent of Burton’s excesses of greed and satyriasis to be a lack of understanding of his practice of “crazy wisdom” which he asserts that he must force himself to perform is forcing himself to live that way for the good of the members as a “lesson.”
February 9, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Hey Elena,
It’s good to see you again. It would have been nice if you were to ask first before using this space, sure, Internet is for everyone, but…
Animam Recro primarily belongs to the Knight who has nothing to do with the FOF, as for me, I have distanced myself from that scene perhaps a year ago.
If you want an online space for yourself, ask the new moderator of the FOF discussion to start one up for you on the FOF blog, or start a blog yourself… its surprisingly easy to manage.
As this site is currently used for other purposes than the coverage of the FOF, I will be closing down the comments. I will keep all the old FOF material intact.
I hope you are well.